sent an email to my husbands parents (LONG BUT PLEASE READ if not easilly triggered)

I'm moving in with my husband's parents because we cant afford our apartment anymore. I wrote a nice long e-mail to his mom so that she understands my condition. I'm posting it here, just to see what other people think about the e-mail. Did I cover everything? Etc.

Here we go:
I'm sending you an e-mail with some links as well as some information about my mental illness.
The best way to try and understand it is research. But I'll save you the hassle of that and just explain it here.

First off, my technical diagnosis is as follows:

Schizoaffective Disorder is characterized by the presence of one of the following:

• Major Depressive Episode (must include depressed mood)
• Manic Episode
• Mixed Episode

As well as the presence of at least two of the following symptoms, for at least one month:

• Delusions
• Hallucinations
• Disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence)
• Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior
• Negative symptoms (e.g., affective flattening, alogia, avolition)

(Only one symptom is required if delusions are bizarre or hallucinations consist of a voice keeping up a running commentary on the person's behavior or thoughts, or two or more voices conversing with each other.)
The occurrence of the delusions or hallucinations must be in the absence of any serious mood symptoms for at least 2 weeks. The mood disorder, however, must be present for a significant minority of the time. The symptoms of this disorder also can not be better explained by the use or abuse of a substance (alcohol, drugs, medications) or a general medical condition (stroke).


A major depressive episode is not a disorder in itself, but rather is a description of part of a disorder, most often major depressive disorder or bipolar disorder. A person who suffers from a major depressive episode must either have a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities consistently for at least a 2 week period. This mood must represent a change from the person's normal mood; social, occupational, educational or other important functioning must also be negatively impaired by the change in mood. A major depressive episode is also characterized by the presence of 5 or more of these symptoms:

• Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feeling sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). (In children and adolescents, this may be characterized as an irritable mood.)
• Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day
• Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.
• Insomnia (inability to sleep) or hypersomnia (sleeping too much) nearly every day
• Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day
• Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day
• Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day
• Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

A manic episode is not a disorder in and of itself, but rather is a part of a type of bipolar disorder.
A manic episode is characterized by period of time where an elevated, expansive or notably irritable mood is present, lasting for at least one week. These feelings must be sufficiently severe to cause difficulty or impairment in occupational, social, educational or other important functioning and can not be better explained by a mixed episode. Symptoms also can not be the result of substance use or abuse (e.g., alcohol, drugs, medications) or caused by a general medical condition. Three or more of the following symptoms must be present:

• Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
• Decreased need for sleep (e.g., one feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
• More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
• Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
• Attention is easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant items
• Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
• Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)

People who experience a manic episode are often diagnosed with a type of bipolar disorder.


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Schizoaffective is basically a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
I am very stable and on medications that work, so any of these symptoms are rare (for the most part) for me. I still hallucinate sometimes, but nothing scary (I'm used to it.) and I get "voices" sometimes. As it was stated in the schizoaffective section, "(Only one symptom is required if delusions are bizarre or hallucinations consist of a voice keeping up a running commentary on the person's behavior or thoughts, or two or more voices conversing with each other.)"

That is what I have.
I do also get delusional, which is probably the biggest sign that something is not right. If I act paranoid, nervous, etc - I may become delusional. What happens then I don't know, I don't remember when I'm delusional or psychotic.

It's hard and quite scary for others to witness, but there really isn't much I can do about it. As far as dealing with my mental illness, the best way is to just try and understand.
I do have support if I need it, I belong to a forum for various mental illnesses, and it's really helpful.
I also have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) which means basically the changing of the seasons bother me. Shorter days cause me to be depressed, etc. I also have a "happy light" that emits the same rays as the sun that I can turn on if I need to. It helps pretty well.

I also am very aware if I need to check myself into a hospital, and so that's not too much of a worry - if I need to, or if I don't feel safe, I will check myself in.

