[maymie]

How do you know if you should fight to get someone back that you love? How long do you fight to get someone back that you love?

[Rhapsody]

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maymie said:
How do you know if you should fight to get someone back that you love?

How long do you fight to get someone back that you love?

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You should fight to get them back IF your life is better with them in it.

And - you fight like there is no tomorrow - never stopping if you truly love this person and they love you.

[tat2doc]

Q. How do you know if you should fight?
A. You'll feel it deep down inside that they're the one.

Q. How long do you fight?
A. Guess that depends whether they're receptive or not.

Like Rhapsody said, fight if your life is better with them in it, as long as it's for the right reasons and you're not bullsh&**ing your self. (loneliness has a habit of clouding things)

You do what you gotta do, know matter how long it takes. I know, I'm going through a similar situation myself.

[ArianeB]

If you are certain that you love them, you should give it your best, and do all in your power to fight for them. Once you have done this, see what happens. If they do not respond to your best efforts, then maybe it is time to accept and move on.

I would offer to go for councelling and if they refused and said they didnt want to know me any more I would back off.

I have been on the recieving end of somone not getting that I didnt want to know and it is scary and hard work it made me hate them in the end when we could of been friends which is silly way for adults to behave. Especialy when children are involved.

So I would ask them if there is somthing you was doing wrong and if you made an effort to stop doing that particular thing would it alter how they felt ? If they said yes then suggest councelling you never know it may work....

If not then back off.

[salukigirl]

im one of those "if you love it, let it go" kinda people. i feel like, why would i fight for someone that I love. If they loved me, they would come to me. If they dont come back to me, then why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who doesnt feel the same way about me?

Now, if youre fighting because you did something to chase them away, and you want to let them know youre sorry and you want them back thats different. But if its something like, theyre with someone else and it was their decision. I would just let it go.

Plus I dont really like the idea of fighting for someone because, to me, it seems like you feel like their a posession of yours. And you have to fight for them. They have their own will and if they dont choose to come back to you, then they must not really want to be with you. Once again, just my opinion.

[Lenny]

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maymie said:
How long do you fight to get someone back that you love?

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As long as the pain is worth the poverty....

IMHO.

Lenny

[seeker1950]

There's not enough information here....
Is this a spouse with whom you have a long time invested?
Is it someone who rejected you because of some specific reason, or just because they didn't "love" you?
I've been in lots of situations like this, and I have to say...if someone doesn't want me, it's better to work at letting go...and without further contact with them. Why? Because it's like trying to milk blood from a stone if they truly don't want you.
So...if possible...tell us more about the situation.
Patty

[heyjoe]

what salukigirl said

[curley]

Have to agree with other posting saying not enough information. But I also agree that if you feel your life would be better with that person then without I would go for it. If they are with someone else, I do not think I would fight to get them back. But that is a big one too! Do they know you want them back? See Maymie, really need more information to give the best answer.

[tat2doc]

Good advice....Why couldn't I have said that

[numbnut]

I've fought for someone in the past and ended up making a fool of myself, sometimes you just have to let go for your own well being. It's not easy, it depends on your situation - everyone is different.

[StarPonysMama]

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curley said:
Have to agree with other posting saying not enough information. But I also agree that if you feel your life would be better with that person then without I would go for it.

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I agree with this too. I think it takes a lot of analysis on the fighter's part. I have been known to sit down with a piece of notebook paper and write down all the pros and cons of keeping that person in my life. If the cons outweigh the pros, well, there's your answer.

And yes, receptiveness, that is very important. If they cannot see that you are fighting and that you are trying - then what is the point? If they are not considerate of your feelings in trying to be together at any cost then what's the point.

I suffer with this same dilemma. No doubt. However, I've learned that there are some things just not worth fighting for. Some things never change no matter how hard you fight. Sometimes it just is what it is. I do think we need a little more info though.

[MattWag]

I usally say if you have to fight its not worth it...but i have recently got engaged I am fighting to ensure that I keep the love of my world near me....so if it means alot to you and you decide its worth the fight...then fight until the end of time...thats what Im gonna do...