Wedding ring awkwardness

my mind would be there, too - and if T doesn't realize it, HE'S in denial, or countertransference! what's next, his wife doesn't understand him?!

That's a very good question...I really need to pay attention to the context next time. Usually when he brings it up it is part of a larger story he is telling me I guess to share his experiences to make a point?

It has come up 3-4 times over 20yrs of therapy so transference, sure, but he's unlikely to act on anything at this point.

My t only o nce didn't have his ring on and I wondered about that, but didn't say anything; being in love with hiim is agony.

I have never had feelings for my therapists.. but one of them I hardly knew anything about her life, except her cousin died of cancer and her cousins daughter was about 7 and she didn't really understand what was going on. she only told me this when I was struggling with the anniversary of my dads death who died when I was 7. another I knew a bit more, I knew when his mum died and that he had to go back to Scotland for the funeral and I knew a few other things.. none of them really related to me but I think that when his mum died he felt he had to tell me because he took 3 weeks off and I was struggling with the fact my old T had left then after him being my T for about 2 weeks (he'd been my tempt T heaps before that) he had to leave and he thought I might flip out thinking he was abandoning me. my current T talks about herself a bit but always in context and I've only been seeing her for a few months so I guess I'll find out just how much she's willing to disclose after I've known her longer.

I think that all Ts are different in terms of how much they tell you about there lives.

actually I've noticed that its the same with psych nurses. as I've spent alot of time in the one IP I got to know the nurses well and got 2 extremes. a few told me about lots of things in their lives, one I knew his cats name and all about his friends and his footy club and his mum and sister and how he felt when he moved to Australia when he was little. he and I were pretty close though, I told him more than my T lol. and another she told me about where she lost her virginity. but there were some that wouldn't even say what area they lived in or if they had a partner.

so I think that everyone is different on how much they feel comfortable sharing. same as every patient is different with how much they want to know. I guess it's about finding the right match.

It's almost the old cliche, "My wife doesn't understand me."

It's a weird thing for the therapist to be bringing up. I can see them announcing something if there's visible signs of illness or injury.

Anyone else have trouble NOT staring at their ring(s) because their rock is so huge?

Hi PreacherHeckler,
I was giving this notion some though as well. I like your idea of a "tutu" -the universal therapist uniform-that would work for me! How about what they wear to mow the lawn?
What I would give to have empirical research on my T's oufit choices the rest of the week. He's unusually elegant Monday mornings. As a clotheshorse, I find it too distracting.

Hi with or without you That's so true- it's only human to stare at big shiny objects!
Mine has an unsual ring made of non-metal. Still trying to rule our the likelyhood it came out of a gumball machine...

Oh, Velvet - my hunky T in a tutu - sign me up for another year of deep therapy!

Hankster, if he was wearing a tutu, methinks he'd be on the wrong side of the desk !
You have a hunk too?! Sigh. I think we ought to put it in the patients' bill of rights that we require access of a photo BEFORE attending therapy. At least on paper you could doodle and 'dehunkify' them! Horns, tongue ring, hockey teeth - whatever works fo you! Then politely decline by feigning an allergy to attractive T's?

I haven't read all the responses to this thread....but the topic did stand out to me. I can imagine how T's have to tread lightly depending on the client's issues. And then there are some things that a T might tell every client....

I've been seeing my T for 3 years, and just the other day, his wife (who is also a T) and one of his children were at his practice. He asked me if I wanted to meet his daughter, and I agreed....so I met her...and his wife was there as well...He then pointed to her and said, "and that's my wife".....We each said hello and nice to meet you....and then T mentioned to her that I was a long-time client...and she seemed even more excited to meet me...then said, "I hope he doesn't say anything bad about me!"....

Nothing more was said, and we moved forward with my session. I am not feeling awkward about it at the moment - although a couple of times, that green monster comes out saying, "Um, why would YOU be the topic of MY therapy".....and realizing how thin and beautiful she is...and how I'm the complete opposite...and that I must be repulsive to T....etc. BLECH.

Anyway, back to my point....The ring issue seems like something he would've told any of his clients....but it may be something that was more specific than that....I would be mortified to ask....but I'd be curious.

There are men in tutus on both sides of the desk.

You have a good point.