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#1
Apr 15, 2009, 11:28 PM
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My husband and I have been married for 12 years. Early on I would try to talk which would change to venting then yelling, screaming and raging. He would shut down and not say a word which just infuriated me. I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and my emotions finally made some sense, but we have lost the abilty to communicate and to listen. We have tried couples counceling, but I know that if neither one of us is willing to change the way we talk we are going no where fast. What do you do? What can I do? He says he is willing to work on it, but he hasn't made a move towards seeking help. I have bought books, but he won't read them. It is always up to me. I feel that I always am making the decisions on what we do, where we go, what we eat. I'm tired of making all the choices. Help!
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#2
Apr 17, 2009, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
you are talking about either of you to change....why don't you start from yourself? little by little....try to see how you can communicate with him better....read more book about this...good counsular will work too...but you got to find it.... good luck Marjan |
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#3
Apr 19, 2009, 03:24 AM
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 gosh.. are all husbands unable to make simple decisions on what to do, where to go, what to eat? haha. Just kidding. I go through this with my husband daily.  I agree with Marjan. Maybe if you start trying to change yourself, he will see that you are going out of your comfort zone and making an effort to change and to make your relationship and situation better. Try to change the way you talk to him and when he yells at you, just calmly tell him to stop. Don't join in and yell back. It's hard, but I've seen my mom do it with my dad and it's worked. She always tried to change him and make him do things but he never did ANYTHING until he saw that she began changing herself. Good luck
__________________
 You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes
Well you just might find You get what you need |
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#4
Apr 19, 2009, 03:36 AM
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Your story sounds very similar to many stories I have heard from other females and from my own life at times and what I have come with is that many men do not like to talk about their wrongs in a relationship as it leaves them feeling like a failure (a mans worse fear - is being a failure) therefore, one must talk their partner with out it coming across as you are wrong or you need to change this or that.... I pass my ((( hugs ))) along to you for I know this is no easy task.
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