[emoangel]

My boyfriend and i are both very non confrontational people and would rather just give in to each other or vice versa then have to start an arguement or even a discussion. We just assume have things be smooth. He also knows i cant stand yelling due to a past of my mother yelling at me constantly in a very loud manner. So i know he doesnt want to scare me. I dont want to fight, i hate yelling, but i also know its not healthy to not disagree at least once in awhile. We've been together for 8 or 9 months and have not had an honest to god fight yet. Some intense conversations but other then that no. Should i just not worry about this or what?

[heidu]

I hate fighting too. I don't think it is important to fight. I do think it's important to have serious discussions. If you can have those and come to some conclusion, compromise or solution then there is no reason to fight. Good communication is so important but yelling or arguing is not necessary in a good relationship. As long as you are talking stuff thru then I don't see a need to worry.
Heidu

[Willow]

Good wisdom. I agree with Heidu. Not that I'm any good with dating and romance and stuff, but it makes sense that good "nuts and bolts" communication could help ward off angry confrontations.

[mj14]

This sounds very familiar to me...my ex and I lived together for 11 years and never really fought. And in the end, I think our mutual fear of confrontation is what ended our relationship.

I don't think fighting is necessary for a good relationship, but if the reason you are not fighting is because you are afraid of confrontation, and that causes you to not express your concerns and needs, then it becomes very hard to maintain a healthy relationship. In my case, we both got so used to not asking for what we wanted that we drifted apart, finding other ways to get our needs met.

If you two really just have nothing to fight about, then you should just be happy that you have found someone so compatible. But, if you think your lack of fights may be due to you both suppressing your own needs and desires, then maybe you'd be helped by talking to a counselor, who could give you ways to voice your needs without it turning into a fight.

Good luck.
mj

[Dorian]

I'm a little confused, what is the underlying problem that needs to be solve, if there are isues to be addressed, there not going to be solved by fighting, and I doubt you want to fight just for the sake of fighting. And then there's
the inevitable question, if your not communicating now as
as boy friend and girl friend, what else won't you be doing if you ever take it to the next level called matramony . . . good luck . . .

[Dorian]

I'm a little confused, what is the underlying problem that needs to be solve, if there are isues to be addressed, there not going to be solved by fighting, and I doubt you want to fight just for the sake of fighting. And then there's
the inevitable question, if your not communicating now as
as boy friend and girl friend, what else won't you be doing if you ever take it to the next level called matramony . . . good luck . . .