I Feel Suicidal

My daughter left me 7 years ago(religious beliefs). My wife left me again 7 months ago(called me a narcissist, therapist says I'm not). My son left me a week ago(he has coping skills issues). I had to kick him out for his behavior. He yells, curses, break things, and just stayed in his room playing video games(he's 25, college dropout). My brother refuses to talk to me, he's dealing with minor mental issues. I have no family.

I think I have dependent personality disorder. I'm really alone. I have my own business and struggling with the paperwork, and I'm behind on a lot of taxes and filings.

My house is cluttered and smelly. And thanks to my son, who has been in and out, I have a roach problem.

This is the 3rd time my wife has left me. She left again in April, about 7 months ago. We've been together for 34 years(Im 53, she's 50). She won't talk to me and is very angry when she does. She prefers to text, and she won't talk about us. Also, when she does talk it's like little codes and threats.

I'm scared, lonely, and depressed. I hide in my house. I check my mail at night. I'm embarrassed to be seen by my neighbors. I've always delt with a minor case of social anxiety. I just thought she was my forever. I'm scared. I was sitting on the couch and I felt my heart just stop, followed by a pain. It lasted for about 6 or 7 seconds.

Welcome to MSF @cutman2000 - sorry to hear you are struggling to deal with life's challenges. That must be very stressful.

It sounds like your son created a mess - that is not your fault.

If you are having trouble coping with the taxes and the housework, what do you think about the idea of getting a tax preparer and a house cleaner to help you get back to a stable place?

Hope you get the support you are looking for.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

Thanks. I have a cpa(only does the annual corp filings) and a bookkeeper(she's new and trying to catch me up). I met a woman at a gas station, she was driving her decorated home cleaning business minivan, so I got her card.