[Hereandthere25]

I have been going to my therapist for a few months.

I had some issues with transference early on. I was candid about it and we continued with the sessions. I seemed to be making progress. She is quite emotional at times, I figured this was empathy.

This is where it gets complicated..
During a recent session she seemed to be flirting with me. Long gazes, leaning forward close to my face, it was overt. This was extremely confusing. I confronted her the next session, and via email. She avoided it, and claimed no sexual feelings for me. I was distraught enough that I terminated the sessions. I am convinced I did not imagine this..but due to my confusion and generally vulnerable state I "withdrew" the termination (which was done via email). I want to believe it didn't happen. I do not have any real support structure in my life, it would be devastating for me to stop these sessions.

I have since had a few very difficult appointments. Is there ever a therapeutic reason for a therapist to do this? I do have issues with intimacy, she should know this. The problem I have now is that this has gone from feelings of confusion and betrayal to my being extremely aroused in her presence. Everything about this is screaming something is seriously wrong.

During the last session she appeared again to have a seductive look, I know this is vague statement..again it seemed overt. This is completely consuming me at the moment.

[mazing]

It sounds very strange that your t would be using that kind of body language, and it may be innocent and a misunderstanding but it may not. The most important thing is that the therapy sessions are of benefit to you and it appears even after confronting the issues you feel it still isn't helping you. If you believe that your therapist is not giving you the service that you need I would strongly suggest looking at other options.

[0w6c379]

I'm sorry you are going through this. My feeling is that you should get out now. Don't let her hurt you and play with your psyche like that.

[anilam]

I think you've got 2 option
A. You talk it over with her- she should not avoid a topic you bring into the session. It could well be your imagination- projecting your feelings onto her- or countertransference on her part. Don't know and we really can't tell here.
B. You could find another T- few months isn't that long. So if you feel like you can't deal with it or that she is not the right T for you it's better to move now than later.

Obviously there's another option- you could just wait and see. However, I think it would be a shame to go/pay for your therapy and not use it to its' full potential.

[healed84]

I would interrupt the things that you mentioned as ways of your T showing that she is giving you her full intention. Now, that is not to say it wouldn't make you uncomfortable.. However, I don't think it has to be assigned as sexual in nature.

I have been freaked out at times of T leaning forward in his chair.. not b/c it felt sexual, but because he was close. When, in reality.. he was really paying attention to me. I would try to ride this rupture out.

[nicoleflynn]

There is no way to know unless you speak with her; if she is well-trained and ethical, she will WANT to discuss it with you and straighten things out; IF she was indeed being seductive (and isn't honest and ethical) then she will deny it and confuse the situation. You are paying for a service and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. There is a good book on the subject: Sex in the Forbidden Zone by Peter Rutter....it points out seductive behavior and is very eye-opening when one is confused as to what is happening in therapy.

[kaliope]

as healed84 stated, eye contact and leaning in are two methods of active listening. could you be attaching the seductive nature to it yourself?

[Hereandthere25]

i didn't imagine any of this. "you know how you said you wanted to visit a prostitute just to get it over with..."

but i can see how destructive this therapy thing can be, that essentially anything i perceive in there is up for debate.

****ing ********. total crock of ****.

[optimitic2the-end]

Oh my gosh, noooo. No reason for her to be flirtatious with you. I am sure you didn't imagine it, and with no other support structure, I can't imagine how devastated you feel. Having feelings of arousal would be oh so normal too! You have developed all this trust with her and you have the right to expect her to keep appropriate boundaries! Even if you had transference feelings, it is up to HER to control her feelings and keep things healthy and therapeutic.
You expressed concern and even cancelled sessions, she denies sexual feelings and then acts seductively towards you again..... I would trust your instincts and find another T. I know how horrible that feels but if she can't control her behavior, I really concerned for you. What is going to happen if this relationship turns sexual? Is she going to deflect responsibility onto you? Sounds like she is ok with denying and lying about how she really feels. Take care of yourself and know that you have no reason to feel ashamed or blame yourself.