Abuse

I didn't realize I was being exploited right away when it was happening to me.

When I think of r***, images come to me- crumpled sobbing body, bruises, discovery & rescue, trip to ER. Timely validation that one has been abused. Police. Therapy.

There was no discovery & rescue, no ER, r*** crisis worker. No certain awareness that I had been exploited. Who do you trust to talk it through when it was your own psychiatrist who abused you? It took me several decades to even know what to call it.

There was little sympathy when I started talking about it. There was plenty of blaming the victim. I didn't even know to verbally defend myself against blame.
I blamed myself, too.

I didn't know it was unethical. I didn't know it was against the law. I denied the most egregious act was all that bad.

A medical licensing board officer interviewed me by phone. He didn't tell me I was telling my details on speaker phone. I found out after telling my story when I heard several men guffawing.

Therapist abuse is just vile.

I don't have words to describe what I feel when I hear a story like yours This is so unfair that no amount of sadness or anger will be enough to react to this appropriately :-(( This is so beyond words..I am so sorry this happened to you

it is vile. I am so sorry

"A medical licensing board officer interviewed me by phone. He didn't tell me I was telling my details on speaker phone. I found out after telling my story when I heard several men guffawing."

Sounds like therapist abuse followed by the secondary trauma of system abuse. Sorry - I don't know if that is a helpful observation, but please know that the way this is being dealt with does NOT sound ok either. Sending many cyber-space hugs your way.

I don't know how many years ago this happened. May be such outrageous things were legal and normal back then, but not now, at least not in my state. When I was interviewed by the investigator, he asked my permission for recording our conversation. I suspect that if I didn't give the permission that would not help my case so I said I was ok with the recording. I didn't have anything to risk because I was not the one investigated. But, in any case, I was informed about the recording beforehand, which allowed me to choose how I wanted to phrase my answers.

Your response helped me remember something else-

I also reported the events to the police department. A detective had me come in for an interview. My lawyer was not with me...I don't think I had a civil lawyer yet. The detective had been talking to me for a while. I answered his questions. I didn't feel guarded because I knew I was telling the truth.
Then I saw him reach over and turn a cassette tape over. I told him- I didn't know I was being recorded...I remember saying that.

Once I had my civil attorney, she asked about letters, pictures, calendars, voice mails and tapes. I told her about the police interview and the tape. She was not happy with the police. Later, I asked her about the police interview. She said she had talked to the detective and "there is no tape." At first, I thought she was doubting me, but I think she meant she talked to the detective and made the tape "disappear."

This all happened in the late 90's in a small city in California.

Absolutely on point. Reporting/litigation was another level of trauma.
One of the lawyers remarked, "At least I hope you had good sex." He was an attorney on MY team.

I could write a book.

Thank you for the insight.

I see. So, it was about 18-20 years ago. Well, may be it also varies from place to place.

I live in the greater LA area and the board's investigator's office is in Glendale. I drove there by myself. I didn't have an attorney. My case didn't involve sexual violation and I didn't intend to do a civil litigation, so I didn't need a representation. It was a straightforward board complaint where the board just needed to get my part of the story. The investigator was very polite and very professional. As I said, I was informed about audio taping and I gave my consent to that. The interview lasted for about 2 hrs. All the questions seemed to aim at establishing facts as far as what did and didn't happen. Then I was told I'd be informed about the status of the case as it moves forward and I was informed. I got the copies of the accusation and the settlement. It took a very long time though for the process to get completed - about 1.5 years.

It all seems like it happened yesterday..I haven't been able to reconcile with my profession ever since..I don't have a problem with the licensing board. I think, they actually did their job. But I am PISSED at all colleagues of mine and all my subsequent therapists who were too uncomfortable with the subject to support me for real. Their "support" was formal, superficial. They acknowledged the wrongdoing and immediately afterwards switched the subject to how I should "move on". I am pissed at the professional organization where I received psychoanalytic training for not giving me support and not providing me with legal counsel they provide all their members with. I was told that even though I am a professional and an affiliate member of their organization, they don't necessarily provide legal assistance to the members who present cases as therapy clients. If I needed an assistance as a therapist who was facing a legal challenge from a client, then, of course, they'd provide it to me with no problem.

Wow..Unbelievable..

This is one of the saddest things I have read here on PC. I am so sorry you went through this and the licensing board's absolutely egregious behavior is disgusting to me.

Horrible. I'm an attorney and cannot fathom saying that- I have no doubt what you posted is true. It's just appalling. That was so ignorant and grossly inappropriate. They deserve being reported to the Bar. Sounds like malpractice, even.

Then you may know where Barstow is. Abuse happened in Barstow. Civil attorney in LA, The "good" T who helped me so much was in Loma Linda. Depositions in LA X2, Las Vegas, and Manhattan Beach.

I'm going to respond to your post more fully, probably tomorrow. Not thinking straight right this minute, but I do want to reply.

I hadn't realized your colleagues and subsequent therapists didn't give you adequate support! That is so screwed up! Absolutely understand your anger.

I looked up Barstow. I didn't know where it was before you mentioned it. Wow..it's about 140 miles from LA! Just how much driving you had to do to see your attorney, your therapist and to go to depositions! Poor thing..

ididitmyway :
Haven't forgotten to respond...activities at home have taken me away and my mind is not able to focus. I didn't want you to think I just forgot your post.

No worries. I didn't think you've forgotten. I know stuff comes up and we need to attend to it. I disappear from PC from time to time too and sometimes for long

Oh my goodness, what a horrible society you live in. So much patriarchy and systemic abuse on top of the abuse you experienced at the hands of the therapist.
None of that is okay. I am sorry for all you have had to go through in order to find justice for yourself.

