[RozG]

i do feel bad posting this asking for advice as i'm not fit to be giving any in return tonite but..i don't know where my head's at atm and i can't think straight myself ya know?

so anyway...i've already agreed to go stay with my sis tomorrow for a few days but i'm not keen for a few reasons.

one is i've not seen her in over 7 yrs, that was just a flying visit that ended in a major row...and that was the also the first time i'd seen her in over 7 yrs too.

i don't know her kids or her house...which makes me nervous just to think about coz i'm agoraphobic, have ptsd and am having a really rough time atm.

she's also having DV probs with her ex and i don't mean to sound selfish but i don't want caught up in the middle of violence.

i also desperately need to see my doctor coz these rollercoaster moodswings are driving me insane...and they gotta be getting on everybody elses nerves too? but if i go see my sis then it will be over a week from now , maybe a bit more, before i can see my doc.

so what i'm asking advice on is this...she's expecting me to arrive tomorrow evening. would it be wrong of me to cancel on her at the last minute? and if i do...she doesn't know anything about my mental health probs...what do i tell her? omg we haven't even spoke on the fone yet, just very sporadic e-mails when it's suited her...and that's another reason i'm nervous about going up there...she may be my sister but we didn't grow up together, i've barely seen her since my mid to late 20's...i don't know the woman!

any advice gratefully received. thanx.

[Christina86]

I'd say if you're not comfortable going at the moment, then to cancel now would be the best idea. You have to take care of yourself first.

[RozG]

Thanx Christina. I think deep down I know you're right but ...grrrr...I'm just a mess right now. Thanx again.

[Christina86]

((((((((((K_J)))))))))))))

I know you probably want to see her (even deep down), but if you're not in a good emotional headspace, I don't want to see you get hurt. Your health and wellbeing first!

Maybe try for some more emails, and slowly increase the contact instead of just jumping into a meeting?

[RozG]

You know what? I totally think that's the right thing for me coz I breathed a sigh of relief when I read that. And that's just the way I'm going to do it to.

Thank you ((((Christina))))

[katheryn]

i would sugest going to docs and dealing with that first, explain to your sister that you are a bit nervous about meeting her family for the first time and ask if you two could meet up seperatly for a chat first, just so when you go stay you wont feel out of place, even if you get your sis to stay with you

good luck do whats best for you

[RozG]

yes I do think i need to go to the doc first which means cancelling for now.

i must admit though...i never thought of meeting up with her first alone but that's a great idea. i know i haven't seen her in a long time but i could handle it that way.

thanks for that idea ((((Katheryn))))

[emptycalorie]

Speaking as a baby sister,

CANCEL!

I did grow up with my two sisters (whom I love dearly), have kept in close contact with them since, and we're just now beginning to know each other. Be good to your sister by being good to yourself first.

E.C.

[RozG]

well thank you for that. coming from someone who is a baby sister I thought you'd say "Go!"...point taken though that i'm no good to her if i need to get myself sorted first though.

take care E.C.

[ziggy1]

I think your fealings Validate the whole scenario your dealing
with K_J......Listen to your innerself. If you don't feel your
up to it...then stay home....

[RozG]

To be honest I think that's why I posted Ziggy. My inner feelings say stay at home. I'm just a bit messed up atm and needed to hear it from others. Thank you for helping.

[embarassed]

If you're not feeling good then it's okay to cancel but perhaps you could tell your sister why so she won't feel hurt or offended. Good luck.

[RozG]

Thank you I will...but by e-mail coz you don't know my baby sis...and I'm not up for it atm. Thank you for that suggestion.

[youOme]

I don't blame you. Do what you're comfortable doing.

[RozG]

Well, she does have quite an aggressive personality and I'm just not that way inclined at the best of times...and now isn't the best of times anyway. Thanks for reading and responding.