[LearningMe01]

Spend time thinking about T. I am going to make a conscious effort to put her out of my mind. Mindfulness, that's what they teach us, right? I will no longer waste my time, energy or tears on someone who does not do the same (on anything other than a therapeutic level.)

Uuugh. I can't believe I fell into this "trap". I know it's common, but I thought I could give myself a little more credit than that. Apparently not.

[Travelinglady]

Yes, it's common--so don't put yourself down. I agree it's best not to dwell on it.

[southpole]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

Spend time thinking about T. I am going to make a conscious effort to put her out of my mind. Mindfulness, that's what they teach us, right? I will no longer waste my time, energy or tears on someone who does not do the same (on anything other than a therapeutic level.)

Uuugh. I can't believe I fell into this "trap". I know it's common, but I thought I could give myself a little more credit than that. Apparently not.

Double hugs, LearningMe (make that triple)

I still think about mine every day but for some reason this week the insane transference feelings have eased off. I only just posted last week that they were doing my head in, I thought I was absolutely LOSING ITl

Today I feel much more rational. I have realized that I:

1. am not in love with her
2. love her as a therapist (a lot)
3. don't want to be her friend.

This, for me, is BIG, and I don't know how long it will last. Of course when I go see her in exactly two hours, things may change. But I am glad I have experienced less obsessiveness and less painful lovelorn-ness, if only for a short while.

Don't know why it's so complicated. again

[RainbowLonesomeDove]

Originally Posted by LearningMe01

Spend time thinking about T. I am going to make a conscious effort to put her out of my mind. Mindfulness, that's what they teach us, right? I will no longer waste my time, energy or tears on someone who does not do the same (on anything other than a therapeutic level.)

Uuugh. I can't believe I fell into this "trap". I know it's common, but I thought I could give myself a little more credit than that. Apparently not.

I know how you feel. You feel as if you cannot live without your T, right? Transference is beautiful, yet painstakingly annoying. I'm in a simular situation. My T is everything to me. There is a thug in my school that see's her and hes always prodding down the halls saying things like: "I'm going to brtually kill Dr. H". I eve have fantasies where he attempts and I save her.

So, do not worry, love. This "trap" is utterly normal and, believe it or not, good for your relationship with your T. It means you trust her. You may put her out of your mind if you want, but believe me, therapy is hell without feeling the transference. Well, unless your T is neglectful, hateful and doesn't seem to care, then I would suggest putting her out completely.

Have an amazing day,



RainbowLonesomeDove

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by southpole

Double hugs, LearningMe (make that triple)

I still think about mine every day but for some reason this week the insane transference feelings have eased off. I only just posted last week that they were doing my head in, I thought I was absolutely LOSING ITl

Today I feel much more rational. I have realized that I:

1. am not in love with her
2. love her as a therapist (a lot)
3. don't want to be her friend.

This, for me, is BIG, and I don't know how long it will last. Of course when I go see her in exactly two hours, things may change. But I am glad I have experienced less obsessiveness and less painful lovelorn-ness, if only for a short while.

Don't know why it's so complicated. again

Thanks for this

It seems that I was just having a good day when I wrote this though. Today, 3 hours after seeing her I am back to feeling very lovelorn and very painful. Hopeless, really. I thought it was getting better, but apparently not. I know the feeling, of it "doing your head in." It's like, you can't escape it. The only way I see this getting better would be to terminate with her...but I really, REALLY don't want to do that. Besides being a beautiful person, she's an awesome T and helps me sort out a lot of my 'inner turmoil'. (except for the inner turmoil that surrounds my 'love' for her.) Sometimes I feel like I'm just delaying the inevitable, she's leaving next year, and has mentioned on more than one occasion the "certainty of the fact that she will be leaving my life" (ahhhh, Ouch.)

I don't know why it has to be so complicated either. I wish I had the answer, because if I knew how, I would completely banish her from my head, and heart (other than as a therapist.) *sigh* I think it's going to be one of those nights.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by RainbowLonesomeDove

I know how you feel. You feel as if you cannot live without your T, right? Transference is beautiful, yet painstakingly annoying. I'm in a simular situation. My T is everything to me. There is a thug in my school that see's her and hes always prodding down the halls saying things like: "I'm going to brtually kill Dr. H". I eve have fantasies where he attempts and I save her.

So, do not worry, love. This "trap" is utterly normal and, believe it or not, good for your relationship with your T. It means you trust her. You may put her out of your mind if you want, but believe me, therapy is hell without feeling the transference. Well, unless your T is neglectful, hateful and doesn't seem to care, then I would suggest putting her out completely.

Have an amazing day,



RainbowLonesomeDove

First off, I love that you put 'lesbianism' as one of your disorders....that def. made me giggle a little, (my T has 'lesbianism' also lol) and I needed that today I think I'll put 'Bisexualism' as one of mine...HeHe.

And you are SO correct, on everything you wrote. I feel like it's so unfair, that there is a person as beautiful as her in this world...someone that truly amazes me, that I'll never be able to be close to (in the way that I would like) And it makes my heart hurt. And the fact that she's leaving early next year makes it feel like she's slowly (and painfully) slipping away. Sounds corny, I know. Thanks for your words of encouragement though, you obviously know that you're talking about

Oh, and P.S. That thug at your school....that is super scary. Have you told your T about this?

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by RainbowLonesomeDove

I know how you feel. You feel as if you cannot live without your T, right? Transference is beautiful, yet painstakingly annoying. I'm in a simular situation. My T is everything to me. There is a thug in my school that see's her and hes always prodding down the halls saying things like: "I'm going to brtually kill Dr. H". I eve have fantasies where he attempts and I save her.

So, do not worry, love. This "trap" is utterly normal and, believe it or not, good for your relationship with your T. It means you trust her. You may put her out of your mind if you want, but believe me, therapy is hell without feeling the transference. Well, unless your T is neglectful, hateful and doesn't seem to care, then I would suggest putting her out completely.

Have an amazing day,



RainbowLonesomeDove

Hey there!
Your being a lesbian is FAR from a disorder...it is just a part of who you are...hold your head up high and be proud!!

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

Hey there!
Your being a lesbian is FAR from a disorder...it is just a part of who you are...hold your head up high and be proud!!

This!!

I kinda took it as a "joke" that she had that on there. If you read some of her other posts, she's quite witty , especially for 17

But yes, Rainbow, I sincerely hope you don't consider being a lesbian a disorder!!

I am trying not to but my T has given me home work where i have to connect the empty pit in meand thing that he has but I don't have and why wanting to have sex with him connects it all. So I have to think about it. Its painful but nice at the same time.

[southpole]

Yeah so I spoke too soon :-) Back to thinking about her constantly, argh! I do think the context of the thoughts has changed though - like I def want to spend lots and lots and lots of time with her but mostly with her as my therapist. She is brilliant at what she does and makes me feel so good - this I'm not sure a friend (or whatever) could do. Having said that, lovelorn-ness is back

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by southpole

Yeah so I spoke too soon :-) Back to thinking about her constantly, argh! I do think the context of the thoughts has changed though - like I def want to spend lots and lots and lots of time with her but mostly with her as my therapist. She is brilliant at what she does and makes me feel so good - this I'm not sure a friend (or whatever) could do. Having said that, lovelorn-ness is back

I feel you on this. Completely.