The California medical board is the only place I found a little justice because they acted fairly quickly. They initially gave him a temporary restraining order on his practices and ultimately revoked his license. He had a lot to do with that as he was very manipulative and uncooperative. They found he had had sexual relations with the three of us clients who had come forward. It was in the newspapers. They also disciplined him for dishonesty- and something else. Can't remember.

It seems like it all happened yesterday for me, too.
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I am most upset that your colleagues and subsequent therapists did not support you! I always thought therapists circle the wagons and take care of their own...but it seems from what you are saying, that is only true if you are the therapist facing a legal complaint. They are therapists, for goodness sakes! Was the perpetrator prominent or influential in some way? I'm so sorry your colleagues and subsequent therapists urged you to "move on!"

It's been 25 years, I guess, for me or thereabouts and Ive known for a while that recovery takes as long as it takes. In my experience there is no closure or moving on or forgetting about it. Time has made the wound a little less painful, is all.

These past few months I have learned that I'm not done processing it. I'm processing it from a new point of view. Initially, everything was happening all at once, civil, criminal, licensing board, Medicare & Medical, so I would gain bits of insight as I was traveling through the trauma. Not easy. Now, I can look back and understand why this or that might have happened, I can ask better questions and I can better understand the right and wrong of things that I did and things that happened to me. At the time, I had no idea what to expect. I see the traumas from a new, more informed perspective and I'm mad, sad, angry, and afraid all over again.

What I'm saying is, I feel disgusted that your own colleagues and subsequent therapists didn't/don't realize this! They went to school for it, they are more familiar with it than many others...they have the connections to ask questions and inform themselves, they subscribe to professional journals, books and articles that talk all about this topic! And I feel so very sorry that you didn't have the support you needed...that you had to virtually create the support you need. Thank you, too, for that..your website and your willingness to help others.
When you are abused by your therapist- who does one trust to talk to about those issues! I'm sorry it has been so difficult for you.

Hi,

Thank you for your kind response precaryous. I haven't been on the forum lately because I've been way too involved in the current political process. I am actively sharing not so mainstream political news and analysis on social media for the purpose of educating a still very large part of our populace who continue to subject themselves to the mainstream media propaganda.

We live in a both very exciting and frightening time when our very survival as a human race may be at stake. This is a time of a great opportunity to raise our collective consciousness drastically and to change ourselves in a radical way, which I hope we will do, otherwise, we are doomed. At times like that, this whole psychotherapy subject seems small, not because it is unimportant, but because from the holistic perspective, this is just a part of much bigger systemic problems that have to do with human nature in general, and subsequently with economy and social justice.

But, specifically to your points, yes, it is incredibly sad that therapists are unable to have compassion for the victims of abuse by their colleagues, even in cases when the victim IS a colleague. It is very sad that they are so scared of the subject that they don't even want to understand what happens in those situations. You are correct, therapists show support to a colleague only when he or she is a subject of complaint by a client, but not when he or she is a victim of abuse by another therapist.

I was invalidated and dismissed by many members of my profession, which is one of the reasons why I am not practicing any more. It's not the only reason and not the main one but one of them. I was fortunate though to have a few positive experiences with a few therapists when I was processing what was going on and was trying to make a decision about the relationship with my ex-therapist that still existed at that point. There were three therapists who validated me, each one in their own way and that was important. It was also important that they didn't try to push me to end the relationship or to report my ex-T, which I appreciated very much. They gave me their take on the situation and left it up to me to make a decision.

I understand that you are still processing what happened after 25 years or so and that you are now seeing some of the things in the new light. This is great. I am always happy when I discover something new about the old situation that I thought I already understood perfectly. I find this process exciting even if it becomes painful like hell.

It's also good that the medical board acted swiftly in your case and punished him. I hope this gave you at least partial vindication.

My case was not as severe as yours though I don't like comparing traumas. My relationship with that T ended in 2011 and the case was settled in 2014 so it's been just a couple of years since there was a formal closure on the case. I have to say I am doing very well comparing to other survivors of such abuse that I've talked to. This has to do with several factors I won't go into, but, as a result, I feel that what happened to me back then was like a past life. I still have a connection to it, the pain and the anger still come, but they come and go, they don't stay with me permanently. I don't have any lingering attachment to the person who exploited me, none whatsoever, which is, probably, the main thing that makes everything better.

Thank you for your kind words about my website. It's important to know that it helps people. I know it does because many people have told me so but I still tend to lose motivation to keep the work going because I doubt that it is needed. I just feel that the time for this issue to come into the collective awareness hasn't come yet. At this point, people are dealing with so many fundamental struggles that have to do with their basic human rights violations and even basic survival that the problems of talk therapy are the last thing the average person is interested in. This will change but not very soon, most likely. What will come into awareness sooner is the crimes of pharmaceutical companies because many millions have become their victims. As far as the talk therapy goes, virtually none of those who have been affected by it negatively came "out of closet" yet. Things will start changing when people start coming out of closet, but I have a feeling this may not happen in my lifetime.

Jesus i am so so sorry that is horrific

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I think the investigation process is pure ******** and has probably made everything far more difficult in the long run. Just my two cents after having had to talk with the investigator about a year ago already and still getting harassed. Subsequent T ditched out on me.

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience. I had an abusive T too. He had no sense of moral judgment at all. The abuse remains with me every day. Apparently, there are more bad therapists than I imagined.