I was fighting, but I just feel to tired to be fighting..

..guess i'm not the fighting kind.

You know, I am just not even sure what to do anymore. It is almost like I don’t even have a place of my own to vent anymore. I am forced to keep it all in and I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so scared of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing. Even when I come on here and I know I am supposed to be able to say how I really feel and get it all out but I can’t. I can never truly say the things I want to speak. I am forced to keep these words in. Where am I supposed to turn? Even now writing this I wonder if I should hit the continue button because I know at some point I will hear the why? Why? Why? What are you referring to? I want everything to be better, but I am falling apart and this just pushed me farther and farther in to the “no return” zone. I am losing everyone, and everything. I don’t know how to make people understand. I can’t even come in to chat anymore and be honest or say how I feel with out being picked apart or being afraid of what I say being repeated. My life is going so wrong right now and I can’t control it anymore, I can’t control me anymore.

{{{Court Knee}}}

Can you escape into books or your school work or anything for awhile? That's what I use to do, a lot of reading.

((((((((CourtKnee)))))))

((court)) im sorry you feel that way

((((CK))) I'm sorry you are feeling this way too.

Try and realize that things aren't as bad as they feel to you. Everything you say is not wrong.

Keep telling yourself good things.

It's ok to just "be" for a while.

(((((((( CK ))))))))