How should I deal with this autistic client who went off on me?

I’ve been with my client for a few months. She has autism. She is normally sweet & polite. Recently she has been giving me a bit of an attitude for no apparent reason.

It might be because she’s dealing with back pain, idk, She’s currently not being treated for things.

By attitude, I mean I’ll ask her a question & she ignores me or she’ll say I heard you or yes ‘insert my name here’ in an annoyed way.

I treat her with respect & I don’t talk down to her or tell her what to do, so I don’t understand why she’d give me an attitude.

Well, things got worse recently. I tried to tell her to do something in a nice way. She then snapped at me later at home. I was just sitting down. I made her dinner & I made a doctors appointment for her too.

All of a sudden, she demanded that I stop playing games on my phone & to do my job. She ordered ne to do the dishes. Before that I just asked her to help me with something & she was like, you won’t even let me rest for 10 minutes! I never said to help me immediately.

Rude! Her tone was nasty like I was her servant! Then she told me that I’m moody & how I never ask her how she’s doing & that I never try to engage her conversation which isn’t true.

I am afraid of saying the wrong thing, so I keep things light & I don’t ask her to many personal questions.

She’s normally quiet & on her phone, so I assumed that she didn’t want to talk much.

She’s normally quiet. She was resentful that she intiated most of the conversations. She’s normally quiet didn’t communicate things to me at all.

Her parents are nice & they did warn me that she can have an attitude at times. She is middle aged but she acts like a young teenager still.

Her mom will talk to her today. I did tell a manager what happened but she probably won’t do anything as she doesn’t like me.

She is also very protective of the clients, & she did accuse me of being ‘to sensitive’ when I was yelled at by another client.

She obviously doesn’t care about my feelings at all. This lady is my only client for now unfortunately.

I could request to change clients, but what if no new client is available? I work f/t & this might affect my hours .

Anyways, my client calmed down after I told her that I wasn’t ignoring her & that I wasn’t aware that she expected me to ask about her & to talk to her more.

I told her that I’m introverted. She didn’t apologize to me for anything though.

I think part of what set her offis that a manager at work was annoying her that day. Also, she’s in pain too as she stopped getting treatment at the doctors temporarily since the doctor is unavailable at this time.

If she does anything like this again, I will drop her as a client. I didn’t tell her that though.

She is very sensitive & she’s like a child. She needs help with almost everything.

She even needs to be told what to eat. I’m upset that my manager is ignoring me & the problem.

What should I do? How can I prevent her from snapping at me again?

As I said, she was usually polite, sweet & easy going until recently. She also insinuated that I’m full of crap. I don’t understand what she means by that.

I’m upset because I did so much for her like buy her food, drive her to four different stores in one day, cooked her meals from scratch, gave her gifts, etc.

So, why would she treat me so rudely & disrespect me like this?

I am so sorry you are in that situation. I have practically no experience dealing with those with Autism so I am afraid I cannot really offer you anything helpful. I am so very sorry that you are suffering though!!!

I am sorry that things aren’t easy but honestly when we have careers/jobs that involve caring for vulnerable population: mentally ill, developmentally delayed, young children, elderly etc, some difficult behaviors are to be expected. It doesn’t mean you should be ok with it but it’s not unusual.

Honestly having thicker skin and not taking it personally does help a lot. If working with this type of population is a challenge, then it might not be a job for you.

Do you have a formally established break? If yes, you could use that time for playing on your phone. If not you should request a break. I’d say you should have a short break every few 4-5 hours or at least I think so. I don’t think you should play on your phone at other times

I think her acting childish and having hard time making decisions is due to ASD, not her trying to be difficult

Things that you do for her are part of your job. I don’t think it’s you doing her favors. Not sure why you buying her gifts though. That’s so unnecessary

Thanks. Her parents had a talk with her. Hopefully she won’t act up again.

Thanks. I tried not to take things personally, but she’s messing with my livelihood.

I don’t think that two of the managers there like me as they gave me attitude a few times & one of them didn’t care that another client yelled at me. She said that I was to sensitive, rude!

She also ignored my text regarding that client & another issue. Management sucks at this company.

I just got her Christmas gifts. She got me something too.