I'ts been a while

I'ts been so long since I've been in a relationship......and sometimes I feel I am just living in the wake of every girl I ever loved or had the slightest crush on........WHY, they all just tossed me away like trash, I dont think i could ever love again..........and getting back out there is near impossible but one day maybe i dont fing know........seems hopeless...im tired of it....but.....just be alone.....forever....(grabs head) makes no sense......there must be someone for me somewhere.....i keep thinking i could have been more for them, i could have been more, done more,anything........its been 7 years since my last romance and I am embaressed and ashamed.........its pathetic.....and im pathetic........just need help....advice.....??????

Dove, I feel a lot like you. My story is very similar. Sometimes I think I am addicted to rejection. If there was a woman who was real and honestly interested in me I would either run from her or sabatoge the relationship, usually subconsciously. I spent so much time looking for love with the wrong women. Ones who were only going to hurt and reject me in the end. I still find myself with that problem today, but I'm not giving up. Don't you either. You are so young. I hope you have a therapist to help you to heal your pain. Hang in there.

yeah.....therapy would be could....but no one is offering it to me........they want to wait till my medication stabalizes then who knows how long after that........

Shouldn't be too long dove, keep reminding them that you want help as soon as you can.