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  #1  
Old Jul 20, 2008, 09:34 PM
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squid136 squid136 is offline
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how to try to start over It's seems so hard, I just got out of a 11 ear relationship, the whole dating thing and trying to start over & dealing with someone being unfaithful, how do you trust someone new? It feels so scary, I feel like i'm going to be alone the rest of my life. It is much easier it seems to meet people and date when your in your 20's but in your 30's its different, your thoughts and goals are different, is it only me who feels this way? How do you meet people without doing the bar scene and all your friends are married & most of their friends are married, so even doing the friend fixing you up is really not an option...

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  #2  
Old Jul 20, 2008, 11:52 PM
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vetswife vetswife is offline
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Location: Jersey
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A lot of people now a days don't even get married until they are in their 30's. A good friend of my mom's; her husband just left her, she is 54ish. She brushed herself off and got right out there again. I always found that love hits ya when you don't want it or not expecting it. Just go out have fun and don't go looking for love, it will find you.

Just my opinion anyway.

On the other hand, I've heard from a lot of people that eharmony is a great way to meet people.

Good luck!
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  #3  
Old Jul 21, 2008, 10:41 PM
Syed Syed is offline
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Location: london-England
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hi there

I am in a similar situation. I feel going to bars and clubs is not always helpful if you are not mentally prepared.

Its been a long relationship , must be hard for you .
  #4  
Old Jul 22, 2008, 06:51 AM
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Junerain Junerain is offline
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How about joining a church or group that does things YOU enjoy, whatever your hobby is, that way, you will have that in common....meetup.com has people meet in your area, doing all different things, some may be up your alley....
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  #5  
Old Jul 22, 2008, 11:36 AM
chiz chiz is offline
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Posts: 51
Hello,

I am not in the same situation but I have thought about that as well. I think that if it ever happens to me, I'd be afraid to enter into a new relationship. But I am not bothered meeting new people or going out with friends who have partners. Because if you will, you'll just deprive yourself of enjoying life. Love happens in an unexpected situation so just enjoy life and be positive always. Its just another way of saying, move on. how to try to start over
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  #6  
Old Jul 23, 2008, 04:42 AM
valexand valexand is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2006
Location: Everywhere. This is not a joke.
Posts: 126
I hear ya. I'm 31 and I'm still mourning over my first and last relationship that ended....4 years ago!!!!!
I've tried all kinds of things....matchmaking through friends (horrible), internet dating (weirdos), joined new classes and hobbies (nothing). Every failure reminds me of my ex and how happy we were and the "why things ended".
Every failure seems to me like an arrow pointing to the "you are going to live alone" statement.
Oh, for sure Ill also tell you the classic "well, you just gotta get out there and keep trying...." but seriously....doesn't this simply annoy you?
Good luck.
  #7  
Old Jul 23, 2008, 04:10 PM
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squid136 squid136 is offline
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how to try to start over
I glad to hear someone else thinks the same things i'm thinking & feeling, it's not that easy "to just get out there" ! I see other couples & think everyone has someone it seems and it hurts even more that my ex had my "so called good friend" move in the day after I left & she left her husband of 20 years and left her 3 kids with her husband! You can't feel like really sometimes there is no hope.
  #8  
Old Jul 23, 2008, 11:05 PM
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KissFL110 KissFL110 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: Hades
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Glad I'm not alone in this one. Now that my ex and I have broken up, it seems like everyone else has someone. Perhaps it's that I didn't care if everyone else had someone when I was in a relationship. It's a really difficult thing to deal with, and can make you feel lonely and unlovable.
  #9  
Old Jul 24, 2008, 12:24 PM
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StarPonysMama StarPonysMama is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: Redneck Central, North Florida
Posts: 323
(((((((((KissFL110)))))))))

I'll be 30 in August. No children, never married, plenty of long relationships and this way by choice.

It's tough but nonetheless a most perfect time to explore yourself - your wants, needs, hobbys, things to enjoy, things to share.

ENJOY YOURSELF

and good luck!
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  #10  
Old Jul 24, 2008, 12:33 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
I met my husband when I was 34 and we got married when I was 39.
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  #11  
Old Jul 24, 2008, 05:07 PM
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StingInTheTail StingInTheTail is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 35
Hang out with single friends! Being recently un-coupled has made me aware of how the whole world is aimed at pairs and families. I NEVER noticed this before, sheesh. Like being forced to pay 'single supplement' in a hotel room, oh yes, rub some more salt into that wound. Honestly.

Use the time to strenthen friendships, would be my advice. Friends get sidelined when you're romantically involved and they shouldn't because they're other parts of you.
  #12  
Old Jul 25, 2008, 11:01 AM
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Wants2Fly Wants2Fly is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2004
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 3,355
Yes, it can be tough. I am having trouble with the trust issue, too -- five years single after a 15-year relationship I thought would last forever.
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