What are some ingenious methods for tracking down T to find out where he/she lives when they are not listed in the phone directory?

I think that it would be unwise to track down your T. Not only can this open up grounds for a stalking lawsuit, it may even have you labeled as dangerous.

[Inner_Firefly]

What happens if you just ask her directly? I don't have an answer for you, I wouldn't know how either. Perhaps one day you will find the answer on Google.

[willowbrook]

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

I think that it would be unwise to track down your T. Not only can this open up grounds for a stalking lawsuit, it may even have you labeled as dangerous.

This. Not to mention the very real fear going down such a path would instill in regards to the person on the receiving end as well. This isn't love, or attraction, or even lust, this is something that has the potential to adversely affect someone's entire life.

Excerpt from “Clients Who Stalk Psychologists: Prevalence, Methods, and Motives.” Purcell, Rosemary; Powell, Martine B.; & Mullen, Paul E. (2005)

"The experience of being stalked by a client is disruptive both personally and professionally, as evidenced by psychologists in this sample often bolstering both their home and their workplace security. It is notable that a significant proportion of stalked psychologists considered leaving the profession as a direct result of their experience. Although the number of psychologists who have ultimately abandoned their career as a result of client stalking cannot be discerned here (because the sample consisted of current board-registered practitioners), several respondents indicated that they had transferred to nonclinical work practices in light of their stalking experiences."

Excerpt from "Under siege?: Psychiatrists and stalking." Palermo, M. T. (2013).

"Stalking leaves those victimized emotionally scarred. It may persist for weeks, months, or even years. The impact on the victims may be highly destructive, with feelings of guilt, frustration, and embarrassment. Some professionals ask for police protection or even leave their profession entirely. However, most of them refrain from the former because of possible societal and professional misinterpretation connected with it. Posttraumatic stress disorder is not infrequent in stalking victims."

Excerpts from "When a Therapist Is Being Stalked." Vitelli, Romeo (2014)

"Regardless of the actual risk of assault, stalking has a clear impact on the mental health of their targets. Around 20 to 30 percent of stalking victims seek counseling because of the emotional distress caused by stalking and one in seven will change their residence. Stalking victims are also much more likely to arm themselves or take other defensive measures to ensure their safety...A 2005 Italian study (link is external) found that 8 percent of stalked professionals thought of changing their profession as a result of the stalking while 5 percent actually did so. One in four professionals who report having been stalked end up losing time from work in order to avoid their stalker or to get help from fellow therapists and attorneys...Stalking episodes can last as briefly as a few days or can persist much longer (the average length is about two years). During the time that the stalking occurs, professionals typically experience mental distress due to safety fears, lack of proper support from law enforcement and professional organizations, and the uncertainty over when and where the next confrontation will take place. Mental health professional who are stalked often find themselves isolated from the people around them, many of whom develop fears for their own safety or who wonder if the targeted professional somehow "deserved" the harassment through their own actions."

Excerpt from "The stalking of psychiatrists." Whyte, S., Penny, C., Christopherson, S., Reiss, D., & Petch, E. (2011).

"Of the 2,585 psychiatrists who submitted valid responses, 21% thought they had been stalked; the experiences of 33% met current legal criteria and 10% met strict research criteria. Three percent of respondents were currently being stalked; 2% reported that their stalking had begun in the past year. Of those who had been stalked, 64% were stalked by patients. The most commonly reported motives were intimacy seeking and resentment. Stalking persisted for over a year for 52% of victims. The stalking was intrusive, disruptive, and had significant impact."

[growlycat]

All the above is important. Even if you look at it from a selfish perspective, stalking behavior will push her away from you. If you are fond of her, and want her to care for you, stalking is a good way to destroy any good things you do feel for each other.

[frackfrackfrack]

I'm not sure that IT said he necessarily intends to stalk her physically (track could also mean 'track down on the internet'). Is it also a bad thing to just look up this information by some means? Personally, for me the answer turned out to be yes, it was not a good idea....but I don't think that its illegal or dangerous or that one shouldn't do it, as a rule. But its worth thinking about its effect on therapy and one's relationship with the therapist as growlycat pointed out.

