[Patricia12]

I don't know if any of you can help me or not. Here is the situation/question:

I am divorced....I am in love with a man whose wife passed away last
year after a 2 1/2 year battle with breast cancer. She died on July 17,
2002.

I know that this man loves me and he wants to marry me. I want to
marry him but here is the problem.....he hasn't gotten rid of any of his
wife's personal belongings..clothing, pocketbooks, shoes, jewelery, etc.
I feel he hasn't moved beyond his wife and am afraid that I'd be
marrying a man that is still clinging to the memory of his wife. Please give
me your thoughts on this. I'm feeling desperate for guidance. Thank
you in advance. Pat

[Zenobia]

I would wonder if he has totally accepted the passing of his wife. My mother in law just lost her husband. Part of the grieving process for her was going through my father in law's belongings and letting them go. Each time she let one item go she was one step closer to coming to terms with the loss. I have witnessed this when my grandpa died and when my grandma on the other side of the family died. Both of my remaining grandparents did the same thing, slowly giving out things as they came to terms with being alone.
Carrie

<font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos