[coldfusion8]

Ok here's a tough and weird situation. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 2 yrs now and we're both seniors in high school. Lately she has been acting weird and very testy and she is always getting mad at me over little things (note she has been on birth control for the last few months - mood swings?) . So at dinner she tells me she thinks we should go on a break before college to see what its like being single. This totally throws me for a loop and I start questioning why and if she really loves me. She tells me she will always love me, and just wants to see what else is out there for a little while. Now we have officially been on a break for about a month and she still wants to continue it because she's not ready to go back yet. But we don't hate each other because we still talk and continue to share good stories together. But now I'm just confused. Two years with ups and downs and we developed our relationship so much, now she wants to "see what else is out there"?! I thought this would just pass soon after a while but it hasn't. There's no "other guy" as far as I can tell, and I'm not just being too clingy (I'm NOT thrusting myself at her saying "take me back!" or anything). So what do you think I should do? Thanks! - Curt

[dottie]

Hi! Sounds like it's time for you to try and start dating other girls. I don't think it's the birth control pills..so much as it's possible that she is maturing, growing, etc. You are so young and it's at this time, especially, that we start to feel things differently and see things in a different light as well! Let her grow!
Best regards,

Dot

[sunrise]

coldfusion, sounds like a painful situation for you, but it is by no means weird. It is common for people your age to try a number of partners, to even be fickle. It just ain't time to settle down yet. Two years is a long time to be together at this age. I think your GF is just spreading her wings, ready to fly. I know this doesn't help, but try not to take it personally. She is very young. Who knows, maybe after you both have matured a bit, gone to college, etc., you will rediscover each other. In the meantime, cherish the time you have had together, and enjoy life!

[sabby]

(((((((((((( coldfusion )))))))))))

Welcome to PC

I think the replies here are pretty much on target. I remember being together with the same guy for almost 2 years through high school too. I remember that what I thought was the most important things in the world to me at 16 had changed when I turned 18. And that's because as we age, grow, mature our goals change and our minds open to different things. This happens throughout our lives....it's not just a "teen" thing.

I'm sorry that this threw you for a loop.....I'm sure you are hurting and understandably so. What I can tell you is this.....with each relationship we have in life, it gives us a basis to learn and to apply what we've learned in that relationship to the next and the next and the next. If your relationship with her was meant to be for a lifetime, then you will both find your way back to each other at some point.

Since your ex wants to grow and learn of other things out there does not discount what you both meant to each other through high school. I'm in my 50's and every now and again I chat with my old high school sweetheart. We reminice of the old days and share what's happened since then in our lives. We truly loved one another back then, but our relationship was not meant to be in that light for our lifetime. We will always love and respect one another for what we brought to each other during that time, but we know it wasn't meant to be forever. I know that it was still painful for both of us to go through at the time, but we did heal and we did move on....just as you will.

I hope you can find some peace soon. I can say that if it's possible to stay friends, you will have the best of both worlds....and a connection for the rest of your lives in your hearts and memories.

Take good care of YOU!


sabby

[Perna]

Hi, coldfusion, welcome to PsychCentral. I don't think you really have a choice; if she wants to continue what she is doing outside the relationship then that's how it has to be for now.

Were I you, I would explore also, not necessarily dating, if you don't want to do that, but career choices and what children and families are like and the "rest" of relationships and experiences life has to offer. You're barely 1/4 into life. Do a little looking ahead to what may be coming up and thoughts you might have on some of it; where to live, what to do, how to make money, how much money you want to make, what car to own; there's all sorts of stuff out there and having an idea of what you like and don't like might help you get a jump on some of it when it comes up. Working on your own projects will keep you from fretting about your girl and what she is doing with her life. The two of you might know yourselves better if you get back together and that's always good; if nothing else, will give you new topics of conversation :-)

[curley]

Im sorry you are going through this. It is confusing when you think you have a good relationship and then hear that your partner wants to explore. But you can also look at it that you are young and there is plenty of time to seek other relationships. And at least she cares enough to tell you whats up instead of going out behind your back. Hope everything works out good for you