Things T's shouldn't say.....

I was looking for this threat. I went and saw my t yesterday, she is like my mums age and has teenage kids about my age.. Anyway she said she had great things planned for me and that I was her PUPPET! I can't get over that she said that to me knowing that I'm paranoid about things. I dont want to be controlled by anyone or anything. I don't know if I can get past this.

I know she knows that what she said was inappropriate and not helpful

WHAT??? you are her puppet? Is she a real T? Did she go to school? How long have you been seeing her? Does she have an excuse for saying this? Ie she fell and hit her head, she's on a new medication, someone slipped one or two shots of Jack Daniel's in her coffee? Please keep us posted. You have a very interesting/possibly problematic T. Or maybe she's a great T who happened to make a very extremely stupid, idiotic, disrepectful, unfortunate, unprofessional comment just once.

My two personal favourites that I intend to crossstitch samplers of:
"It has got to the point that I now dread your appointments. Maybe I am just too old to learn anything new. " And "You need to be realistic. You ARE a loser." Enough said.

"You don't even want to get better."

WTH is that, reverse psychology? You've got half the alphabet after your name, and this is what we're doing? I'm the one with distorted thinking and the problem of constantly putting people on a pedestal. If I think you believe I don't want to get better, then I won't want to get better.

Besides, I didn't say anything close to that. It wasn't implied or inferred. I'm not certain if you believe that or you're just trying bait me. I do know that either you're bad at this or you think I'm an idiot - and since I'm not an idiot, either way you're just bad at this.

"Let go and let God."

Well, if I knew how to do that, I wouldn't be in in your f-ing office, now would I?

"If God wants us to be friends, He'll make it happen."

Because we're all His puppets now aren't we? Didn't He give us something called "free will"?

Oooh Kitten I 'm with you on this one!

[quote=Chopin99;2222331
"If God wants us to be friends, He'll make it happen."

[/quote]

Hi Chopin 99-
How did you interpret this one?
What was your facial expression?
Please share!

After a couple of months of very friendly and open therapy, I asked my T in a December session if we could ever be friends after therapy was over. At first she said that would be nice. Then she said it shouldn't be talked about until the end of therapy.

Next session she said no, but if "God wants us to be friends, he'll make it happen. Have faith! (left that part out first time)".

The next session she said she would never have a post-therapy relationship with ANY client. I helped her shape that boundary.

IMO, that is the type of boundary that needs to be formed before one starts practicing therapy, not six years into one's practice.

I think my facial expression each time was something like or

Thank you for sharing Chopin99. I agree with you that she ought to have initially established her boundaries. At least she was honest with you about your being the catalyst for her decision. You know what strikes me? That in six years she has never encountered this. Which leads me to wonder that you do have a special bond. How frustrating and disappointing for you! And that her decision has not been set in stone as of yet. She may re-evaluate post therapy. And of course you could change your mind as well. Take heart, you will never have to answer the awkward question "So how did you two meet?"
Velvet Cactus

Wow, what is with the God talk - from a therapist? That's way out of bounds. If a therapist ever said "I'll pray for you" to me, that would also frost my waffles, and it would be a TOTAL dealbreaker. I'm in therapy, not bible study!

(OMG so triggering for me - horrible memories of being hunted down repeatedly by campus evangelists when I was in college. For some reason I had the words fresh meat stamped all over me. I was an atheist and very opinionated, not at all persuadable or open to conversion to anyone else's faith - had simply NO idea why these people's eyes would light up when they saw me...)

Honestly, the God stuff is reportable I think...

Some of us go to Christian Psychologist and they do talk about God which we knew before we went to them... doesn't mean we don't find some of the Christianeze sayings annoying too though

Don't you want frosting on your waffles?

Mmmmmm. Frosted waffles. Mmmmmm.

LOL

frost my waffles?? That's a KEEPER!!!!

Thanks for that, Readytostop!

