No real friends

In the area i live in.I know lots of people.But their actions towards me.Lots of times have been terrible.For example.I have been there for people. But those same people have never been there for me.People near me are so flakey.Been used so much and hurt.That i'm scared to meet new people.Scared to make new friends etc.I live a pretty lonely life.

((((((((((((( UCLAFan )))))))))))))))

It's hard to move past the fear and put yourself out there again. I hope you will find a way to do that slowly and easily soon. Living a lonely life really stinks.

Wishing you well!


sabby

thanks Sabby.Just don't want to get hurt again.But being alone sucks.At times i have my tv just for the noise.

Yep...I know what you mean....I have done the same thing myself. Right now I would give anything for some peace and quiet...LOL. I have a houseful most days....no rest for the wicked (family...gotta love em ... or not LOL)

Have you been able to sit down and figure out what kind of people you tend to gravitate towards? Maybe there is something in your behavior that the kind of folks you don't need or want are drawn to you? Sometimes it's a matter of changing something within ourselves that puts us on a different plane and we begin attracting better caliber people into our lives.


sabby

I find as we get older, it can be harder to make friends. I've made some great friends who live in other states who I often feel are better friends to me than those who live locally. So on nights like tonight when I'm home alone, I feel a bit lonely and afraid to reach out to others because I don't want to disrupt their evenings. I did have some success making friends locally by joining a club. This gave us something in common and the ability to meet weekly but taking it to the next step for more interaction was a challenge. I treasured those weekly meetings though.

I think there is no real friendship. Therefore don't look for a thing that does not exist. I'm keeping distance from people close around and I am fine.
I have recently cut off my friendship with my long time, maybe the only closest friend. We were college friends and were tight during college years and after college, when we both got a job, when we were working in the same city and when she got married and had family (becoz my country is small, there is only one big city).
I was smart and geeky one, she was more sociable and was my bridge to other people.
She first went to study abroad and one year after I came after her. But she was changed she didn't respect me as before and was treating me badly. While I was new and trying to adjust in new culture I showed some weakness by being depressed with new culture, with english barrier, being not so good at coping with people and not being confident in myself. Only one I could talk to was she and I did. Maybe I was giving her hard time by my depression.
Being like this I had nothing to offer her, I become useless for her. But when we were in my country I was in good position that was the reason for her friendship with me. (But she was too overestimating her, I was not drowning into deep down, I was just having hard time.)
I was so upset and after becoming to realize what she is doing with me.
I told her I think she let me down and even said she was acting like a b**tch. She said sorry, and wanted to continue like nothing had happened. But she did not change her attitude. I could not stand it. She hurt me and let me down when I was expecting much more from her.

My lesson is don't get too tight with people and do not rely on others, so that you won't expect much from them and finally you won't get hurt.
Be your own. It's better to undergo your problem by yourself, no one will make you feel humiliated.
But I'm not saying be all alone. It is wrong too. Just keep appropriate distance and don't be tooo open. There are many things that you have to keep only inside yourself to live safely in this universe.