learning to love...

is it possible even after being married almost eleven years, that I have truly never learned to "love" my wife?

sounds stupid, but I am not opening up to her and sharing my soul

it has come up in therapy, but still feel im hiding from her

my wife says she feels alone a lot...we live together but somehow live apart

ugh....

I have lived with depression and fear and anxiety most of my life, but why I am hiding things from her?

if you can Brian open up and share with her.
start slow if you need too.
maybe your hiding for fear she will think different. plus i think its harder for guys to open up.
something started years ago. that if you opened up you were not a guy.
trust me if she says she feels alone thats how she feels
sounds like shes trying to reach you.....
like shes reaching a hand to you.....reach your hand to her...
it will take time.... but it sounds like you love her

It is harder for men to open up than it is for women. Perhaps you're thinking she'll think of you as weak or less of a man if you do but that is not true. Women need verbal assurances of continuing love, along with frequent acts of tenderness from the person they are with, this shows a personal interest that would help to promote a truly satisfying marriage for the both of you because your wife will feel loved and appreciated if you open up your heart and confide in her, that is what every woman wants, to feel like she matters and is the most important thing in a man's life. Your wife feels lonely because you hold back. Vocalizing your personal feelings in a frank and winning manner will do much more to improve your marriage than does remaining silent and sullen. I can understand why you feel the way you do and why you guard you heart because I've done it too, but you have to have the courage to let down your walls and embrace that vulnerability that comes with being in love.

I wish you both the best.