[Rhapsody]

I had a bad resonation in my life lately (you can read about it in the depression section) and now I find that I am having to deal with hate feelings toward everyone that has greatly done me wrong.... even of my so called loved ones, and especially toward my old grumpy husband of twenty three years.



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[Vlo1980]

Hi!

I hope you get over those feelings because you'll be hurting yourself if you give in to bitterness and resentment. Forgiving the people who have wronged you doesn't mean that you condone or minimize what they have done. Resentment is a heavy burden to carry; it can consume your thoughts, and rob you of peace. Actually you're allowing the offending person to control your emotions, that's why it is necessary to forgive others, or let go of the resentment, not only for their benefit but also for your own so that you may get on with your life. You may have little or no control on how other people act toward you but you can control your reaction to it. If they aren't people you can trust, avoid them but don't hate them.

Peace!

[sky dancer]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

I had a bad resonation in my life lately (you can read about it in the depression section) and now I find that I am having to deal with hate feelings toward everyone that has greatly done me wrong.... even of my so called loved ones, and especially toward my old grumpy husband of twenty three years.



Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

It may help you to learn the difference between rage and anger. My therapist has been teaching me this.

Rage is related to violation and to being trapped and helpless. It is NOT helpful to express rage. What helps rage is to heal the underlying hurt, abandonment depression and abandonment rage. My therapist is slowly helping me do with by reducing the charge of certain memories which get triggered in the present.

Anger is healthy and appropriate to express. It clears the air, it points to the truth of how things are and in relationships worthy of your energy, working through conflict helps you grow by leaps and bounds.

Some people are not worth working it out with--it's best to not associate with them and accept your limitations.

This is a current lesson for me now in my own life.

It helps to have your loved ones remind you--that they are NOT your perpetrators--and that they care for you as a human being.

If your friends and loved ones judge you harshly for your anger, and if they punish you and shame and blame you, it takes longer to heal.

We all need healthy corrections--especially those of us who grew up parented by total incompetents.

I have seen my own therapist get through to me in a loving manner, and I have benefited from three friends who helped me work through a very difficult time.

The work is on-going for a lifetime. There is no relax and eat bon bons if you've been abused.

Take care of yourself,

sky

[Rhapsody]

I am feeling better tonight.... the time needed to regain my strength and love that was lost from the awful resonation from three days ago is over and I am seeing smiles but once again... I know the hate was never real just brought about from old wounds & fears.... classic case of PTSD.