[sassypants]

I have been having a on & off get together with this man, that I have known for 15 years. Like any relationship,in the beginning he was showing me signs that he really cared.

We usually get together maybe once every 2 months.
I know it is not a boyfriend -girlfriend realtionship. We always had fun together.

I just asked him today, since I have not talked to him in a while, mainly because I was feeling very depressed.
I actually turned down a date about a month ago.It was that
bad.

I asked if he was dating someone and he said yes. I know
i would have never known if I didn't ask him.
Just wanted to vent and get my feelings in order, because
although we weren't really dating it still hurts.
I guess I fooling myself, that I didn't care .But it is another
lesson learned. It is time for me to see the facts.Move on
and don't let my feelings get in the way.

My question is,
Does any one have a relationship even though they have
depression?

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Nelina]

You've known this man for a long time now. I can relate with you, in that even though there was not an official relationship, it felt like it could be, right? I'd say that if he is not willing to start a relationship---not to mention he is all ready committed---and the fact that the two of you don't meet very often, that you move on. Telling yourself different will only increase your depression. You cannot, however, deny your feelings. Bring out the anger and sorrow, cry---whatever it takes. Forgive, don't put it behind you; do not regret or resent. That will be a step in moving on. An answer to your question: no, I have not, but I can imagine the reasons why I would remain in a relationship even if I was depressed. I suppose it'd be reason enough that having a lover would, hopefully in the long run, make me feel happier or less empty. Someone to make me feel human, alive... "be a somebody." Knowing this though, is why I avoid intimate relationships. It'd be unfair to my partner and myself if there is no improvement in my mental status. I, too, suffer from depression. But I am looking for other means in curing me from this disorder. I hope that helps. You are welcomed to talk with me anytime. =)

[trippinmickey]

Yes but then again No Been with my wife for over 20 years but my Dep. ( Bipolar ) Didnt get very bad till my mid 30's so bad my wife couldnt handle it .I know it was hard for her to watch me in that much pain she kind of pushed me away that were my girlfreind came in .I became friends with her at the groups I was going to for bipolar. At frist the 3 of all got along .I was very Dep. so having someone who knew where I was coming from was a great help .Things did get out of hand and its a long storie . But You should try to meet someone with the same dep. if not as a boyfriend then as a friend .They can tell by the look in your face that all you need is a hug to help you hang on just one more day .Normal people seem to just wont to ***** at you .

[sassypants]

Nelina,

Thank you for giving your thoughts on my post.

It is really amazing that you understand what I am saying.

I am actually scared to meet anyone new, because like you
said it would not be fair to either one of us. Besides, that a lot of people do not understand how you really feel.
I am moving forward and just trying to focus on getting better.

Take care,
sending you a hug.

[sassypants]

Hi!

Thanks for sharing your story. I really appreciate your thoughts. Yes, I do believe that just a hug will help even as a friend..I hope you get better also.

Take care,
Sassypants