[myoasis89]

For all the Married people...I know I keep asking about questions about being in relationships...and I know it annoys people..but I'm curious and I guess insecure about lots of things to do with relationships. How do you know the guy you are with loves you. My bf says he shows loving by doing things for me. I know I care for my bf.. but I feel emotionally numb...I've felt this way all my life...I know i care because when i am with him...i am the happiet I've ever been...but when I am at home and not with him...i feel numb...I'm not sure how i feel...when i talk on the phone with him i am excited and sad when he has to hang up....I pray to God he feels the same loving feeling...I know it's dumb to rush things...but I want a future with him...I know I'm only 19...but I'm not sure if he wants that with me...it's been 9 months...when do you start talking about the future together??

[bonaire]

I started dating at 17 when I was a freshman in college. It was a long-distance situation (70 mi.) since she was back home and I was away at college.

I felt the same way - when talking with her on the phone or being with her. I would go write letters to her daily. Thought about her a lot.

I think the excitement of a new relationship for me turned into not only love but a moderate obsession. Love is addicting and some brain doctors find it even is chemical in origin. Since I was in colleg and had roommates and other things going on, I had the ability to split my time up pretty well. But I imagine that if we had been closer distance-wise, I'd have spent even more time with her. My grades dropped after meeting her - but in the end, I learned a lot from it all.

[myoasis89]

Originally Posted by bonaire

I started dating at 17 when I was a freshman in college. It was a long-distance situation (70 mi.) since she was back home and I was away at college.

I felt the same way - when talking with her on the phone or being with her. I would go write letters to her daily. Thought about her a lot.

I think the excitement of a new relationship for me turned into not only love but a moderate obsession. Love is addicting and some brain doctors find it even is chemical in origin. Since I was in colleg and had roommates and other things going on, I had the ability to split my time up pretty well. But I imagine that if we had been closer distance-wise, I'd have spent even more time with her. My grades dropped after meeting her - but in the end, I learned a lot from it all.

Thanks bonaire, I'm guessing you chose not to marry her...may I ask why. You don't need to answer if it is somthing you wish to not talk about...I was just wondering if you were obsessed with her...but realised it wouldn't work possibly..

[ncguynva]

my (soon to be) ex wife and I dated a couple months before i went to boot camp and 2 weeks before i shipped off she told me there was another guy. She said if I wasnt going into the Marine Corps, she wouldve been with me or if i chose not to go. I couldnt do that so i went to boot camp and came back and saw her once at school. Didnt talk to her for 2 years
i get back from afghanistan and the girl i was trying to get with blew me off in afghanistan so i didnt even see that one. But something told me to call Ashleigh (i never forgot her number...and hadnt dialed it in years). So I called and talked to her for hours...she was already late for work so she didnt even go in.
She and I dated and it was the best feeling i had ever had before. We dated for about a year and a half and she and i just started talking about kids and a future with each other. I was getting ready to leave on another deployment and i played with the idea in my head to see how things were when i got back and then propose but it seemed she really wanted something then. So i proposed. 7 months after i get back we get married.

after that...well just look at my threads.....

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by myoasis89

For all the Married people...I know I keep asking about questions about being in relationships...and I know it annoys people..but I'm curious and I guess insecure about lots of things to do with relationships. How do you know the guy you are with loves you. My bf says he shows loving by doing things for me. I know I care for my bf.. but I feel emotionally numb...I've felt this way all my life...I know i care because when i am with him...i am the happiet I've ever been...but when I am at home and not with him...i feel numb...I'm not sure how i feel...when i talk on the phone with him i am excited and sad when he has to hang up....I pray to God he feels the same loving feeling...I know it's dumb to rush things...but I want a future with him...I know I'm only 19...but I'm not sure if he wants that with me...it's been 9 months...when do you start talking about the future together??

I wonder about this too, Oasis. But since my boyfriend's depression is worse than ever, I can't talk to him about little things, let alone something as serious as if we have a future. I may get in trouble for saying this, but I personally don't have a mood condition, and it's VERY challenging to be in a relationship with someone who does, the good man that he is.

We've been together two years, but I don't know if it's going to work. I guess you don't know that once you DO get married as well. I dunno. I've asked this question of married people, on this site and others, but I'm not getting much feedback or clear cut/black & white answers.

Right now, it feels like we're just drifting like a sailboat in a channel. Is the boat sturdy enough to go out into the ocean, where it's not going to be calm waters all the time? Or is it going back to the docks, where it's safe?

Sorry can't be much help, since I'm kind of in the same place now.

[myoasis89]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

I wonder about this too, Oasis. But since my boyfriend's depression is worse than ever, I can't talk to him about little things, let alone something as serious as if we have a future. I may get in trouble for saying this, but I personally don't have a mood condition, and it's VERY challenging to be in a relationship with someone who does, the good man that he is.

We've been together two years, but I don't know if it's going to work. I guess you don't know that once you DO get married as well. I dunno. I've asked this question of married people, on this site and others, but I'm not getting much feedback or clear cut/black & white answers.

Right now, it feels like we're just drifting like a sailboat in a channel. Is the boat sturdy enough to go out into the ocean, where it's not going to be calm waters all the time? Or is it going back to the docks, where it's safe?

Sorry can't be much help, since I'm kind of in the same place now.

Thanks nonightowl, I always appreciate your responces

[prettyjolie]

For my husband and I... well, he was the one that started talking about our future together.
And we had been dating about 2 months and already he was talking about marriage.. it freaked me out a little bit, but I loved him and even though he broke up with me twice before getting his act together. But a year later, we got married.

I think it's never too early to talk about your future together. Tell him what you want out of your life.. it is getting married soon. You both need to be aware of what the other wants in the future.

[bonaire]

Originally Posted by myoasis89

Thanks bonaire, I'm guessing you chose not to marry her...may I ask why. You don't need to answer if it is somthing you wish to not talk about...I was just wondering if you were obsessed with her...but realised it wouldn't work possibly..

In my situation mentioned above - it was more related to my inability to share my relationship with my mom. Plus, the age-difference was a "tough sell". She was 14, I was 17 at the start of it all. As time went by, 15/18, 16/19, it was more "acceptable" but you can only hide a girlfriend for so-long... There is more to it - but by the time she started to get sick of my long-distance relationship, she kind of got involved with thinking that her Sr. year in high school was something she wanted to focus on, got a new boyfriend and then we drifted apart. I still miss her. She actually moved to the city where I live now - but we've never spoken since '86. By chance - I saw her mother in a hotel pool in her hometown this last summer when I was up there visiting the area. That was freaky.

You may ask "why did you hide her from your mom?" - that was because my mom was my primary source of support, I was an only child, I was adopted and felt that at any time, she could cut-off my support of college funds and all that. That's how I lived my life - "try to make my mom think I'm doing everything she wants me to..." (but I was nowhere even close at times)

[nonightowl]

Anytime, Oasis. Thank you for that.

I needed that, LOL.