Rejection Sensitivity

I meant desensitization above... when talking about ellis... Also regarding projection. I think there are 2 kinds of uses of the word (at least)... Projection of the sort that when I am angry and I know I am angry I will tend to see others as angry.... And also the projection defense psychology talks of where we tend not to be aware of the drive or feeling in ourselves that we then project onto others And for Rejection (again in ken wilber no boundary) as symptom -- translating this back to its original shadow form = "Iwouldnt give them the time of day". For the symptom of "withdrawn" the original shadow form that we are hiding from ourselves is "I'll push you away". For hatred (ie I despise you for X) original shadow form= autobiographical gossip (I hate X in myself) . For envy (your so great) ---- original shadow form = I am better than I know... Though I don't think this covers all sensitivity to rejection... I do think there is a learned shame etc. response here or whatever... Its just biology and a mechanical reaction... We can work with it... It says nothing really about us... ITs just a condition in life we need to work with... thats all.. I just speak the truth to myself so I can see myself better disidentify with any problems or entanglements like rejection sensitivity and sit with it until I creatively integrate it into a whole dynamic living... This is the challenge I have been accepting recently. Also as far as people who reject .. The people I am open with are the sort of people who are open to all and working for all for the highest good in all individually and for all societies of individuals... There is a whole spectrum of development that each person traverses in life... See spiral dynamics see developmental psychology etc... Well someone at lower stages of development tend to have either egocenric or sociocentric in groups and out-groups... Obviously children are generally at these lower waves of development and therefore hurt each other (rejecting ect.)... Well now as adults I believe we need to overcome these problems that were laid down or conditioned from our growing up days... Really need to balance our autonomy and assertion with our communions for there to be health... And this can be really just not hanging with people who tend to be rejecting... It says volumes about them that they behave as such... A developmental psychologist would pick them apart with ease and give no ground to their rejections... This is healthy self-assertion and I believe humans need to learn and live wise healthy self assertion in the face of this world.... Developmental psychology, ken wilber etc has helped me enormously in this regard... understanding is power...

Hi Yinperson,

It took me a while to read your posts, as they are so full of useful information. I picked out a couple of things:

'hanging with people who tend to be rejecting' - Yes, who needs it. I wasted years on that useless occupation; not now though.

'attentional bias for rejection' - spot on, some call it 'filtering for negatives'. More wasted years; not now though (but the habit tends to return if we are not careful)

Thanks yinperson.

Cheers, Myzen.