[Monty_girl]

My husband and I sleep in different rooms. We have for 2 years now. We don't have problems with our relationship and everything is fine in the romance department as well. No issues. But my family makes an issue of it. My sister and mother think we are making a hugh mistake having our own rooms. I don't work so I sleep longer, hubby doesn't wake me up with his alarm. I snor like crazy and hubby can't get any sleep with my noise, so it just works out better with our own rooms. So why can't my family keep the comments to themselves? It's not a problem for us. In fact our relationship is better since we both are getting better sleep. Is there a problem that maybe I'm not seeing?

[salukigirl]

I think the most important thing is that you both feel that youre comfortable with it. Everyone has to have alone time and time to themselves and it doesn't really matter when that happens. Ive read several studies that show women sleep better without a partner. And just from my own personal experience I can tell you that, when my boyfriend stays over for several days in a row, I don't get a good night's sleep at all. He moves around and talks in his sleep and wakes me up a few times everynight lol.

It's really none of their business how you guys run your marriage anyway but I can see them being concerned. But, as I'm sure you know, families are always in your business no matter what so it's to be expected I think. So my advice would be, if you and your husband talk it out and are both sure that it doesn't indicate any problems then just put your foot down. The next time someone says something you have to be firm and say that whatever makes your marriage healthier is what you have to do, and if this does it then so be it.

To get some alone time my boyfriend and I go to the gym but we work out in different areas so that we have a few hours to ourselves to do what we want, and working out relaxes us both so that's what we do. And I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that would say "why would you go together but not be there together?" and, well, that's none of their business. It's a way for us to feel together but still have time to ourselves and what you're doing is no different. And if you both are satisfied with your sex lives then I don't see a problem. Some people are just very independent and there's nothing wrong with that. Consider yourself lucky that you and your husband have the same feelings on it because I think, in this type of situation, almost always, one of the people involved would have a problem with it so that's good that you're both on the same page.

So just put your foot down and be firm and let them know that if there was anything going on, they would know about it.

[bebop]

I think it is fine as long as your relationship is still strong hon. no need for them to even know you are in different rooms. just tell them it is really none of their business and move on. I think it is a great idea actually! you snore and he gets up early. seems perfect to me

Tell them to concentrate on their own relationships and leave yours alone ! Its nothing to do with them what you do !

[Capp]

Monty_girl,
Jme, but telling them, "Our personal life is not open for discussion." Then change the topic, if they try asking again, say excuse me, then get a drink of water, go to the bathroom...
it won't take long for them to get the idea.
Jmo, it's none of their business

Cap

[thunderbear]

Monty, it's none of anyone's business what you all do. I wish I had my own room sometimes lol. He moves too much in his sleep and I snore really loudly.

[marjan]

Don't let them to get into your life.....I'm a terrible sleeper, but I really want to sleep with my partner in the same bed, it feels more intimate....
my ex husband used to snore like crazy, I couldn't sleep and we were sleeping apart....but that caused us to get really seperated....we barely had sex and then we start fighting....well...it ended up getting divorced....
I think that's why your family is concern....because they don't know about your intimacy part....since yours is fine, then sleeping in seperate room is good for you.....what makes you and your partner happy is count, not what makes others happy!!!!
and why did you tell them that you are sleeping in seperate rooms in first place?

[thelionkinglives]

Wow, the concensus seems to be unanimus!!! I agree withy what everybody else says. If you two are secure with arrangement, it's really none of there business.

Although my wife & I don't have seperate rooms. I spend alot of time sleeping downstairs on the couch for a variety of issues...
1. my oldest daughter is the only one sleeping down stairs & because of my life issues, I feel more comfortable sleeping by the door. I feel like it puts me in the best position should someone break in to protect my family.
2. My wife gets alot of sinus infections & snores so it keeps me awake.
3. I sometimes have violent dreams & either moan loudly or kick or omething. One time I elbowed her really hard...I felt aweful.
So I pay attention to my mood at bed time. If I'm worried about it being an issue that night, I'll sleep on the couch...

If you guys are happy with your arrangement that's all that matters

[salukigirl]

Ive been bowed in the face by my boyfriend before. Not fun! Also, he has some pretty crazy dreams and, if he's holding me, he'll start tightening his entire upper body and practically crushes me without ever knowing it!

[Rhapsody]

I think it is fine as long as the relationship is going strong other wise.... just try your best to ignore your families comments and if nothing else tell them its none of their business - and do it straight to their face.

[jbug]

My parents have had separate bedrooms for about 25 years and their marriage is as strong as ever. Their rooms are across the hall from each other and they don't sleep together because each one of them has sleep apnea that went undiagnosed for years and they would keep each other up all night so when we moved into our house we had before moving to Arkansas they moved to separate bedrooms. It brought a lot of peace in our house when they decided to do that.

Jan

[Monty_girl]

Thank You all for the resurance. Their comments were making me second guess myself. My husband and I have been together for 19 years, married for 15. We have a wonderful supportive relationship. Besides snoring, I end up with 2 cats on the bed with me every night. My husband also likes to have the radio on at night. I can't sleep with heavy metal going at night, LOL, it just aint happening. They seem to make comments when they visit and see 2 bedrooms being used when there is just the 2 of us. I like having my own room and own bed. I grew up really poor and never had my own room or bed for that matter. I don't sleep well so I'm up a lot at night and it's nice just to watch my TV or read if I want and not wake him up.

Hey and my husband has the "Jimmy Legs" as well. Drives me crazy, I get comfy and his legs start going.

Thanks everyone!