[alimak]

I always look up all my doctors on facebook at the very least to see if there is something that should concern me. If I can't find them in facebook they either technological challenged (which to me might mean they are not up to date on the latest treatment since the medical field has become so technological dependent) or they are paranoid of being found by their patients/feel a sense of superiority. In both cases it is a major turn off. I never contact them on facebook. As a matter of fact I even blocked my current T on Facebook so he won't see any comments that I write in a public forum.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by alimak

I always look up all my doctors on facebook at the very least to see if there is something that should concern me. If I can't find them in facebook they either technological challenged (which to me might mean they are not up to date on the latest treatment since the medical field has become so technological dependent) or they are paranoid of being found by their patients/feel a sense of superiority. In both cases it is a major turn off. I never contact them on facebook. As a matter of fact I even blocked my current T on Facebook so he won't see any comments that I write in a public forum.

That might be true of Ts under 40, but with those over not so much. It's neither paranoid or superiority but just lack of interest.

[alimak]

I know way too many in the field that are so paranoid that their patients would find them that they use fake names on Facebook. It's those that give the industry a bad name!

Originally Posted by Lauliza

That might be true of Ts under 40, but with those over not so much. It's neither paranoid or superiority but just lack of interest.

Originally Posted by alimak

I know way too many in the field that are so paranoid that their patients would find them that they use fake names on Facebook. It's those that give the industry a bad name!

Well, considering the stories I've heard told right here on PC about clients finding ways to wheedle their way onto their T's private FB page (and spouse's and children's and siblings . . .) through all manner of deception, I wouldn't blame them for staying off of FB. Clients who connive their ways into their T's private lives uninvited give clients a bad name. Just sayin'.

[alimak]

When I hire therapist I need to know what type of people that they are. I look up everyone before I hire them regardless it's an employee for my office, a plumber to work in my house or a psychologist. If they make it hard for me to know who they are then they won't get my money.

I don't want to give my money to a therapist that has their own mental health issues.

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Well, considering the stories I've heard told right here on PC about clients finding ways to wheedle their way onto their T's private FB page (and spouse's and children's and siblings . . .) through all manner of deception, I wouldn't blame them for staying off of FB. Clients who connive their ways into their T's private lives uninvited give clients a bad name. Just sayin'.

[TheWell]

I think Googling your therapist is a lot different than tracking them down.
I totally think that looking for new ways to track your therapist is a bad idea and you should talk to your therapist about it.

[Ididitmyway]

I too am confused with the "tracking down" term. If you use the online search to see what info on your therapist is available, you wouldn't call it "tracking down". If you want to see beyond what is publicly available, how is this going to benefit you? You can decide if someone is trustworthy by noticing how they interact with you. You don't need any behind the scenes investigations to make that judgment, because the therapist's personal information is irrelevant to the work you are doing with them.

[frackfrackfrack]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

I too am confused with the "tracking down" term. If you use the online search to see what info on your therapist is available, you wouldn't call it "tracking down". If you want to see beyond what is publicly available, how is this going to benefit you? You can decide if someone is trustworthy by noticing how they interact with you. You don't need any behind the scenes investigations to make that judgment, because the therapist's personal information is irrelevant to the work you are doing with them.

I dunno, sometimes you have to be very very persistent. E.g. my therapist has a name that is common as dirt. I had to work really hard to find out his information from websites that give you some info about people (I didn't pay or anything). But I think I would call it tracking down if I comb through a list of 20 pages of John Smiths to find one that matches his details.

hoping this is a joke

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by alimak

I know way too many in the field that are so paranoid that their patients would find them that they use fake names on Facebook. It's those that give the industry a bad name!

Many Ts do this. It's not paranoia, it's just the awareness that everyone with a profile is opening up personal info to anyone who is curious. For some professionals having their private info seen by clients can lead to more awkward situations than it would to others. I've heard about many people on PC and elsewhere who found their Ts online and ended up wishing they hadn't. I known some teachers and lawyers who do the exact same thing so it's not limited to therapists. They're not narcissistic at all. They might be a more private than the average person (especially people who grew up on social media), but they're mostly just aware of the downsides and would rather avoid any potential problems. Social media isn't as much a part of everyday life to a lot of people 40 and older so staying off it doesn't have the implications that it would to a person on their 20s or 30s.

[stopdog]

There are plenty of ways of finding out private info about someone else without paying for it - you can google search for those ideas if you are interested. I am surprised you thought this was going to be met with encouragement to proceed by people here.

