I really need advice...PLEASE read.

My boyfriend and I just broke up about a week ago. But he had good reason to end things…he saw an instant message from another guy (my exes best friend who for the past month kept trying to get me to do something with him) in which it said: “so are you still coming over tomorrow?” in which I had replied “no my throat still hurts.” He had wanted me to go down on him. I didn’t want to, so I made up an excuse, because everytime I’d say no, he would just harass me…so finally, with my stupid thinking, I thought that if I just agreed to it, but never do it and just make excuses (like I was sick, or Cory was with me, or just something stupid) he would get mad and leave me alone…trust me, I now realize how stupid it was to think that. But I did, and I can’t control it.
Needless to say, I’ve talked to this guy for the past 3 months, and it was almost every day. My boyfriend and I have almost called it quits over him before because he didn’t like the fact I was talking to him…but I just thought he just wanted to be friends. Then about a month ago, he started bringing up sex, like I said..I did stop talking to him but then he started messaging me again and wouldn’t stop.
I know I messed up. And I had to move out of our apartment and everything. But I had never met this guy nor was I planning to…but I understand where my boyfriend was coming from in breaking up with me.
But I I’ve only had eyes for him the whole time we’ve been together…but he doesn’t trust me anymore. And I know how to regain some of it back, of course…I haven’t talked to the guy, I’ve blocked him on everything I have, and I’m going to get my number changed. I know I’ve messed up, but I want my boyfriend back…
He says he loves me still and does want me back but it’s just really hard for him to trust me. He says he can’t allow me to move back until he knows he can trust me…which really hurts, because I’m dead without him. L I’m miserable when I’m not with him. I just stayed the night with him, and it was the first time I was able to really eat, get a full nights sleep, and smile.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to cope and garner his trust faster? I hate being without him. I love him so much; no one understands how much this really does kill me. ):

Give him your phone and tell him to break it, symbolically. You can get a new one. Or just throw away your SIM card from your phone. Do it in front of him as a way to prove how much he really means to you and that you would make any sacrifice.
I don't know if trust can be fixed. Sometimes it can and other times it cannot. Give it a shot by talking to him and get a feeling on how things are going.
Good luck.

Couples counseling&why was this guy who supposedly was your bf's friend hitting on you or communicating w/you in the first place? Like the last responder-trust is hard to get back-I've lost trust when I didn't even do what I was accused of&no matter how much I tried to defend myself my bf wouldn't take my word for it. Find out what exactly your bf has in mind as far as how you can earn his trust back. Don't do anything that will degrade you-he'll just push you around if you do-but I see no harm in giving trying to re-unite, if he really feels the way he says he does. Ask him to question whether he'd be more likely to trust something you've said or his supposed friend said-who is he closer to?

Trust takes time, usually a lot of time. But I think a more important question to work on while you're earning his trust back is why you didn't just block this guy when he stepped over the line to begin with. Why didn't you just end the relationship then and there? What made you think you had to participate in an elaborate farce to keep this other man happy? How far would this have gone if it had not come to a head in this manner? What if this other guy would have shown up on your door-step when he knew you were alone? This is dangerous behavior to your own safety.

If you don't figure out why you did something you were uncomfortable and didn't want to do to begin with, it'll happen again. There's a much bigger problem than losing your boyfriend's trust.

Trust...I know all about that, time is a great healer, and it will take a lot of time to overcome this. When you break a trust, whether or not you meant to hurt someone, you did.

If he loves you, every day you are together, just be yourself and communicate. He has to know you love him, and there isn't anything you wouldn't do for him. I don't think you have to go as far as getting a new phone or SIM...new number is good enough.

As for what AAAAA said I agree totally...never put yourself in a situation like that. From the get you should have said WTF, leave me alone, I said no, and I mean it. I would have told my B/F right then and there, "Hey, your so called friend is hitting on me, get him off my back." You had proof with the texts, so it's not like he wouldn't believe you.

All in all, let time take it's course, if you were meant for each other, everything will eventually be ok.

GL and God bless!

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Originally Posted by AAAAA Trust takes time, usually a lot of time. But I think a more important question to work on while you're earning his trust back is why you didn't just block this guy when he stepped over the line to begin with. Why didn't you just end the relationship then and there? What made you think you had to participate in an elaborate farce to keep this other man happy? How far would this have gone if it had not come to a head in this manner? What if this other guy would have shown up on your door-step when he knew you were alone? This is dangerous behavior to your own safety. If you don't figure out why you did something you were uncomfortable and didn't want to do to begin with, it'll happen again. There's a much bigger problem than losing your boyfriend's trust.

I’ve always been too nice to say no to people…so in the beginning, before he ever brought up the whole sex thing, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by just ignoring him…and I did tell him to stop, he just wouldn’t..I don’t know what I was thinking…actually, I could honestly say I wasn’t thinking.

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Originally Posted by skymonk Couples counseling&why was this guy who supposedly was your bf's friend hitting on you or communicating w/you in the first place? Like the last responder-trust is hard to get back-I've lost trust when I didn't even do what I was accused of&no matter how much I tried to defend myself my bf wouldn't take my word for it. Find out what exactly your bf has in mind as far as how you can earn his trust back. Don't do anything that will degrade you-he'll just push you around if you do-but I see no harm in giving trying to re-unite, if he really feels the way he says he does. Ask him to question whether he'd be more likely to trust something you've said or his supposed friend said-who is he closer to?

Well, it’s not HIS friend..it’s an old ex-boyfriends. He already told me how to win his trust back, and I’m doing it (hopefully right). He means everything to me, and I really hate myself for messing up. I know nothing ever happened or was going to, but he doesn’t. So I can understand why he is upset and has lost trust.

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Originally Posted by valexand Give him your phone and tell him to break it, symbolically. You can get a new one. Or just throw away your SIM card from your phone. Do it in front of him as a way to prove how much he really means to you and that you would make any sacrifice. I don't know if trust can be fixed. Sometimes it can and other times it cannot. Give it a shot by talking to him and get a feeling on how things are going. Good luck.

Well, he has the password to mytmobile.com so he can look at my call logs and my text message logs. Things are going better but we still have a way to go…

you have lost my trust and you have disrespected me, we had agreed to work on our flaws and when we did so to choose to keep talking to matt. when i had asked you if i never caught you would you still be talking to him you said "i dont know". That means yes in my eyes. which means you had other intentions because he started talking about sex you obviously wanted it, eventually whether you say it or not....

There is no fast way to gain TRUST back.... it is up to the one that had their trust broken in the first place to determine when it is time.

Rekon and Sher...

Here's my advice - if you two love each other, go see a counselor, together. Fighting on the internet is not going to solve anything. As I have posted on your other post about being neglected Sher and Rekon, and you can see my opinions there, but that's all they are. I will leave it at that, but you guys need professional help, imho.

GL and God bless!