I told my therapist!

I told my therapist I had a crush on her. We did not talk much in therapy about it, but it became apparent to her that my feelings for her were getting in the way of my therapy, she got rid of me and gave me to another therapist.

I am devistated, she is the first mental health porfessional I opened up to and trusted. I have been sucidal, and I am being admitted to a day hospital program this Friday.

I thought I was suppose to be honest with her and I was. I am so hurt, I can't stand it. I know my new therapist a bit thru a group she taught, I like her, I just don't know how to open up with her.

My new therapist and old one said I crossed professional boundaries, such as leaving too many long messages on their phones etc.

I get that but I know I could have continued therapy with her and she would have helped me. She said she was doing what was best for me and it was unethical for continue therapy with me.

I am still being diagnosed. my doctors know I have anxiety and depression. But I might have OCD and BPD as well.

I something else too. My therapist and I only live about 6 or 7 blocks from each other, so to get some comfort or something I drove past her house a couple of times. I know this is not normal, but I was honest with her.

I would be devistated if she ever thought I would do something to put her in jepordy, I would not. I told her that. She said she knows I am a good person and that she felt her privacy was invaded, but she never felt her personal safety threatend by me. which is good because I adore her, I really do and I would never do anything to hurt her.

So I made a promise to her last week that I would only drive down her road if it was for a legit reason, like on my way to the bank or something etc. As much as I have been hurting and leaving messages, I have kept my promise out of repsect to her. I want to prove to her I care and that I don't ever want to make her uncomfortable.

I still lost her as my therapist though. I know she cares, I do and wants what's best for me, but I am so hurt. I feel like I am heartbroken and I have never really been inlove or had a real relationship yet in my life.

I feel like I truly fell head over heels for her. There are alot of therapists and doctors that are not always good people, just like the rest of the world. But she is truly one the best people I have ever met. She is kind, considerate, really see's a person, smart and has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met and yes she is beautiful, but that's only a small part of her, she is so much more than her beauty.

My new therapist said not to call her anymore and that she would not be calling me back when I leave messages. I just want to be able to talk to her, just once in a while and say hey. This idea of being comletely cut off hurts so, so, so much!

Anyone out there been thru this and got over it?

I sent my therapist a letter once, I had wirtting a short storie but was having a great deal of time getting the editing right, I was so frustrated that I was about to just delete it out of frustration. I sent her a copy basicly for safe keeping, she called me a bit worried, after reading your post I think that maybe she felt I was crossing some sort of line.
I have never called my therapist except to change appointments, I don't remember her ever telling me not to but I know that it is something that she wouldn't appriciate.
I know I would be devastated if she stoped seeing me as a paitent.
I hope that you can put this hurt behind you.

(((((((tasha)))))))

I think you were brave to tell her about your crush, and that kind of thing shouldn't be a deal-breaker in therapy.

That was strange, her statement that you're the one bound by professional conduct. You're not -- you're the client. The client should be allowed to do and say pretty much anything in therapy, outside of:

- physically attacking the therapist

- making a threat

- going into full-on stalker mode

It sounds to me that you were just turning to her for help. Leaving a long message on her phone, if she gave you the number, doesn't really cross the boundary line -- unless the content was negative or threatening.

If this is all there was to your behavior and there wasn't a pattern of aggression toward your T, this sounds like an over-reaction on your T's part. But apparently she felt uncomfortable, and I suppose it's her right to terminate with you.

But it does do damage, and I feel for you! This is the worst-case scenario for me -- getting up the courage to tell my T something like this, and then being thrown out for it. I felt chilly just reading your post!

I am so sorry that this happened to you! I can understand how heartbroken you must feel. It's devastating! You came clean and this is what happened?!?! Awful, just awful.

I hope you will be able to work through these feelings with your new T. It's good that it's someone you know and like. It doesn't take away from the pain though.

I just do not understand why so many therapists seem to do this. Rather than saying the feelings are getting "in the way" of your therapy, how about making the exploration of these feelings an integral part of your therapy?

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I would have been completely devastated and anguished if my former T hadn't allowed me to discuss all of this with him.

I agree, I told one of my therapist yesterday, how I felt (I'm about to post about it. It should be something that you are allowed to explore in therapy. Not be put to another therapist, unless you really are a threat. She's either has good reason why she's done this, or she has not been trained to deal with these sorts of things.

x x x x

tasha, I'm also sorry that this happened to you. Hopefully your new T will be able to help you better.

Although my last T said she had been trained in how to handle it, I really don't think she knew how to. At least that was my impression.

hello tasha, i really sympathize with you especially that i am going through the same situation.i do not know where my relationship with my therapist would take me im struggling i love her i am really confused whether to disclose to her the truth that i love her and too attched to her.i do not know what to tell you you are in a tough situation i understand.but you know im confused to tell or predict what my therapist would do if i tell her i don't wanna be hurt afterall i dont wnat to be traumatized. everytime i go to the session i consider telling her but then i withdraw from doing so.all you have to do is i guess to try and work hard on overcoming this difficulty and seeking help ofcourse. im late for replying maybe sorry i dint look the date the thread was posted
best wishes

hello tasha, i actually sympathize with you, this is really tough i also appreciate your courage to tell her the truth about your feelings. as for me im suffering the same situation now, but im not able to open up to her i cannot predict how would she react, she is nice and understanding but also strict so i cannot predict and i do not want to be hurt i really appreciate your step though this is complete difficulty sorry if this is late im anew member i dont see the date of the post