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Old Mar 11, 2009, 02:56 PM
marjan's Avatar
marjan marjan is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2007
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,156
I'm 35 years old and I really never had a good relationship...I'm divorced for three years which was my decision.....I would never wanted to get married with him.....

After my ex-husband, I met two guys, first one didn't last a week, the second one didn't last a months....and I didn't want any of them...they weren't right....then after two years of divorce, I met my ex-boyfriend...he was what I needed but he was seperated and having three kids and lots of issues....I loved him, he loved me back...It was great....after two months, we broke up because of me being constantly controling and jealous, even over him spending his time with his little kids....then I searched for job in California and interesting, we got back together....and we had so much passion...so much love again....and we were together another couple of months till I moved to Califronia....and for two months we had long distance relationship then we broke up.....
Then in July I went back there and had sex with him while he was building a new relationship with somebody else, but he told me he wants me, he even wanted to get married....but still I couldn't take the fact that he had three kids and living in Toronto while I wanted to live in California.....
Then after six month I met Aaron in Salsa club....he looked like my ex-boyfriend...but I didn't want to get involve with somebody in the club...and he asked my number...anyway....I gave him wrong number twice, but it wasn't intentionally, it was mistake, although the first time came to my mind to give him wrong number.....anyway, we start dating...and it was good...I really liked him, but I couldn't believe that he really likes me because he was acting differently in Salsa clubs and dance classes....I told him and I told him I want to break up after a months going out....he begged me to try again....he said lets tell everybody that we are girlfriend boyfriend....I accepted....in mean while I went back to Toronto and I slept with my ex-boyfriend again....I feel horrible....
anyway, I went back to California and start my relationship with my new boyfriend....but it looks like because I was a cheapter I was looking to see if he is a cheater....and I broke into his facebook, gmail...and didn't find anything even except that he was happy to have me!
then two Sunday's ago, we went to the Salsa club and I didn't like he was dancing and laughing with a new girl over there, I didn't tell him anything...I just told him that I want to leave, I'm tired....he gave business card to the girl...I know that was our teacher's biz card, and he told me without me asking him.....then he told me he will walk me to my home....and he did....I told him that he doesn't compremize at all....and I told him we haven't made that friendship yet, he said I'm your friend....I said no, if you were, you would have known that I'm tired and hongry and cranky! Then he stars fighting and told me lots of things, very unkind like it's not even fun dancing with you anymore...or...what else you want from me, I spend all my time with you....and I did't know what to say and he said he doesn't want to come to my place and he said he can walk away from me right now....
it was so hurtful...so hurtful....and I cried for four days....then the following Thursday he texted me that he's been sick and he can't make it to the dance class....I didn't have plan to go there....I didn't want to see him at all....I didn't reply him back....then Saturday he was going to ski trip which I knew....and he texted me saying that when he's back we should talk and he wants to be friends!
I don't know what to do really....I don't need a friend, I need a partner and both of us are 35 years old for god sake!
I don't know how to overcome on my jealousy or if it was right that I felt uncomfortable....I don't know....also, I believe in myself that I'm pretty and smart and I see lots of guys are after me....It's just me not having chimistry with them....but when I do have that feelings....then things go wrong....
It looks like I can't keep a relationship....I don't know what to do....
Please help me....I don't know what to tell him when he calls me and I can't take it if he wants to tell me oh we stay just as a friend....becuase I don't want that....I dont' know if he wants to build up the relationship based on our friendshiip or he just want to fool around?
Thanks for reading my lengthy question...

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  #2  
Old Mar 11, 2009, 03:42 PM
Sad In TX's Avatar
Sad In TX Sad In TX is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: OKC
Posts: 143
Hey there - I completely understand. What it looks to me like is that he simply cannot or will not make up his mind as to what he wants, and seems to be playing you. I really think that you are better off without him, and to have him constantly give you mixed signals must be heartbreaking and humiliating.

It is confusing that he says something about marriage and then is with someone else, which is why I can't help but think this is all sweet-talk so he can get a little nookie on the side.

I'm so sorry about all of this. It seems that some people don't grow out of their ways, or even learn from experiences. But you gotta know that you are worth more than this guy who is just stringing you along only to break your heart again. I would stop all contact with him, and if he really wants to be friends he'll understand that you can't see him for a while.

I know what it's like to be lonely, but I'd rather be alone than feeling like I'm being used. Been there - will never do it again.
__________________
Sad in TX Please help me....I do have relationship problem all the time....Please help me....I do have relationship problem all the time....
Thanks for this!
marjan
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