[seeker1950]

First let me preface this by saying how RARE it is for me to become angry at work. In 20 years of teaching at the same school, I've never confronted a coworker before, but I did this morning.
I had applied for an "early departure" to go attend to some business during the afternoon. There are three other teachers to whom I could disperse my two classes of 6th graders, making it about 4 students to each class. This all has to be approved by the principal, and no little thing to do. I had already notified the three other Related Arts teachers, and we do this for each other when emergencies arise and we have to leave early.
I have never applied for permission to do this during this school year. One teacher does it all the time, at least once a week, and I always say "fine," send them on to me. This same teacher came into my classroom before classes started this morning, and said, Please don't send me any of your 6th graders this afternoon. I have to keep one student from ISS (In School Suspension), and I can't handle having anyone else. I was miffed! I said..."You're asking me not to send you any of my students because you will have ONE extra student in your room?" She went on talking, but I couldn't even hear her. I went to the other teachers to see if I could re-arrange the number of students and she came into the room. When she and I were alone, I told her, angrily, that she left her students with us all the time, and what if I did that to her? She could see I was upset (and honestly, I don't know WHY I got so upset!) She finally said she'd take some of my students.
Later, during our break, I went and apologized to her, and told her the students would be fine in the other classes.
I am wondering why I became so upset?!!! Also wondering if I was right to apologize to her. I do know that if I had had just one other student in my room, I would not deny her sending students to me if she had to leave.
I am actually thinking my reaction is due to this attempt I'm making to reduce and wean off Paxil. If so, it's kind of scary to me. I don't like getting angry!
Patty

[seeker1950]

I just have to add something here about expressing anger. I was NEVER allowed to do this growing up. Consequently, on the rare occasions when it does happen, like today, I turn it inwardly, and question myself. This has been the case all my life.
Patty

[bebop]

hon you said this teacher does this to you other teachers at least weekly. you had every right to be angry over it. she uses you guys but when you needed her she refused. that would anger me too hon. you are justified I think.

[seeker1950]

Thanks, Bebop...She does do this, but it makes me feel ill to express anger. I'm glad I talked to her and actually apologized, though it may not have been approptiate on my part to do so. I have to work with this woman, she is next door classroom, and we have hall duty as well as noon duty together.
Any thoughts on how you deal with anger, or injustices appreciated. I should have been more balanced in my expression of it, I think!
Patty

[sabby]

((((((((((((( Patty )))))))))))))

I would have felt just as you felt...used. I think your reaction was completely normal and justified. It's not like you went off the deep end and cried, screamed, hollered, slammed things etc. to show your anger. You verbalized it appropriately to her when you were both alone. You didn't discuss it in front of other people....completely appropriate. I don't see where you did anything wrong in expressing your anger. If it were me, I would not have apologized unless I acted inappropriately...but you did not. I think you did a great job!


sabby

[ECHOES]

I relate to how you feel about anger and about not being allowed to be angry when growing up, but anger is a normal emotion that we all have. Your situation sounds like it would cause anger--wanting your generosity returned, having to make last minute arrangements for your kids. Your coworker was being difficult and maybe wouldn't have realized her request made things difficult for you if you hadn't let her know how you felt.

Maybe Paxil has numbed you emotionally, I don't know. But good to have all our emotions available to us, I think.

[seeker1950]

Thanks, Echoes and Sabby. So good to get this feedback!
Yes, Echoes, I do think Paxil, and other meds like it that I have taken over many years now, has made me passive and unable to express feelings like anger. It will be a learning experience if I find myself feeling emotions with which I haven't dealt in such a long time!
Thanks again to both of you!
Love
Patty

[Lenny]

Sounded like a healthy boundary to me seeker..

Like others have said...I think your humanity was proudly displayed..

Lenny

[Rosie7]

Good for you. Did it feel good? I have a hard time asserting myself too.

[seeker1950]

Thanks, Rosie and Lenny!
I do think I overreacted, especially knowing this particular teacher and her ways. Since I must work closely with this woman daily, I felt it was better to establish communication by apologizing. In doing so, she did not acknowledge any fault on her part, which is typical, while I turned it around on myself as an inappropriate reaction, just to remain on speaking terms with her.
Anyway, all is well now. I had a wonderful afternoon off, taking my art to Tamarack where the reception was so positive. They wanted everything I took, which was all I could haul in my vehicle.
Thanks again to all my PC friends here!
Love
Patty