I should have figured that there are Christian counselors, and some people seek them out...Sorry, I'm an asshat...tried to delete my post, but I'm past the edit date on that one!

My therapist LOVES my intellectual self.....I am a Freshman at age 65 because of what I wrote about my life; we never run out of ANYthing to talk about...most of all I really love talking about ME, LOL,LOL

Okay, I know my therapist at the time was trying to be kind, but we were talking about biblically motivated anti-gay attitudes one time and and she said, "That's not even theologically correct."

That sent me through the roof, inside not outside, because it meant that A) She believed there was a category of beliefs called "theologically correct," and B) That she had a grasp on what they were and was gonna tell me about it.

Coming from my fundamentalist Christian background, I'm so dogma averse, that just about anyone claiming their spiritual views to be the "correct" ones is hard for me to hear, and she was not a Christian counselor. Due to our otherwise dysfunctional relationship, I never talked to her about it.

Off the current thread topic, but on the original one, I had a horrifying exchange with my pdoc. He was telling me I need to exercise regularly again. I said hey I've given up booze, drugs, and cigarettes. I'll get around to my weight when I'm ready. He said, "So, you're not willing to give up your laziness." Ouch.

Then I mentioned that I have back problems that are exacerbated by exercise. He suggested walking in a pool. I said that I have access to one at my apt. complex which I can use in the summer, but it's not heated in the colder months. And this guy says, "Then you'll just have to walk in a really big wetsuit."

Okay, so I have changed pdocs for my next appointment with I think due cause. I didn't even realize what a jerk he'd been until I left his office. I thought about writing a letter to the clinic about his rudeness, but that seemed like it would cause me more upset and embarrassment than it's worth.

So would he talk to a person of his own gender and persuasion like this - and not expect to get punched? I'm sorry I'm so pokey and punchy - family contact does that to me. But still - this guy thinks he's so funny, he should take his schtick to the comedy club, then he'll see how hilarious he is. So, I guess for you, "theologically correct" would be an oxymoron?

Thanks for the imaginary punch. That soothes.

An oxymoron? Not in a seminary class where everyone shares basic assumptions. Then, contextually, it would be fine. In a therapy room with a patient with deep religious wounds, yes, that definitely approaches oxymoron territory.

Everything depends on how he said it and how close you were.
If Hankster posted this about me I'd just take it as teasing.

We're not close at all. He's just a tool. He looks like Mr. Jellyneck from Strangers With Candy. Same phony grin.

HI y'all. It's good to see therapists from all over put their feet in their mouths!
My T had these gems for me this week: You know, you need to learn to accept compliments. Say thank-you. I was puzzled I thought he was just giving me feedback and the two items he mentioned had already come up! (After that I am concerned that he has only learnt two things about me thus far.) Do any of you thank your T for mentioning your positive qualities? He seemed really put out.
The next thing he said is mind boggling and I am still trying to sort it out.
Out of the blue he says " Shower, smell nice, get a predictable personality..."
I look at him and say "Are you serious?!" I was laughing because I thought that was his general mantra in life. (My step dad had a similar funny one.) I thought he was kidding! Imagine my horror when I realized on the way home that I had completedly misinterpreted him! He indeed was summing up my therapeutic goals!

I have to address this with him next time. Surely to goodness my state of hygiene was a low blow. Insensitive. ( Mind you I had had a power flash right before my appointment and I was glowing. And no blow dryers in the washroom.) The part that ticks me off the most is his assumption that I don't shower!!!!!
Any ideas on what to say to him? All suggestions welcomed!
Crushed Velvet

OMG!!! He WAS actually partially - quoting an Irish limerick!!
And he let me give him hell before letting me know he had no clue as to what I was talking about!!!
All forgiven!.

Totally off topic, but the bit about showering made me think of this: When my mom wanted to say something nice about someone she would say, "She's a good girl, she has a clean neck and she makes her own clothes". I still think that whenever I meet a woman who is totally likeable.