[skymonk]

My bf&I seemed to have been getting along fairly well after a really tough 2008. Tuesday night he took me to see "Twilight"&said he enjoyed the movie&all seemed well. The next morning he wouldn't talk to me, eat w/me, or stay in the same room as me. He's been spending 99.9% of his time away from me for the past few months, but I've counted that as good time because he's said "I love you"&hugged&kissed me&we haven't had any screaming fights. I'm doing my best to find a job-going to workshops at the Employment Dept. to boost my skills&refine my job searches-I think he wants me to leave. He says "I love you" but he doesn't mean it&doesn't seem to want anything to do with me-I don't know what I did. This is just the latest in a series of instances of him breaking my heart-I'm hurting&would really like to hear some heartfelt words to keep me going.

[Capp]

((skymonk))
No wise words, but I do want to tell you that you do not deserve to be treated this way.
You are a worthwhile human being and should be shown respect and be treated with dignity.

His behavior is no reflection on you, but it is on him.
He needs to be honest with you about what is going on...perhaps if you talk with him with calmness, he will share what is bothering him.
It may be nothing that is connected to your relationship.

Be kind to yourself,
Cap

[ihateit]

I don't know how wise I am...but I know I have been through my share of relationships that suck, and I am sorry you have to go through this! There are literally thousands of reasons he could be acting this way, from some sort of disorder to...anything. I agree with Capp, as I say in many of my replies, communication is everything. If you can have a calm converstaion and state your feelings, hopefully he will do the same, let him know how important communication is to you, and you need to talk through this. If he can't, or won't, therein lies a problem I have no answer for...except maybe it's time to move on. You don't deserve to be treated like this, and you don't have to stand for it. You are a worthwhile person and your needs need to be met as well as his.

GL and God Bless!

[skymonk]

One of the problems is he WON'T talk!

[Capp]

((skymonk))

quick question--I'm getting ready to go out
but I saw your post and wanted to ask you

do you have a second bedroom? or at least another sleeping space?
jme, perhaps putting some physical space between you along with a simple explanation will give him pause to think...he doesn't have to answer you...if fact, don't expect him to be anything but pissy about it. TS.
he needs to respect your boundaries as you set them.

if it's hard for you to say anything to him, write it out. short and sweet. no sense in getting into anything too involved for now.
all this is is taking a first step in independence from him.

Please listen to my heart speaking to yours;
You are a beautiful and loving woman.
You have an understanding heart and sweet spirit...do not let this man tear you down. Whether or not he "means" to do it doesn't matter right now--what matters is he is making you doubt yourself and your right to be happy, respected, and appreciated.
Love yourself first and foremost, and that is one of the hardest things to do, I know.
If you don't have at least some affection towards yourself then he is going to continue to abuse you.
There are many kinds of abuse besides physical abuse...

Part of what I hear you sharing though is that you do have some idea of what he is doing, don't like it, and know that you don't deserve it...I hope this is true.
Hold on to every good feeling about yourself that you can think of, and hold on tight.
It's a gift you are giving to yourself so please protect it and don't give it away.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are...
We Care

Cap

[madisgram]

"sky" i think cap said it all!!!remember we care about you and you are a deserving woman, a person of value and worth. we all care about you here. know that we are with you, not irl, but we are with you nevertheless.