 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Aug 17, 2008, 06:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The cop I mentioned before who likes me--he's trying harder to get me over to his place. I don't know whether to LMAO or be scared. He seriously wants to get me in bed!! He's getting more bold. And if he'd try anything, I know how I'll react. I wouldn't. I'll freeze up and let him do whatever he wants. That's my PTSD. I like ok as a cop and maybe a friend, but I'm not interested in more than that. I'm afraid to say anything. Another characteristic because of my past. I already tipped off a couple of people to hang out near me if this particular cop comes around by us because I know he's uncomfortable saying much to me in front of others, so I know that I at least won't be subject to much sexual innuendo and comments. He really, REALLY wants me over to his place! I don't know what to do!
__________________
My life and being formerly homeless 
|
|
#2
Aug 17, 2008, 06:31 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Be brave inkblot and tell him you just want to be friends for now, if he really likes you he will respect that. 
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
|
#3
Aug 17, 2008, 08:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I agree, tell him you just want friendship. If possible do this with a friend nearby so they can hear and support you.
If you have a therapist get their support too, have them help you plan out how you can make sure to pace a possible relationship how you are comfortable, not based on the other persons desires.
__________________
|
|
#4
Aug 18, 2008, 10:09 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I'm a little scared for you Inkblot. I hope you can keep other people around.
|
|
#5
Aug 19, 2008, 12:04 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hi inkblot,
Well, you need to tell him how you feel about the situation and if that doesn't do it then contact the Police community services department and ask to speak to a Chaplain. Explain it to him/her and if that doesn't work contact IA division, (Internal Affairs) about it. Good luck, |
|
#6
Aug 20, 2008, 04:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Inky, tell him no. There's no reason for any respectable person to insist on having someone come to their home, especially when it's a situation such as you have. Tell him you'd be happy to join him at a park for the annual Police BBQ or something instead.
__________________
|
|
#7
Aug 20, 2008, 05:06 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I agree with Sky and all the others inkblot...this is ridiculous...
Be firm and if continues tell him you will call his superiors..it so irks me the intimidation and control aspects of some folks in some professions.. Chin up..look him straight in the eye...it will soften his stance.. IMHO. Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
|
#8
Aug 22, 2008, 04:54 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Unfortunately, some situations it comes down to our own strength to keep us out of situations that we don't want to get into. As you said, with your past, you wouldn't be able to handle the situation if you got into it, so DON"T allow yourself to get into the situation. Don't feel sorry for him because he says he's just trying to be nice to you......that is manulipation to get you to do what he wants.
Don't let him make you think that without him on your side, you won't be safe.....sounds like with him on your side you might not be safe either.....it really sounds like he is trying be nice & kind & caring just to get what he wants out of you. If he really cares, he will be glad to be with you in public areas where he knows you feel safe & not pressure you into doing anything else. JUST DON'T GO THERE NO MATTER WHAT.....it is better to be safe than sorry......that little voice inside of you that is warning you to be careful is the only voice to listen to in situations like this. I know when I don't listen to that voice, it always ends up telling me "I told you so!!!!" Be careful, Debbie
__________________
 Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
|
#9
Aug 22, 2008, 05:00 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Ink...I totally agree with Eskie here!
Love Patty |
|
#10
Aug 24, 2008, 04:53 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Like most others posting here, Inky I think you need to PLAN how to take care of yourself. You told friends to stand nearby, so you CAN decide how to act and put the plan into effect.
Being brave is about doing the action, not about feeling less fear. Looking him straight in the eye and saying NO will be very empowering. You don't have to stay in PTSD forever, you can and will change (I speak from experience). Do ALL you can to PROTECT yourself. It is SO WRONG for someone in a service profession to use the power of that profession to exploit someone else. That Bites!!! IF a policeman pressures you to exploit you sexually or any other way, He BECOMES A PREDATOR. That is criminal. So, do all you can to keep others near and plan how to react before you will see him. YOU were victimized before, I'm guessing, but YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM - YOU ARE A SURVIVOR! Leslieann, getting off my--->  
__________________
  HEALING HAPPENS
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
