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#1
Apr 20, 2009, 08:35 PM
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I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year after finding out he was stealing from me and my family. I found out from his family that the reason why is he has been doing drugs for three years and has done rehab before.
I was not going to talk to him anymore, or have anything to do with him. Easier said then done right? Well he ended up texting me and I called him. This has been going on for a couple of days, (we broke up a week and half ago). Well we had a long talk last night and he says he is going to rehab again, and he is going for himself this time. He is going to go for the full time instead of just a week, and do the whole thing. He also was very honest with me and told me everything about his drug problems. He asked me if I would be his friend during this time of his life to help him get through this, of course we both have hopes of working through this and being together again. I'm really torn about this, because I want to believe that he is going to get better, and I do want to be there for him because I love him and care for him. But at the same time I don't want to get myself into a sticky situation and get hurt again if he starts using again. It is going to be hard for me to transition from girlfriend to "friend". If you have any suggestions please let me know!!! |
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#2
Apr 20, 2009, 09:20 PM
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I would say use extreme caution. I think however it is ok to be maybe phone friends with him but other than that I would not have alot to do with him. at least not until he can prove to you and others that he truely has changed. good luck with whatever you decide.
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#3
Apr 20, 2009, 09:52 PM
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I don't know how old you are or anything, but personally I think that sometimes we accept things in our lives because of our own weeknesses. I think it is important, however, to set up boundaries early in your life because otherwise we can end up in situations that were really preventable from the beginning. Our instincts told us that it was not a good situation (i.e., second guessing yourself by asking the question here because your want someone to agree with a bad decision), but somehow we talked ourselves into it anyway! I speak from experience and based on that experience I would have to ask you what to ask yourself what kind of life do you want to have? If you want a healthy life full of possibilities, then I think you should begin to surround yourself with healthy people and unfortunately that does not include your ex. Do yourself a favor and move on and begin to nuture yourself, you deserve better!
By the way, I did the same thing you are doing now. I came on here and asked if I should do something with my ex, everyone said no and I did it anyway...bottom line it turned out to be a disaster! We, however, have to learn for ourselves! Just trying to save you some heartache! Best Wishes, TJ 
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 Smooches! Hope you have a Beautiful, Blessed Day!Thyroid disorders can cause depression and can mimic bipolar disorder... Please read below regarding one form, hypothyroidism, and have your numbers checked...TSH, T3, T4, Free T3, Free T4, and Thyroid Antibodies (for Graves Disease and Hashimotos Disease (which mimics BP)
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#4
Apr 21, 2009, 10:31 AM
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If you have any doubts then please follow your heart for you're own sanity. Your exbf needs to learn how to be strong on his own. You still haven't dealt with what have happened within the relationship you've had with him so allow yourself to heal before you can his rock. Take care of yourself and be strong for yourself. He needs professional help and he's getting it for himself. He has his family to be his rock so please don't feel you have any responsibility to stand by his side. What you can do is to have caring and respectful conversation with him and tell him how you feel and you wish him well but you need to care and heal for yourself first so that you give yourself time to truly learn from this situation. Maybe after when he's done with rehab and healthy again you can try to be friends but right its is drugs that is running his life and you dont need that in your life.
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#5
Apr 21, 2009, 10:57 PM
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I say tell him no you won't be friends with him during this time. If he's truely doing it for himself & not for you, then he should need you for that. If he can get through the rehab totally on his own...then be there for him. He needs to complete that on his own |
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#6
Apr 22, 2009, 01:24 AM
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That's really a tough situation....but I just want to tell you one thing....a guy is in a drug...drug is the first thing in his life that's why he's even stealing....he would do anything to get the drug!!!! I don't know which kind of drugs he's in....he got to be so strong to get over it....which it's usually rare!!! it's been a year that you were with him and it should be so hard for you to not take care of him....but take care of yourself and your emotion frist....you are better off without a guy who is in drugs....I know it's so hard for you, but stay strong....you can help him, but don't get too envolved! good luck |
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#7
Apr 27, 2009, 11:36 AM
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thanks everyone for the comments!!! He is in rehab right now, he took it upon himself to go, his family didn't even know he went until they called the center. He can't call me or anything now, which is great because he needs to do this on his own. I made up rules that he has to follow if he wants to be a part of my life, and if broken I am done being his friend.
Thanks again!!! |
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