[Summerluvin]

I'll try to cut right to the chase...

Divorced for 5 yrs., started dating a new guy 8 months ago. He's also been divorced for about 5 years and has yet to be in a serious relationship. He actually ended our relationship 2.5 months ago, but then said he misses me and still wants to hang out with me and be "friends". So...we spend our weekends together, we hang with each others friends, we have a great time together, we have incredible sex, but we are not a couple. I know we are exclusive. He admits to being a commitment phobe and knows I want more. How much longer should I stick around? I know he cares for me but perhaps not enough. He's the best thing that has come in to my life since my divorce. I don't want to let him go...but do I even have him or is he using me?? HELP.

[wanttoheal]

It sounds like he is not going to commit. If you are wanting more than you are getting right now, I'd say you might have to consider moving on. I don't know that he is using you, but it doesn't sound like he can give more than he already is.

I think you might have to sit down with this and figure out exactly what you want out of the relationship with eyes open about what he is capable of doing.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

[valexand]

I don't know if he is using you but I'll tell you one thing.....he IS getting all the things he needs. He IS getting all the fun parts without considering your point of view and your needs. This is how I see it. Both of you are in this situation but I see only you limping. The happy moments that you think you are having are not really happy moments, there is a shadow over them and YOU are the one experiencing this shadow.
Maybe it is too early for him to commit? 5 years?? Hmmm.....Maybe you should get up and go. This might shock him enough to FORCE him to think.