introvertedness

why do people have such a problem with people being introverted...they think its weird or they say you are too shy,,,,that's what my boss told me and I quit because he thought i couldn't do my job properly but I could...I just don't understand...I feel often that people dislike me because I am introverted....one girl told me...why are you so shy....don't be...please say something....I was completely offended and felt judged...I do talk...but when i have the energy and want to....I wish people would have an open mind and realise that i am a person with feelings and things to offer as well

Maybe it's because most people want everyone to be the same. The moment you claim to be introverted, or shy as they call it, you're obviously different from the rest of them. I have the same issue with my family, they happen to think that because I'm introverted I'm somehow abnormal and they want to force me back into "normality". I actually believe it's because people are afraid of what they don't know. So they just push introverted people to make them be like the others. Whatever that means. Each and everyone of them has an idea about how they would like everyone to be.

I think it's sad. Different people means different things to learn from each other, so I see it as a good thing. Too bad I'm only one and nobody believes me. Hang in there

Hi Myoasis89,
I think some people have trouble understanding shy people and they misinterpret the shyness - as you don't like them and that's why they want you to change, so they'll feel more comfortable. If you're happy being introverted then that's okay. When I was a child up to 22 yrs., I was painfully shy and didn't like the way, it held me back. People used to think I was stuck up, but actually I was just scared. I learned to manage my shyness, but I would still call myself introverted though. AS long as you're comfortable with it, then don't care what they say.

Hi Lynn,

I think Shyness and being Introverted are not necessarily the same things, though they are often related. I say this because THERE ARE SHY EXTROVERTS too!!

From my understanding of introversion (and I happen to be one... an EXTREME one, lol) is that an introvert is someone who is mostly stimulated by things rather than by people.

Another way to look at is:

Extroverts are sort of like solar panels and Introverts are sort of like rechargeable batteries.

What I mean by that analogy is that Extroverts need to be around people on a frequent & regular basis in order to feel happy and energized. Introverts on the other hand, only need to be around others for a little bit, before they feel the need to retreat and be by themselves.

I know in my own experience as introvert, if I spend too much time around other people (and it doesn't take much for an extreme introvert like me, lol), I begin to feel over stimulated... and that's when I know I need my solitude, lol.

BTW... I am not a shy introvert by any means. I have no problems starting or engaging in conversations with people. I just don't need, nor want conversation or the opportunity to socialize as frequently as an extrovert.

For me... when it comes to socializing... hanging out with friends or family once or twice a month is enough to keep me happy ... any more than that, and well it's just too much and I start to crave my solitude.

I agree, often times shyness is misinterpreted and people can react negatively towards you. I've never figured out how to address that, hopefully someone will come along and have some suggestions. I know how difficult it can be, especially for me to start conversations with people and feel at ease with that process.

You always have such great advice Peppermint! I've always been an introvert but managed to somehow contain that in my "exterior" life. I've always enjoyed being around people that I know, but found it difficult to get to know new people. I remember in high school people thought that I was stuck up until they got to know me and then they would comment on how easy going and nonstuckup I was...lol... For some of us the socializing can be a challenge, for others like my dd and her father, they are at their best when around people.. Of course, they are both only children and I am the oldest of 6!

TJ