i love the relationships i have made online, but it sucks me deeper into a false reality.....
i realize i need real life friends..
im just waiting for you guys to jump out of my computer and into my living room.
do you think reality can ever live up to fantasy when it comes to online relationships?

[Wants2Fly]

Hello CottonCandyLocks --

I have been struggling with this, too. For a time this summer, the Forums was my lifeline -- literally. I don't know what might have happened to me without the kind and generous people here.

They seem very real to me, too. Of course, we are real. It isn't a fantasy life. Not really. We are all quite real human beings, even though we can't reach out and touch each other in 3D reality.

I, too, need to make more efforts to increase my social contacts. Well, I started circling the kind of New Age things I like to do and writing them into my datebook. Sooner or later, I will go to one. I've still got a lot on my plate to get my new apt in order and find work. All things in time.

Your intention to change will make it so. You'll see. It will be so for both of us.

[SpazKatt]

I can only wish

[nothemama8]

What we need is to have a confrence meeting place once a year, set up a place to meet , get money (grants) to sponsor the trip to confrence and meet each other
Angie

I think meeting in person would alter things irrevocably.

Most probably a mixed blessing...
But once it is done it can't be undone...

I like what I have got.
That was the point there.

But in some respects I guess I am not much of a risk taker.

that is a terrific idea...

[sqrlb8]

Is it a false reality neccessarily or simply one with fewer dimensions? I'm learning that it is as real as I am when I'm posting or responding or chatting. In fact it has been talking with you that has shown me this. Having talked thru so many tough spots, when you finally felt better, or when you broke down, or when you posted the happy pic, the lump in my throat was as real as could be. I'm struck by a purity aspect to it too. Maybe the dimensional defecit in this reality serves to render the emotional experiences of it in a distilled or less complicated form.

Aargh, someone shoot me.

Anyway, don't be in a hurry to clutter your life up with a bunch of relationships. Let it happen slowly.

My post breakdown life doesn't look very much like my pre breakdown life. I found much of that life was illconceived and wasn't sustainable. A lot of relationships were like that too. No hurrries, and it's all about you. Has to be.

Now, I'd like to say something dripping with the honey of sentimentality and warmth of affection, but that would hardly be in character, so ... nah.

xo

[Wants2Fly]

Lots of good points in this thread.

I have mixed feelings about the "conference" idea. Conferences and parties are always a trial for me. Too many people in one place. I spend hours hiding out in my motel room bec. I need the "down time." Which is, apparently, a feature of being an introvert.

I'm not sure how much it would add to the richly textured emotional and intellectual feedback here. As said -- once it is done, can't be undone. And of course, the extroverts will self-select to attend, the introverts will hang back. And some without money to attend will be exluded.

Sqrlb, I like your thoughts about the difference about pre- and post-break-down life. I am making many adjustments myself. Have to accept many things that previously were "unacceptable." And now, after a period of grieving and processing and accepting, coming to believe that it was many of the old parts of my life that are "unacceptable."

Not sure how it's all going to shake out in the end -- but then no one ever is, are we? We just think we know how it's supposed to shake out. And some of us go to pieces if it doesn't. Or if it does, but we planned too stressful an existence for ourself.

Oh heck, I am just blathering now. With apologies to gender-neutral language --

Man plans. God laughs.

gtg

[Myzen]

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I'm not sure how much it would add to the richly textured emotional and intellectual feedback here. As said -- once it is done, can't be undone. And of course, the extroverts will self-select to attend, the introverts will hang back. And some without money to attend will be exluded.


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Hi Wants,

Not to mention those of us who don't even live on the same continent!

Cheers, Myzen

[MacD]

ccl, i so relate..online is new to me..and sometimes it scares me how close i feel to the people on the site..but i do think that all of the friends we make here are very Real and Valid..As for guys..look around at the ones you see on the street...and maybe you'll decide, as i have..that right now...the guys here are exactly what i need..they're warm, funny, supportive..and they don't hurt me...that's fine for me. keep talking..i like to hear what you say...Mac

This is a really cool thread. I have actually talked to some of the people that I've met online and got to meet a really, super cool on in Austin at Thanksgiving. But...that said...online time can suck you in..........p