[Rhapsody]

I am beside myself as to what is going on these days..... it seems as though every time I turn around my husband and I are fighting with words and it is starting to get the best of me and him. Most thing we say to each other is often taken the wrong way or out of context and then the words of irritation start to fly.

I cannot talk to my husband about what just took place for every time I try he already seems to have the matter figured out in his mind - even if it is wrong and all he wants to do is continue to argue with me... telling me why I did this or why I said that even after I try to explain the truth to him from my side of the fence.

Why can't we both have our side of the fence heard and still be right - with in our thoughts and ways........ I do not jump on him just because his opinion is different than mine and it does not make him wrong - just a different point of view.


Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - HELP! HELP! HELP!

[LMo]

((( Rhapsody ))) I've been wondering where you've been. You've been really quiet lately

Is something going on with him that is prompting all this fighting?

Maybe you need a little vacation for a few days - go somewhere relaxing and peaceful to regroup and sort things out in your own head?

[Rhapsody]

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LMo said:
Is something going on with him that is prompting all this fighting?

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I wish I knew......... he has been like this with everyone the last four or five months (work & family) - and I just seem to get the worst of it.

I am finding that I am weary at even talking to him (as are a few others) for one does not know what will set him off next or be taken the wrong way....... it seems as though the next argument is just a word away. *sigh*

[LMo]

walking on eggshells is no fun - when my husband was severely depressed, I lived with eggshells every day for at least 2 years. I feel for you

There is so much "advice" about taking care of yourself first, ignoring the eggshells and speaking your mind, socializing, exercising, blah blah blah but the fact is that when you live in an eggshelly house, all of those things seem useless once you step foot inside the door again.

I do think that a trip away for a few days might do you and maybe even him some good. Can you afford a spa weekend? Or at least a few days at the beach at a B&B?

[Rhapsody]

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LMo said:
I do think that a trip away for a few days might do you and maybe even him some good.

Can you afford a spa weekend? Or at least a few days at the beach at a B&B?

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Maybe when Income tax comes in......... a weekend away from him would be good for a short while, but then I must return -

[LMo]

I know... but hopefully he'll have benefited a little from some space ?

[Rhapsody]

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LMo said:
I know... but hopefully he'll have benefited a little from some space ?

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True...... as we both need some time away from each other.

[Rhapsody]

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LMo said:
I know... but hopefully he'll have benefited a little from some space ?

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P.S.


It is just so hard never knowing if what you just innocently said will turn into WW lll or not -

(Ex Tonight my son who just got him licence recently was asking for directions from to school to the dentist office and was not understanding the way my husband was trying to take him - and my son even stated "I need buildings in my directions" so I tried to take him a different way that I knew we had driven before and my husband got so irritated with me and started to argue with me and give me his eye rolling and words of what are you talking about that is so wrong...... even though my son got it and thanked me.

(Ex My older sons gf was over at the house and she asked me a question concerning money and while I gave her an answer I also told her that I would rather not talk about it right now and my husband went off the deep end for I would not finish my conversation - even though I told him that I would talk to him about it later after every one was gone.

[sabby]

((((((( Rhap ))))))))

Sorry you and hubby are going through some difficulties. And I don't know if you feel comfy doing this suggestion or not, but it might help.

I've done this before and it really opened up their eyes. They didn't even realize how they sounded until I recorded and episode and played it back for them when they were in a fairly good mood. So, if you have a tape recorder...maybe voice activated...it might help to get him to see/hear how he has been acting?

I hope things quiet down soon for the both of you. I know how stressful life in the home can be when one is seemingly "off" for whatever reason.


sabby

[Rhapsody]

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_sabby_ said:
I don't know if you feel comfy doing this suggestion or not, but it might help.

if you have a tape recorder...maybe voice activated...it might help to get him to see/hear how he has been acting?

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I have thought about doing that exact same thing....... maybe it is worth a try. Thx.

[Doh2007]

Sometimes I'll say, "It seems like we're bickering with each other a lot more than usual. Does it seem that way to you?" Then I'll give an example and he'll think about it. If we can't get it resolved, we'll go to the marriage counselor and she'll make him listen to me. (Heh)

[Lenny]

Like a clap, a fight needs a partner for it to resonate.

Make your honest plea for peace,,explain that you are concerned about the future and value of your relationship, and surrender to win.

IMHO.

Lenny.

[Rhapsody]

I am so glad that a wife cannot be arrested for mentally thumping her husband's big fat stubborn head with a very large & heavy frying pan....... Errrrrrr.

His Male PMS is driving me CRAZY....... ARGH!

[salukigirl]

rhap - are you married to my boyfriend? because it sounds like our situation. i say something like "wow. feels like i need new brakes but i dont know why. i shouldnt already." and he FLIPS. it turns into "youre always spending money on the car!" and keep in mind I bought this car last may and havent done anything but an oil change or 2 to it. i feel like i cant say that i like something without him automatically assuming that means im going to go buy it. or that something is messed up without hearing him complain that im going to spend money fixing it.

what is it with guys?! im sorry youre going through this rhap. i agree that a few days might benefit you both but only if he goes into it with an open mind. he might see how lonely it gets not having you around for a few days and be thankful to have you back. and the same goes for you. it might open up a whole new appreciation for you guys.

[Rhapsody]

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salukigirl said:
rhap - are you married to my boyfriend?

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ROFL - its possible or at the least they are from the same gene pool -

[salukigirl]

so thats why he keeps flying to florida lol

[nothemama8]

Rhap, ummmmmmmmm after 31 years of marriage I know where your coming from, these (men childs) can be hair pulling brats, could he be having mental meltdown, you can come stay here with us anytime you need your space from him
Love ya
Angie

[Rhapsody]

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nothemama8 said:
could he be having mental meltdown

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Always possible, for he did turn forty-three a few weeks back and we all know that some people can tend to have a meltdown around midlife...... not a midlife crises, for he already went thru that - but rather a mental meltdown from the frustrations of life and from what he has or has not done so far at this point in his life.

To sum it up - HE has turned into a Grumpy Old Man..... and he is only 43.