[NuckingFutz]

I've been close friends with someone who was nice when I met him but as time went on he became insulting, hateful and exhibited bizzare behavior that I could never understand.

I guess as they say, I need to stop trying to make sense out of nonsense.

The problem is, somehow I fell in love with this loser and now I'm frustrated because it's affecting everything I do just to get over him. I've already put his personal ringer on silent when he calls. I've told him to loose my number...he called back 3 days later and I caved. I can't afford to cave anymore.

I want to get on with my life and have someone in it that is caring, compassionate and loving. I guess what I'm saying is that this grieving process is taking so long. I am forcing myself to get on with my life...doing my chores, shopping, even scheduling pleasant things to do each day (plesant things don't seem to be as pleasant when one is going through the grieving stage). Nighttime use to be a welcoming friend, now I take a sedative early and go to bed at 10:00.

I'm in a lot of pain and want the pain to end.

Any encouragement would be appreciated. <font color="#000088"> </font>

[phelps]

if i was in your shoes I'd try start socializing with friends a lot more. Not necessarily guys...but just friends...whomever they are. Then, keep an open mind to finding someone new. I've been told the best way to get over losing a pet is to buy another pet.

[sabby]

(((((((((((( NuckingFutz )))))))))))))))

How I so understand where you are right now. I'm sorry you are going through this. Been there, done that, wore the t-shirt and trying to throw it out myself!

The grieving process really does suck the life out of us doesn't it? But I do know that while going through it myself, each moment, each hour, each day that I go through is bringing me closer to the time when I will feel better.

Keep in mind that you are an individual who deserves to be treated with respect. First and foremost, treat yourself with respect, compassion and understanding....the rest will follow from the outside.

Wishing you well and hoping you feel better soon!


sabby

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( NuckingFutz )))))))))))

[CedarS]

I love your title to this post.

I sure can relate. Something that sometimes has helped me is to read up verbal abuse and get reminded that I don't deserve it.

Also, the book Crazy Love: Dealing with Your Partner's Problem Personality might be useful, I just now read it,found a copy through my local public library. By "dealing with" they also mean getting away from. There is info on how to safely and completely get away from guys like you've been dealing with.

You could also google on "verbal abuse" and get some ideas.

I know the grieving period can really suck. I got through it a bit easier when I really took good care of myself, as if I was home sick with a cold. Good time for fun easy healthy distractions.

Best of luck to you.

[Perna]

It's hard. You have to grieve the loss and then "replace" it with something new; you invested part of yourself in the relationship and now have to get it back and reinvest somewhere else, probably with another person.

When my boyfriend and I broke up it was a horrible 6 months and even a new, exciting job didn't quite do it for me. It took another relationship beginning (the one with my husband :-) to get things back to life.

Hope things get better for you soon.

[BalishBun]

You never want to stay in a relationship when your lover starts insulting you.