okay, so here it goes. i have never asked for advice for vented like this online, bet here it goes.... before i kill myself or him.
I have been with this guy for about nine months.. a large amount of our relationship was long distance. And when i first got with him he was coming off of a relationship that went sour with his ex who he lived with when i met him...(and she still calls him which also annoys me) but, i have recently moved out of state with him.... i am far from home. i dont have any support network out here. He moved out here before i did and met some girl that lives in the apt complex.... he said he wants to talk to her and hang out with her, but does not want me to be around for that.... i think that is weird and it makes me paranoid. Also, he turns off his phone, hides it at night time, takes it in the bathroom to bathe, and he wont answer it around me.... now i think all that is very weird. And i am a person who is paranoid enough about everything, every relationship i have been in the guy cheats on me. . . it sucks i can not stop the paranoia, and the stuff he does does not help either.
Oh yeah, he is WAY less intrested sexually than he was before.... i am lucky to get a kiss from him...just a peck. It seems like since we have been living together i have become more like his mother that stayed his girlfriend. It is very discouraging. he gets up in the morning, showers, gets online, goes to work, comes home for lunch, gets online, goes back to work, comes home, gets online, then goes to bed. it really makes me depressed. I want attention, and when i try to get it he tells me to stop and leave him alone.
I just dont know what the hell to do,m i feel trapped. It is hard to talk to him cause he gets mad and tries to put the blame of everything on me and makes me feel stupid for even bringing any topic up to discuss .
ugh, i dont know what else to say. most likely i will type more later.

[tat2doc]

Perhaps trapped is the wrong word? Maybe frustrated is a better term. I was in a similar situation last year where I got the blame for everything from the g/f. And I was always the one that was wrong, according to her. After being through it, and knowing what you're going through, I'd suggest sitting him down and cutting through the BS and find out just what the problems are. If he beats around the bush, dump him. If he honestly loves you, he'll open up and work on a solution. If not, then you got your answer and know what you have to do.

Message me if you wanna talk further.

tat2doc- Thank you so much for your words. I will most likely message you in the future.

[AAAAA]

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean you're wrong. The behavior you describe sounds very odd in deed. His anger may be from his feelings of guilt. If he's unwilling even to talk about the problem I don't see the relationship having a chance.

I know the feeling of isolation of leaving everything you know behind.

AAAAA - i left everything and everyone i know behind, what a weird feeling, it has been a few weeks. This is the longest i have ever been away from the home town, and i think it is just now hitting me. oh how do i miss the comfort i once had.

[prettyjolie]

aww.. i'm sorry. I know what it's like to move to a whole town.. or a whole new state and feel so alone. I had to do it for my husband (he's in military).. and I know nobody. So it's really lonely, especially if the person you're with isn't being perfect. lol.. I've realized that you need to meet people and make friends and so that you don't depend on the other person to give you all the attention that you need. Because it's not fair to expect one person to replace everyone you once knew!
Your situation sounds very difficult. And I would say that you need to have a talk with him. Make sure you get your point across.. and tell him to put himself in your postion. What he is doing is not right. He shouldn't be hiding his phone or hiding anything from you, actually. You're in a relationship and in a relationship, you're supposed to be completely honest with the other person and open with them.
He is clearly showing signs of cheating. He's not being sexually interested in you, treating you like a mother or roommate, not a girlfriend--and he's hiding things from you. He's being way to defensive. You are NOT being paranoid, you're being smart. You realize something's wrong.
Let him know that he's always making you look like the bad guy and like everything's your fault.. tell him exactly how you feel. And tell him that if it continues, you're going to leave him.. because it's what you need to do.

It's not right for you to stick around when you're all alone and feeling like hell. That's not how a relationship is supposed to make you feel.

Talk to your family and friends at home, see if they can help you find a way home, or if you have a job, save some money for a plane ticket. You need to do something about your situation. You should not have to live with someone who treats you like that. You deserve better than that.

Good luck

[ncguynva]

I hate to say it but it sounds like he is up to no good....its the same behavior that my wife had.

thank you everyone for the reply. I know what i am going to do. Thanks for being there to listen. I did not mean to get all personal in here.