I have a friend called Zac. We've known each other for a few years, he's a pretty good guy, but he's always been a little annoying- he's the kind of person that would wait for someone to make an error, then pounce on it.

He's also very touchy, and I always try my best to tip-toe around him, per say, so I won't bother him (at times I question why he's my friend anyways). Generally I'm pretty good at this.

I can't even remember how long ago it was- maybe a couple of weeks or so- I bothered him. I'll admit I'm in the wrong here I think: he wanted me to be honest with him about something, I ended up being honest with him, and my honesty offended him. I apologized, told him it was nothing personal, and I was sorry. I am really a person who doesn't like to have people hating them.

I figured my apology was enough, few days passed, he was still mad. I was in and out of hospital and didn't have time to keep apologizing, I haven't been well lately. Since I'm out of hospital now, I figured I'd talk to him.

He told me he was mad at me still. I'm getting a little fed up with this- he's the one that wanted me to be honest! But okay, I said that was alright, but I apologized, what more did he want? I said I had been in/out of hospital and not well lately (as he knew) so I wasn't able to talk.

He said I was just using hospital as an excuse! He knows why and how much I HATE hospital, and how I don't like to excuse myself anyways. I was getting fed up so I said okay, I'll talk to you later, and hung up. I'm at wit's end with this guy! My friendship circle has been crushed this year- my two former best friends both turned into (insert bad word here)s, and another good friend and I aren't on speaking terms right now.

I don't know if it's worth continuing to apologize to Zac, or if I should just give up. I've been there for him so many times, and I'm just sick of this (and getting sick of him).

[sabby]

Griffe my friend.....

He asked for honesty...you gave him what he asked for. If he is not man enough to take what he asks for, there is nothing you need to apologize about. He is responsible for his actions/reactions. So what if he's pissed off right now? Maybe he's more pissed off that you are right in your honesty and he's having a difficult time accepting that about himself. Maybe he's projecting on to you his dislike of himself.

You've apologized for hurting his feelings....you do not need to continue apologizing. As a friend, you gave him what he asked for. Now it's up to him to decide what to do with that information. You cannot control how he reacts to it. If I were you, I would back off, stop apologizing and let him be to figure out in his own head what he needs to do and how he is feeling.

Hold your head high and know you were a good friend to him even if he can't see that....it's his loss.


sabby

[Lenny]

Griffe my friend...you are such a genuine soul...

Truth, like a casserole brought to a party, is a gift,,regardless of ones taste.

It is polite to at least try it.

You were kind to have offered him some.

He should swallow.

Don't fret Griffe,,you have done your part,,,and well.

Lenny

Thanks ((( Sabby, Lenny ))).


I've just given up with him right now, I have other things to deal with and he's not one of them. I can't help feeling a little guilty and sad, this guy is a friend, but if he doesn't want to work at this or accept my apology then it's his fault.

[sabby]

Completely understandable ((((((((((( Griffe )))))))))))

There comes a time when we have to prioritize our lives....take stock in what is most important and go from there. Of course you feel sad about the problem in the friendship.....that's a very normal feeling to have. But to realize that you can not make him understand or forgive you is a huge thing. You just have to pick up and move on...put your energies into the things you do have control over and want to work on! Good for you!!


sabby

[multipixie9]

Griffe,

Like the others I recommend you stop beating up on yourself. You did as he asked and the fault here is now HIS. Even if you were not "perfect" in how you delivered the truth and I'm NOT saying you did anything wrong - YOU were man enough to apologise - repeatedly for his sake. He is whining like a baby.

Work to stop the guilt - that is your only job now because it is not productive and helps no one.

I'm sorry this happened - but none of us are so "light" that we can walk eggshells without breaking them!!!!!!!!!!!! How good a friend can he be if you must baby him so much?

I'm getting off my soapbox now, but I think you should do your best to set this down and leave it and move on and be happy in spite of it all.

Happy Monday,

Leslie