The two I see are both right around 70 years or so old and they both are on facebook (they told me) - I do not have a facebook account and I have no idea what tweeter does although I know people do it.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by alimak

When I hire therapist I need to know what type of people that they are. I look up everyone before I hire them regardless it's an employee for my office, a plumber to work in my house or a psychologist. If they make it hard for me to know who they are then they won't get my money.

I don't want to give my money to a therapist that has their own mental health issues.

LOL! good luck with that...

[nicoleflynn]

When you hire a therapist......they usually give you their professional stats....how long a therapist, method(s); payment rules, techniques, etc.......but there is NO way to know if they have mental health issues; most humans have something they are dealing with .....you can google...what to look for in a therapist.......they aren't required to talk about their private lives...If you go into psychology Today online; you can read bios of all kinds of therapists.

[WrkNPrgress]

I second/third/fourth the sentiment "just don't". You don't need to know where your T lives. I say this as someone who used to do drive-bys of my teacher-crush when I was 17. It was thrilling but... my life was fine not knowing everything about them.

You need to focus on your own issues, not your T. Maybe examine why you feel the need to know this information and what that's all about.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by Lauliza

Many Ts do this. It's not paranoia, it's just the awareness that everyone with a profile is opening up personal info to anyone who is curious. For some professionals having their private info seen by clients can lead to more awkward situations than it would to others. I've heard about many people on PC and elsewhere who found their Ts online and ended up wishing they hadn't. I known some teachers and lawyers who do the exact same thing so it's not limited to therapists. They're not narcissistic at all. They might be a more private than the average person (especially people who grew up on social media), but they're mostly just aware of the downsides and would rather avoid any potential problems. Social media isn't as much a part of everyday life to a lot of people 40 and older so staying off it doesn't have the implications that it would to a person on their 20s or 30s.

Exactly, a friend of mine who is a teacher does the exact same thing.

[TheWell]

I'm a high school teacher. I have students try to friend me all the time. I tell them no that I don't friend students or former students on Facebook. I don't have my name hidden but I do have my profile very locked down. I check it occasionally to make sure that Facebook hasn't made any changes that would allow non-friends to see my stuff.

[WrkNPrgress]

Originally Posted by frackfrackfrack

I'm not sure that IT said he necessarily intends to stalk her physically (track could also mean 'track down on the internet').

IT wrote: "What are some ingenious methods for tracking down T to find out where he/she lives ...."

I'm not sure what purpose someone would need to "track down" someone's home address for any reason?

Perhaps IT can speak to what their intentions are. I get the curiosity, as I said I did something similar when i was quite young but I know better these days and I wouldn't want to invade a T's right to privacy. This is someone I need to be a professional and I want to keep that relationship in the office— so it can be what I need it to be.

[musinglizzy]

TheWell, I work for a school district and we actually had to sign a contract stating we would not befriend students on Facebook. They take it seriously!

As far as the OP, what is your purpose for "tracking down" your T? What would you do with that information? I don't see how it could be of any GOOD value to have.... I agree, this sounds like stalker-ish behavior (or wanna be anyway)...and I probably wouldn't open up that can of worms if you want to stay with your T. Heck, ask them where they live...see if they answer.....even a general neighborhood or whatever.

I think there's a pretty clear difference between Google'ing someone out of curiosity (or anxiety, or to feel close) vs Google'ing someone with the intention of trying to meet them outside of session (or behave in any other kind of way that a therapist would find threatening).

There have been quite a few threads regarding 'researching' therapists online and lots of people do it. I'll admit I Googled mine. Okay, I still do... I agree that it's helpful to look at why. For me, it's trust issues. I'm looking for some reason not to trust T. For example, a big incongruence between who she is in session versus her personal life, which would give validation to my suspicion that she's not being authentic with me. Call it paranoia, or a side effect of trusting someone with very personal information about myself. Though I do find it comfort looking at her webpage.

Now, I'm not one of those who feel bad about it, or need to confess it to T. I know what my intentions are. I'm not trying to hurt her, or insert myself into her personal life. Most of what I found she would probably tell me about if I asked. I think people get into the most trouble with T's when they admit to excessive Google'ing, or home drive-bys (which to me, is big boundary crossing). IMO, it's the action-taking and on-line deception (actions) which are the issue... not 'just looking' stuff.