so maybe I work too much...

ok, so my wife and I get into this heated argument about my "living" at work and no balance in my life

since taking over my fathers business back in 1997, I have had a total of less than 15 days vacation in that time period (12 years)

2 days on a college field trip to Harlan County KY... yee haw!

3 days on a college field trip to D.C.....

1 or 2 days missed for funerals for uncles and cousins

1 day missed due to 23" snow...couldnt find my truck to go to work

and 4 days worked in around holiday weekends to make 2 trips to Panama City Beach

maybe 1 sick day....

she says it fuels my overall mental health and why im so irritable

any thoughts?

Do YOU feel you have balance, do YOU feel you are irritable?

irritable - yes

balance - no

guess I adhere to the good ole' Western civilization philosophy that "your work is your life"

If I were your wife, I would feel pretty neglected and "second class citizen" being married to a guy who said his work was his life. I would be thinking, "where am I in all of this? Am I not his life too?" I would also feel deprived because my H wouldn't go on vacation with me. Does your wife go on vacation by herself or with friends or family? I hope she gets some time off even if you won't take it. She may need it for her mental health. Not everyone is happy being a workaholic. In the waning years of my marriage, I began taking separate vacations from my H. I would go off to visit friends in other parts of the country and have a great time. It was wonderful being away from him and having fun. Sometimes I did feel like, "hey, he should be here with me, don't most "normal" couples enjoy vacations together?" but I'd shrug it off. It can get lonely in a marriage sometimes.

Anyway, I think I'm trying to say, Brian, beware. This may be causing or contributing to problems in your marriage, problems that may not be discernible yet.

Good post I totaly agree with what you are saying....

Do you know what drives you to work so hard and so long? Sometimes I use things to avoid dealing with other things. It works for a while, but for me, once I finally decide to stop and deal, it helps a lot of other areas in my life too.

If I am always busy, I don't have to think about the fact that I have no peace in my brain. The catch is that the thing I want most is peace in my brain.

I don't know that this is relevant to you, but just thought I'd throw it out there.

its very hard when you take over a biz. When it was your Dads even harder.
Sometimes I think as I did I worked so hard to make sure I made them proud.
Of course 57 hours a week was a little much. I was blessed I could have my kids there.
To do over again...as i like biz. I would never put that many hours in again.
Remember brain you only get one chance to be with your kids they grow up..
If you love your wife and it sounds like you do. Take some time off be with her.
Life is way to percious ..
Wanttoheal is right too.,

Yes, take time off... a couple of weeks ... Brian, that means putting your days in a string, all together, lol.

Go take that precious family somelace special, and make some time to so something romantic with your wife, who is still at your side... helping you to make things happen.

Be her sweetheart again ~

ahhhh... how happy that will make everyone!

Peace and Romance
Night

Every response makes sense to me. Good luck Brian

Brian do you have kids?

If so I had a dad who was a workaholic and I know the pain of having a dad who was a workaholic. My advice to you would be to take a vacation and leave the cellphone at home and don't check in with the office just to see what is going on. Make your vacation all about your family.

Jan

Hi Brian, life ends, work doesn't. When you work so much are you trying to avoid life?????????? Workaholicism (????) is an addiction to avoid your feelings just like every other addiction.

Hi Brian

My father wasn't a business owner, but he was a company man through and through. He was devoted to his job and traveled a lot, but he also managed to find the time to spend with his wife and children. I'm a little ticked he instilled such a strong work ethic in me, especially now that I'm disabled and no longer able to work. It feels like the word "Useless" has been stamped on my forehead. It took a long time for me to realize my identity was not based solely on the job I performed in life. There is so much more.

My father is gone now. He provided for me, but it's not about the material comfort and goods he gave me. I'm so thankful for the time he gave me because I'm able to draw on that strength when I'm overly burdened.

My husband is grateful to have known my dad too. When he's overly burdened in his job, with life, and in playing the role of sole caregiver for me, he's able to draw on dad's strength and continue to love and cherish the life he's been given - including me.

I'd hate to see you work yourself into a hole and end up looking like me - with a "Useless" stamp on your forehead. I know you have obligations to your family that takes you away from them. I hope you can find the balance you need to give you the time to enjoy what it is you are working so hard to protect.

somewhere there is a balance...I havent found it yet

im happiest at work...but also the most depressed...if that makes sense

its a bitter sweet pill , without digging to deep I have just 1 suggestion

reoutline your business plan if you place value on your wifes concerns

there is always room for improvements in any business, and you should be able to bring some of your work home possibly, though this may not be the answer

modern technology is so advanced I have noticed that alot if not most very successful businesses have absentee owners, though usually that absentee fact is also the weakest link of the company in this economy....go figure

you should be able to manage some time in, or you might be micro managing your own company I do understand the fragile nature of business, I am not saying this is what you are doing, but it is comman in very small business and part of the reason they stay small imo

though alot prefer it that way

do you have someone you trust in the business to stand in for you, hire temps whatever this is common now

but unless your wife is just a nag, ......life is just temp