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#1
Feb 23, 2009, 01:15 PM
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I know, I know. Before the inevitable backlash from this decision on my part reaches me I’d like you to see the circumstances around it. First off I love him. I really do. I know that I’m 18 years old, and he is 17, but he also loves me. Now that that is out there I would like to say that conventional relationships have never worked for either of us. I don’t want him to feel responsible for my emotional well being. I don’t want him to feel like he has to see me all the time, or think about me all the time, or even feel bad if we miss a weekend together. Honestly, I felt overwhelmed with attention from him before we were even dating. I like my alone time, and so does he. We were trying to force conventional relationship ideals on our situation, and it didn’t work. Now that we are back together it’s only on a trial basis. I told him that we are both unique people that conventional relationships don’t work for, and that I’d really like to just have a talk with him about what he needs and wants out of a relationship and what I do, and if we redefine what a relationship is to us, and it sill doesn’t work, then I won’t even argue with him about breaking up because I will know that I’ve done all that I can, and there isn’t any way we could work together.
Something else that is on my mind, and doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the breakup or the reunion, is a post I read yesterday. It was a reply to a previous post in which a woman was talking about how she thinks that the reason girls end up with extremely pessimistic men that aren’t even attractive is that those men make them feel stupid and unimportant and like he is the only thing good in their lives. I’m sure lots of you also read that reply/post. The reason I feel like mentioning that here is that my boyfriend is almost like that in a way. He is very pessimistic about the future, and I know he doesn’t think very highly of his physical appearance. But honestly I think that he is absolutely beautiful. He might not be attractive in the same way people seem to think that I am (short, long black hair, very big dark eyes, skinny, his mom once said I look like a porn star, I’d like to know what she means by that) he’s tall, has long blond hair, very big blue eyes, and is muscley. He thinks he’s fat. He is not fat. Anyway, the whole pessimism thing is something I share with him, but at the same time I’m better at getting through it without spending lots of time feeling down. I like to think that I help him through his “down” time. I’m not saying that is what any of you should do. I realize that we are all different people, and what may work for me and my boyfriend might not work for other people. In fact I’m very proud of the women who managed to get out of those relationships that didn’t work for them, and I completely support their decisions. But I just want everyone here to understand where I’m coming from with my decision…. What do you all think about it? |
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