[Tiirikka]

I'm a bit sad for my shyness.
At least before summer it was a real problem to me. And now I'm afraid my mates are trying to get far from me. I have no real friends, except my sister. I don't spend time with my mates. Now the situation is a bit better but it was terrible when I couldn't say a word when I was with my friends. Or maybe one or two. 'Hello', 'bye', 'OK', 'thanks'. These are words I used. Really seldom I ask(ed) anything. So I'm not surprised my friends wanna be with each other, not with me, when having free time.
Other ways I'm not that shy, I can dance in front of the audience, for example. Body talk is easier.
Another reason I have no real friends may be that I am a lonely soul and want to do things I like. And those things may be quite different than theirs. And because for me being popular is not the most important thing.

[Malachite]

You will find friends! You may not find many, because you are selective. The ones you find, will be good ones; they will be like you. Remember, what you can't say with words, you can say with your eyes. Let those you care about, know you care about them.

[Sannah]

Hi Tiirikka, I used to be shy. I got over it by understanding why I was shy. I was shy because I had low self-worth, couldn't deal with my feelings, had shame, no social skills, felt like I had no power and had weak personal boundaries. I learned social skills, increased my self-esteem to a healthy level, understood and then discarded my shame, empowered myself and took control of my life, learned how to deal with my feelings and learned the skills of personal boundaries. I can function now without shyness.

[Wants2Fly]

Have you thought of reframing your shyness as being self-sufficient?

I attend professional conferences from time to time. I used to so envy how some people easily hooked up with others. Off they went for lunch, dinner, all kinds of amusements.

I made a point of hooking up with others. As I matured, I realized that I need more down-time and alone-time than most people. I often wonder why some people are so uncomfortable in their own presence that they have to seek endlessly to be with other people.

Don't get me wrong. I can feel defective when I hang back on the sides of a crowd. But it gives me a headache, too.

Give yourself time to find your own balance, and be patient with yourself.