On loneliness...

Well, I feel kind of stranded lately with so much loneliness. Maybe, it's been with me for a long time... How do people deal with such thing? Really, I don't know. I have a younger brother in my family and as far as I can remember he has always had tons of friends and keeps maintaining them up to this present day. When there were problems at home I could see him go out with his friends and confront problems in a more positive way. Meanwhile, I have always been kind of a loner. I mean, I have had good friends but I don't have a group of them keeping more to myself and being shy. When there were problems at home, I was just be in my room all alone and would even shun others to be next to me. Has this happened to anybody out there?

Clearly, loneliness affects me. I mean, when my social skills lie beneath me i feel like I'm one step behind everyone. It's hard to get a good job this way, because of course people value what u appear to be and if you are not socially fit it's hard unless you overcome shyness. Lacking of social skills in my case, I think people around me sense me as an insecure personality. And really, it is quite true since I feel that way.

Are there any solutions? Could you share with me your experience to overcome loneliness?

why doesn't anyone answer?

i dont know how to deal with loneliness coz my worlds so lonely i can say i know how its feel but dont have any idea how to deal with that
just could send u a hugs
and maybe no one answered coz they dont know what to do too

i just read your post, so i could not answer sooner. i do not have a 3 point plan to social achievement. that sounds flippant, but i do not know exactly how a person becomes social.

i believe that how social or not an individual is comes from a combination of genetics and experiences(nature and nurture) in one's family of origin. i was born to be fairly outgoing and social. but, i was born to a mom who was a loner and who had one good friend for 50 years, a second for 35 years and a few acquaitances.my dad fulfilled his social needs at work and on the golf course and we had little or no company at home. our family was a troubled and unhappy place. for me the safest place was alone in my bedroom. it came to be both refuge and prison. i have grown so accustomed to living this way that even desiring to become more social, i am not sure if i can become more outgoing.

if you wish to gain social skills their are organizations which can help. Toastmasters - teaches public speaking and confidence. there are many organizations that meet to help people or even just for fun and you can get connected through many different agencies like the public library, local churches, groups like Habitat for Humanity. it depends only upon your interests and determination to find something to do.

i find myself most connected and happy when i am helping other people. the real issue is finding where you feel you fit in. i hope you find what you seek soon.

leslie

When I feel the need for friends over come me (not often as I too am a loner ) then I head for a local church, always some sort of club going on and they always seem like nice enough people to me.

I don't stay forever just till my need is met then off I go again, and like you my mum is a very very sociable person with life long friends.

Thanks to all of u!!! I was just wondering since I checked my msg every day. I kind of felt a little sad for seeing everybody elses posts being answered and mine didn't get any.... feel kind of like a little child lately, kind of sensitive! see u all

Rappaccini

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