[maymie]

Basically I feel bad. I feel like crap. My mom basically informed me that because I run late so much that I'm kind of a bad person. I know alot of people who run late who are good people. But to hear my mom say that hurts.
Then she told me that she dislikes me sometimes because I don't tell her stuff. I don't trust her and I've told her this. I've told her why I don't trust her and nothing has changed.
Then she asked me how much money I have and to be honest I just don't think its any of her business. I don't think its any of her business how much money I have. I'm 24 years old and don't think she has a right to know.
She also gets on my case about how much school I have left. I've told her countless times I have about a year and a half left and she just doesn't want to hear it. If its not what she wants to hear she could care less.

[EJ711]

Maymie,

First of all I disagree with your mother.

Running late is a behavior. It doesn't make you a bad person.

We all have good behaviors and bad behaviors or habits.

Being on time is a good habit to try to learn, b/c in general in society it is viewed as a positive trait.

At age 24 you don't have to tell your mother everything. It is OK not to trust her. The fact that you were able to tell her you don't trust her is awesome! It sounds like you are being healthy and breaking away from your Mom.

It sounds like your mother is having trouble letting go, and is criticizing you as a way to maintain control, which is inappropriate.

I had an over-controlling mother, who belittled me growing up. Feel free to PM me if you want.

It sounds like you are a Junior in college. Good for you! Keep going!!

EJ

Originally Posted by maymie

Basically I feel bad. I feel like crap. My mom basically informed me that because I run late so much that I'm kind of a bad person. I know alot of people who run late who are good people. But to hear my mom say that hurts.
Then she told me that she dislikes me sometimes because I don't tell her stuff. I don't trust her and I've told her this. I've told her why I don't trust her and nothing has changed.
Then she asked me how much money I have and to be honest I just don't think its any of her business. I don't think its any of her business how much money I have. I'm 24 years old and don't think she has a right to know.
She also gets on my case about how much school I have left. I've told her countless times I have about a year and a half left and she just doesn't want to hear it. If its not what she wants to hear she could care less.

[digdug]

It's so strange the hold that our parents have on us...I guess it's not strange, because of the bond we naturally have with them. But it's frustrating when they make us feel bad even though we know it's irrational. Just an emotional thing that's hard to control.

But you're in your mid-twenties now, and you're your own person. You seem to know this already, but, just to reassure you, you can do what you want with your life. Your Mom's parenting days are up.

It's tough, I know...I'm 31 and my Mom still gives my anxiety bigtime when she lays on a guilt trip. But try to focus on such situations from a rational point of view, not an emotional one...it's the best way to feel better.

[chiz]

Its really tough to deal with such situation especially with your parents. When you have to maintain your respect to them whatever happens and no matter how disappointed you are.

One thing I can tell you is that be calm when you explain things to them. If there are things that you don't want to tell them, just tell it to them. They ought to respect your decision. Sometimes parents just can't accept the fact that we're no longer a child and they are used to treat us like one.