[Summer2025]

Hi everyone.

I would really appreciate some feedback or advice

I have been with my partner for 1.5 years. He has 3 kids with ex-wife. From the beginning him and his
family told me how horrible narcissistic she is.
She moved far away and left him alone with kids.

She made her son so anxious to be around me. She sends me rude texts warning not to interact with kids or buy them anything.

She visited them 4 times and stayed in his house and he then came and stayed with me.

He posted a photo of us on FB and she lost it. She was so angry she stopped paying child support.

What frustrates me is that he never say anything to her. There is no boundaries. He just want to keep the peace.

[CANDC]

Welcome to MSF @Summer2025 - Sorry to hear things are so contentious. That must be hard on you and the kids also

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

[Zena99]

I've had to deal with a lot of narcissists. The thing to remember is that they are children. Don't give them adult status. Don't take anything they say seriously because they're not telling the truth. Don't expect them to handle any responsibilities. They don't see themselves as having any responsibilities. Those are for grownups like you. And they don't like having to come to you and ask for something. They always want you to think you're coming to them on their turf and needing their cooperation. If she wants visitation, make her show up at a designated time and place.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

You need an attorney to enforce child support. You will not resolve this situation without legal counsel.

[Zena99]

(Tart Cherry Jam) Definitely. An attorney is the most important thing to have on your side when dealing with a narcissist. They will not accept lies and gaslighting as an excuse for breaking the law. She's trying to get you upset by making you think your husband still has a thing for her, when really he doesn't feel that way. And she's hoping you'll think he's not on your side, so you might as well not even try to get him to help you hire an attorney to enforce child support.

[Rose76]

Block her from being able to text your phone. This is someone you should interact with as minimally as possible. You can't control your husband's boundaries. Concentrate on your own. Even though you have become a couple, you each need your individual zones of control.

It is very tempting to think your lives would be so much better, if he would just do this or that. You have to somewhat let go of that. I would listen patiently, if he talks about how he can better manage this situation. But he's the one who has to decide what to do.

Your role in those kids' lives has to be that of grown-up friend. Don't try to assert authority over them.

I would suggest that you have a facebook page that is your own, which she is unable to access. Pictures of your boyfriend and you can be posted there, where they'll be viewed by people you and he are on good terms with, who value you as a couple. Let him have a facebook account for him and his kids that his ex-wife and her family can view, without bumping into photos of you. At least for now. Someday you may make a commitment to him through marriage. You may decide to cohabit with him permanently. Some things can be modified as your relationship with this man develops. Right now, you're a girlfriend. That means there needs to be a healthy distance between you and his ex-wife. She has no business contacting you about anything. Don't let yourself be an easy target for her attacks. Create a space between you, so that she does not impinge on what belongs to you.

[unaluna]

[AzulOscuro]

Summer 2025 hasn’t post anything else. I wonder how many people throw their **** out there onto others and doesn’t care.