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And, finally - here is a list of my medications and what they are and how much I take.
Geodon (anti psychotic) - 320 mg at night (4 pills)
Lamictal or Lamotrigine (mood stabilizer) - 200 mg at night (2 pills)
Zoloft or sertraline(antidepressant) - 1 1/2 pills at night (I forget the mg)
Cogentin or benztropine (for the side effects of my other medications) - 2 pills at night (I forget the mg on that too)
Welbutrin or burpropion (another antidepressant) - 150 mg in the morning (1 pill)
Vyvanse (for ADD) - 70 mg in the morning (1 pill)

If you're curious about the side effects I mentioned briefly, here is what they are:
Constant movement of my mouth, chapped lips, and tight jaw. This gets kinda weird, as well - if I am tired or need my congentin, I will sometimes mouth the same words that you are saying at practically the same time. It's kinda creepy, but I really cant help it - and I'm often unaware that it is happening.

Also, I will rock back and forth sometimes and I will flex and unflex my feet until it hurts.

It's kinda embarrasing, but... not much you can do.
My closest friends all have mental conditions - Kelly, who is schizoaffective like I am, Becca who is rapid cycling bipolar, Emma who has borderline personality disorder, and Becca's boyfriend Tim that also has borderline. They are a great support.


Thats all I can pretty much think of right now.
I am very open about my mental condition, so I really don't mind if you ask me questions about it.



Let me know if this is enough information for you.




ANY INPUT would be great!

Hey there!

I think this is a great letter and really will help them to understand more about you. It is very educational. Good work.

If they are not fully aware of your disorders, I would suggest giving them a few days to digest this letter, because it has a lot of info it. They may need to hang on to it so they can refer back to it from time to time.

I am sorry that you and your husband are seeing difficult times financially, it is not fun and is quite stressful.

Please take good care...

I think you are very brave!!

This is a very informative letter. But I'm wondering what effect it will have on your in-laws? How close are you with them? How many times have you met? Does your husband have any mental health problems?

If they really do not know much about you, and you are moving in with them, this letter could be really scary. Especially if they don't much about ANY kind of mental illness.

If you know them better and see them fairly often, and you have a gut feeling that they will understand this letter in the sense it's meant, it could be a very good way of starting a conversation about your mental health needs and what everyone can expect while living together.

If they barely know you, like I said, it could cause them some alarm. Also if you don't know them but are sending this letter hoping that they will understand YOU, that they will accept you and your mental illness, you may be sadly surprised to find out that their feeling is it's YOUR problem and don't bother them with it. They may feel that just by letting you live with them they are doing enough. And they don't want to be bothered by having to put up with anything else.

Maybe, if you haven't already, talk to your husband about this. Show him the letter and see what he thinks. If you have to live with them, you don't want to start things off on the wrong foot. This may be a very comfortable situation for you, depending on what kind of people your in-laws are. It could also be very uncomfortable and stressful for you living there, you can't expect everyone to understand or be sympathetic about your mental illness unfortunately. If you had cancer, you'd be showered with kindness and understanding. Not always true when you have a mental illness. At least that's been my experience. More people don't understand than do. I hope your in-laws are enlighted, loving and understanding people.

I think the letter is a great way for you to enlighten Chris's parents. I think that should help them to understand. I wonder how they took it? I love you!!!

IMHO that was perfect. My wife had been told she had this, she had that, 'til finally she was DX'd with PTSD, and now it all fits. I did all the research I could, found her a therapist who does EMDR among other things, and the best of all, I understand why she does what she does, so my fears are all but allayed. I think you did a great thing here!

I think the e-mail was great. It was very thoughtful of you to send all the info about your illnesses to them so they will know thatou havea disorder instead of thinking something worse (my in-laws actually thought I was on drugs) Good luck because sometimes in-laws can be hard to live with even in the best of situations. I am sure they will be appriciative of you taking the time out to write and e-mail you symptoms and will welcome you.

I often wonder how many of my isssues could actually be attributed to PTSD.