[thunderbear]

My husband is the most loving and supportive person I know. I just dont think he understands my PTSD and OCD. He trid to be supportive but sometimes I think I get on his nerves. Like last night we were talking abuot the swine flu and other viruses and I have an odd obsession about me getting AIDS. My cousin worked at a chicked retsteraunt and one of the girls ther had HIV. Me and my husband was talking about Aids and i told him I thought it was man made and how it must of been a bio terrorism wepon gone wrong. Then I got to thinking about that girl at the chicken place and freaked out because what if she accidently sweatted and some got on my food there and I got AIDS. So I wanted to goget tested and he loooked at me like I was crazy.I know intelectually you can't get AIDS through sweat but my OCD tells me you can get it through any fluid off of the body. My husband then said "Chris if you got AIDS 4 years ago, then I would've tested + for it when they did tested me for it while trying to diagnosed my crohns." I don't get it. I know he is just trying to calm my fears but at the same time he says itis irrational to think that way.

[babydaddy]

Not that any of this is funny, but the funny thing is that OCD isn't rational. If it soothes your OCD to do something harmless, or even smart, like getting HIV tests every so often, then you ought to do it I think. It's not like it can hurt you and it's not like you'd be defying your husband by doing that.

My wife and I both have some minor OCD. She can't leave the house without checking that the stove is off, and cannot leave with the dryer running. She also has to bolt the door closed, even if I'm just walking down the hall to toss the garbage down the chute. None of these things is worth making a big deal about because they are harmless.

For me, I have OCD tendencies that give me something akin to an allergic reaction to cardboard boxes and newspapers. I absolutely cannot touch a newspaper. And cardboard boxes make my skin crawl. I hate them. When we got married and then had a baby, I dreaded getting gifts because they always arrived in filthy cardboard boxes. I carry the empty boxes to the dumpster like they're full of dirty diapers. Then I have to wash my hands, forearms, and face well to feel normal again. It's weird and annoying, but really not a big deal or harmful.

So...I'd say - give yourself a break. Being a germ-o-phobe isn't really a problem until you become a shut-in like Howard Hughes. If you get to that point, you probably want to seek professional help. But short of that, you're not crazy or irrational. Being careful to avoid germs is ultimately a good thing. When your husband says it's irrational, well, he's not wrong. He's just being a bit insensitive. I think it's fair to say 'hey, give me a break. I'm OCD about this. Better that I desperately want to avoid disease than have an obsessive need to run naked in the streets or bite the heads off live snakes.' That's the kind of extreme perspective that can permeate even the thickest of male skulls (being male, feel qualified to say this...).

[Rhapsody]

((( HUGS )))

I understand as I have DID and my husband still does not grasp the hold it has over me and my life.....