surprised by son's father

my son's dad came by to bring me cigarettes. i told him i was so angry at his son. and started to rattle on about all the things he isn't doing at the house. and he didn't do his community service yet.. and and and .. well his dad said look.... don't get so angry at him.. we raised him wrong. we made a lot of mistakes. we always did everything for him.. he also said what we need to do is encourage him, talk to him, show him..to do things on his own... shouting and fighting isn't going to work with him.. getting mad isn't good for any of us...

wow.. am amazed..well we did spoil aj.. he never wanted for much. was always loved and taken care of. guess we neglected in teaching him "responsibilities" and discipline because we were so busy showering him with love

guess neither my son's father or i got much love or attention when growing up, so we went over board with aj..guess we have to be patient. sure wish kids came with instruction booklets. trial and error and the kids in one way pay for our mistakes....

i wish i had parents like me and the x husband. wonder how i would of turned out if i had been showered with love and acceptance.. shrugs shoulders

"came with instruction booklets"

if it were that easy

life is full of up and downs but all we can do is look forward and do the best

everyone wants to give better then what they had

the past is the past- hes still your son and you can still be there for him
-talking with him and not just geting mad at him is the right thing to do

you can do it :P

It sounds like you raised him a loving home, and that he still has a couple of lessons to learn about responsibility and consequences, but then what teenager / young adult doesn’t? Kids are a crap shoot I think. I’ve come to the conclusion that they can’t give you a manual because kids are so unpredictable. It amazes me that 2 or more children can grow up in the same home, with the same parents and turn out completely different.

Growing up our household was very dysfunctional, my saving grace as I’ve said a million times before was my dearest Aunt and her husband. I slept at my parents home M-T, weekends and holidays I was at my Aunt’s. I’d go there right after school and stay until bed time; I was there a lot. Their house was the closest to the perfect family that you could get. Their kids (and I was considered one of them) came first. They were not drinkers nor were they abusive in any way shape or form. They taught their children family values, manners, respect, the value of a dollar, and the value of an education. Discipline fit the crime and it was tempered with love and mercy. My uncle was an active hands on father before that was the norm.

And yet their youngest son married two of the most dysfunctional women that you’ll ever meet. He was raised with a wonderful example of how to raise children and yet he failed miserably with raising his own two daughters. How does one explain that?

for me it was my grandparents that have been there for me

and if he needs it a T is walys a good option
thats what I have now to help me out
im 19 now