A guy I’m talking to seems to be uninterested in what I’m saying

Before I describe the scenario, I want to get a few things out of the way:

I and the guy I’m talking to have never met in real life. He was pretty much the only person I’ve ever gotten to speak to in weeks. Also, don’t assume I’m intimidating him or hurting him in any way just because of my username.

The guy I was talking to seems to be very polite and friendly so we decided to have a chat together. However my confusions regarding society in terms of media seem to leave him unresponsive. He states that he has never listened to music in the past fifteen to twenty years, so I assume he’s middle-aged.

That I can understand. But what really concerns me is when I talk about the massive hatedom of specific movies which he states that he’s never watched any movies, EVER. Which is strange to me since he had enough money to afford a laptop and might indicate that he’s also paying the bills for his electronics.

What baffled me even more is that he barely even talks about his own life and what he does with it. I’m getting the terrible feeling that he’s not interested in what I’m saying.

To be specific, I’m a nerdy and hypersensitive person. I tend to have a lot of things on my mind, and I’m not afraid to speak about it to the right people. I don’t lash out at anybody unless they speak ill of me or other people.

This is not the case. The guy is a generally friendly person and I’m very nice to him. Yet he states all the time that he’s not familiar with anything I’m saying. It’s so confusing to me. I could understand that if he’s always busy with his family or business or something like that, yet he hasn’t specified any of that.

I can’t help but feel like I’m somehow intruding him. He says he likes to chat but his responses seem to tell me otherwise.

Not being interested in what you are interested in does not necessarily mean that this guy is too busy. It might simply be a reflection of who he is - i.e. he does not watch movies, does not listen to music, is reluctant to share about himself and cannot engage with you on topics that you resonate with.

You do not seem to have much, if anything, in common. I wonder what you get out of this relationship?

It is hard to sustain a relationship without anything in common or when the other withholds about themselves. He seems pretty sketchy actually.

If you start talking with this guy online, through whatever forum, then maybe you could talk to other people who share some common interests?
Since from your description of the experience, you’re having neither intellectually stimulating nor interesting conversations.

My last therapist was not up to date on ANYTHING. Like he wouldnt even know who the kardashians were. Beyoncé? Ha.

At the very least, it seems to me this guy might be looking for someone to accommodate herself to him and his interests. It's not a two-way street.

I don’t have anything against him. It’s just that I get so confused whether he actually does anything in his own spare time to make himself feel good or not, that’s all.

I’m not looking for a romantic relationship since I’m aroace. I just like to see people as friends. I especially don’t want to speak ill of him since I don’t really understand his mindset.

In case this was addressed to me, just to clarify:

1. I did not suggest anything about romantic relationship, I meant any relationship and how hard it is to bond when we do not have much in common with the other person

2. by 'sketchy' I meant: someone who withholds about themselves. This was not a judgment but closeness in relationships also happens when people open up to one another. Otherwise the relationship is unbalanced at the very least.

Here there is no common interest and no personal sharing. This makes it hard to sustain a relationship or feel any satisfaction long-term.

There’s no one else on that forum that is active there. And besides, he never stated what sort of interests he had.

1. I apologize for the misunderstanding.

2. I can understand what you mean. I was usually the one doing all the talking, and it seemed to have overwhelmed him. I dunno really, although he was the one who messaged me first, I feel as if I might’ve taken advantage of him.

Maybe he's not from around here.

Are you actually talking, or texting?

We never met, so we’re just texting. To clarify, we were on a forum.

The no music, no movies, to me is a hint he might be a scammer. These things are literally not in his vocabulary / culture.

Do you know about catfish.com? I get guys all the time trying to befriend me on facebook.

He’s a scammer. He could be anybody. You don’t know who he is. Could be a minor. I’d stop talking to him

I’ve never heard of catfish.com. Can you tell me more about it?

Oops! Shoulda said, "Catfished"on youtube.



Heres last weeks episode.

Un-be-lie-vable.

For 10 freaking years. Flew to meet her at her house, she was not there, the pattern repeated itself, and he still did not see the obvious red flags? How can people be so gullible? 10 years. And those pictures of 'Vera' did not show her getting older during 10 !!!! years and still, the man was clueless.

I sort of envied the creators of this channel. If they actually earn a living investigating such stuff, it is a very fun way to make money.

I second the suspicion that the individual behind this is a minor. The minor does not know anything at all about the movies and music watched/listened to by the generation to which their fake persona would belong and thus, to avoid being caught or saying something stupid, they claim affirmatively that they are not in the know about music and movies.

I think the lesson for OP is first of all to use language that is true to reality. If it is just texting to an unknown entity, do not say that you are talking to a man. Texting is not talking. If you had talked to the man, you would have been able to determine roughly his age. You would have known if he has a Midwestern accent or if English is not his first language. You would have been able to assess if he appeared genuine or if he expressed emotiona. There is a formidable wealth of information that can be gleaned by just hearing someone's voice. But texting? It is much easier to be deceived via texts.

What kind of forum would have only one active poster?

“If it is just texting to an unknown entity, do not say that you are talking to a man. Texting is not talking. If you had talked to the man, you would have been able to determine roughly his age.”

Dude, can you like, not judge how I communicate and use my words? It sounds like you’re demonizing text-to-text conversations by stating they are below those that are face-to-face.

It’s not what she was saying. Conversations via texts are just as valid as face to face meetings (or at least phone conversations) when you know who you are talking to. My text conversations with my friends or family are valid because I know who they are.

When you texting with someone you don’t know it can’t be as valid as actual talking to a person because you don’t know who you texting to

He could be
A. A child
B. A woman
C. A predator
D. Group pretending to be one person
E. Serial killer etc
F. A bot
G. AI

List goes on

What about when the person online actually has a profile picture of himself, hmm?

Do you have no idea that a lot of people on the internet use fake profile pictures?

It could (and often is) someone else’s picture. Scammers are known to appropriate pictures of various usually trustworthy looking random people of the social media and then use them to lure and prey on vulnerable people

I have to add that he might be also in prison. They have some internet access. That would explain not talking about himself or being clueless about some stuff.

Its either strippers or soldiers or doctors.