Disclosing feelings in writing.

Have any of you disclosed your ET in writing? I am too embarrassed to do it in person, but I wouldn't even know where to start with a letter.

Suggestions?

Yes, that is how I did it. For the first 1 1/2 years I disclosed anything remotely difficult through email and then she would react kindly, gently, not shaming, she would normalize it every single time. She had the same kind of compassion and empathy every single time! (even when I said some crazier things). She would then try to get me to talk about it in person with her which I was unable to do for a looooong time. But slowly I began to talk a little bit here and there. After 1 1/2 years of therapy I began to talk about the hard things face to face---- maternal and erotic transference (a little bit), flashbacks, memories, domestic violence I witnessed as a child, mom fantasies. I finally could do it and it wouldn't have happened if I didn't have the green light to email/text whenever. Her consistency and patience made all the difference.

When you told her about the transference issues, did she refuse to hug you any more, or did she push you away as in make you feel like she can't be what you want or need from her? i am trying to decide whether to write about this to my therapist

I wrote my feelings out and wanted her to read them. She wouldn't (honestly, she didn't really know what was in the letter) and wanted me to talk. Finally she agreed to me reading the letter. It started the discussion and was the hardest thing I've done. My T. doesn't have email so that wasn't an option.
I've just slowly taken baby steps....

Just be prepared for no satisfying end result. The feelings won't go away. The temptation persists. He likely won't do anything that your hormones want him to do. Might even ego trip from it. He might let a flirtation slip from time to time if he's attracted. Your feelings will be stronger than his. FML.

Sorry, I just saw this. No she did not. I was worried about that same exact thing. I remember even emailing after a session I disclosed some transference and I asked "is it ok to still ask for a hug?" She said of "of course". Her consistency and the fact that she "has not pushed me away" makes me feel safe. When I feel safe I am able to talk more openly and disclose more (which is what a therapist wants, I assume). She has tried to normalize those feelings by saying things like "this is not abnormal" and "it is to be expected in light of the things you have been through". Those comments meant a lot to me and I was able to internalize them to not feel so crazy.

Now that doesn't mean she never says things that hurt. Earlier this week I started a thread entitled "love and nurture yourself...........whatever". What she said hurt and triggered me but there was not "intent" on her part. I think when you come from a childhood that was so hurtful things like that happen and I need to tell her what hurts me and why that is (unfortunately I couldn't in that session, but there is always next week). Any therapist who is an effective therapist will know how to handle this. If he/she handles it in a way that hurts you......it is your job to tell her (not internalize that hurt). I am currently in the middle of all this too. Good luck and keep me posted.

Does this Count? It is not ET but it is heavy transference.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...rite-note.html

This is a great statement and it speaks to something I am currently learning. Part of the process in therapy is owning, and speaking to our feelings - even if, especially if, those feelings are about the therapist— for better or for worse.

I'm reminded of a homework assignment my T gave me to write about something- then bring it in and read it. I told her later that I did write about it but she said the 'reading out loud' part was part of the deal.

Therapy is also a lesson in knowing our feelings are valid and speaking them up/back/with/& to people. I never realized how much of processing our stuff is tied into the act of speaking.