Grooming process and "pink" flags

It's hard when you are having issues with your partner and your marriage. If your therapist is the only person you can talk to, I think it intensifies the relationship massively.

You know he's crossing boundaries, otherwise you wouldn't have asked here. I can understand that it might feel nice at the moment but the situation might cause problems further on down the line. What concerns me is that either he doesn't have a good understanding of what his role is in your life and what his job is (maintaining boundaries is a big part) or he is consciously being unethical and possibly even grooming you. A bit of flirting is ok but your situation seems to be developing into more than that. Not ending the session until you got up to go is a big red flag. What ever is happening, he's not being very honest about it.

Girl From Europe-
A mental health provider in my past complimented me and then began talking in sexual innuendos. I was hungry for the attention. He made me feel special- he made me last patient of the day so he could spend more time with me, he said.

We talked about a lot of things. He listened to me, sympathized and gained my trust. At the end of sessions he would initiate full-body hugs.

Eventually he asked me to relate any sexual fantasies I had of him... I trusted him, I thought this was part of therapy..I hadn’t been having fantasies of him but since that’s what he wanted, I made something up.

Our relationship progressed. He would call me some evenings just to chat. He spoke cryptically on the phone, ‘I’ve wanted to ask you...I think I know the answer, but...’ then he stopped talking. I asked him, what? I had no idea. Then, in session, he told me that intimacies with him would be part of therapy and help ‘get me out there’ in the dating world. I had seen him for a year or more by this time.

Gullible, naive, the relationship went where it ethically shouldn’t have. I felt happy, on top of the world. I even entertained the thought, ‘what if I had his child?’

Suddenly, intimacies stopped. When I asked, why? When? He said, he’d let me know if we’d ever be intimate again. I was confused. When I pressed him for detail, he said he had heart issues and we couldn’t be intimate anymore. He even showed me his bottle of Cardizem, a heart medication. I noticed on the bottle that he had prescribed it to himself. When he noticed me reading the bottle, he jerked it out of my hands.

I tried to tell him how much I cared and we didn’t need to be intimate for me to care. He went back to being a blank-slate therapist. I was heart broken.

‘Therapy’ became all about our ‘relatiobship’ ..or the lack of one..and Medicare paid for most of it, I paid cash for the balance. I *paid him* to exploit me.

He finally suggested we go on a walk. He didn’t want his receptionist to hear. (Our intimacies were secret. He said in some circles, intimacies with clients were ‘frowned upon.’) On our walk, he made it all my fault: ‘ You PROMISED me you could handle this! Why can’t you handle this?’ He said he had been intimate with me because he ‘felt sorry for me.’ He said, ‘see these street people? I had sex with you because I felt sorry for you like I feel sorry for street people.’

Later, I found out he had told his receptionist he was taking me ‘on the walk’ because I was ‘dangerous.’

I had trusted him. Even then I thought, at worst, he had just made a mistake being intimate with me. I still cared about him. My self-esteem had soared. Now I felt crushed, insignificant, confused.

There’s more he did that I know now was unethical. He exploited me financially, talked me out of a bunch of money. He said he would manage it for me so I wouldn’t spend it all.

Ridiculous, right? But because I trusted him and he listened to me...all these things made sense when they occurred. He ‘groomed’ me gradually.

It didn’t occur to me to leave and find another therapist ..at least not until a year later. He never tried to refer me to another therapist. But I would have fought to stay.

I felt like I needed him no matter how confusing our relationship was.No one else would understand me like he did.

I see some of me in your story.

I got out of the relationship, finally. Now looking back I understand he never helped me with the problems that brought me to therapy. He gave me more, new issues and pain and betrayal to deal with.

My therapist was unethical but I wanted to make allowances for him..until a year later when he was arrested for doing something similar to another young client. Eventually, there were seven clients who came forward.

Everything turned ugly very quickly.

When he was questioned by the medical board he claimed I was a ‘known prostitute.’ He said, yes he had received a significant sum of money from me. He claimed it was his fee for filling out two paragraphs on a disability form.

Your therapist is being unethical. I hope you weigh whether he is helping you with the issues you brought to therapy...or if he is just giving you new issues to deal with.

Best wishes.

This is my thought as well.

As I've shared here previously, my therapist had also crossed boundaries with me and the relationship went outside of the office eventually, though it didn't become sexual.

Without going into details I can say that I also felt on top of the world because at that time I felt like that guy was helping me like no one else had ever helped me before. I never felt accepted for who I was, which made me feel like something was innately wrong with me. That therapist made me feel special and may be he was right to some extend. There are some things about me that are special and a few people in my life noticed that and told me about it. He was one of them and he did it best. His feedback was not just flattering, it was insightful. It made me more aware of my natural gifts and convinced me that I needed to put those abilities into a good use, I needed to do something with them. This was objectively helpful. What was not helpful though is that he put me on the pedestal and treated me like a God (he literally said once that he was seeing God in me) instead of helping me find practical ways of using my gifts for my and other people's benefit. But at the time his admiration felt like nirvana and it felt like that was exactly the kind of help I needed. In reality, as I realized in hindsight, he just inflated my ego and left me with no ideas, no practical skills and no ability to find practical applications for my natural gifts. His professional responsibility to me, as I see it, was to help me understand what prevented me from becoming what I always wanted to be - self-sufficient, creative and productive. He never did that. He pointed out my potential, but he never helped me understand how to use it and how to manifest it in the real world full of external obstacles.

So, yeah, back to your point, what feels helpful in the moment, may turn into a mess in the future. And, when intense emotions are involved, it is difficult to make an accurate assessment of whether something is helpful or if it just feels good.

I think about this. When should I have known...as a 38 y/o with social awkwardness..coming to therapy already not reading other people’s cues very well.

With #2 AbsuviePdoc (he sexually exploited me), Maybe it should have been at the beginning of the full-body hugs. Maybe it should have been when he asked me to relate any sexual fantasies I had of him. But the hugs didn’t seem overtly sexual. And I thought relating fantasies were just part of therapy.

When many people go to the doctor they don’t go with the mindset,’ I’ll not take their advice.’ That’s why you consult a doctor or therapist, right? Because you’re in over your head, you’re confused. You go to them for help. You think they might know something you don’t know.

Ok, NOW I go to the doctor with the mindset, ‘question everything.’ ! But people don’t always do that.

The psychiatrist #1 (PrevPDoc) I saw before the sexually exploitative one #2 (AbusivePDoc) completely sexualized therapy, was completely into Freud. He loved the f* word. He’d explain it’s just a word. It’s a wonderful word that can mean so many different things. He was charismatic. He was a force all his own.

Once, in inpatient group therapy #1 had a group of us women in therapy. He started talking about fantasies, how fantasies were harmless, just thoughts. No action. He told us, ‘ I’ve already f* you and you and you in my fantasies, pointing to each of us. Totally sexualized all of us. But this was accepted? We all just smiled! He was a hit! We accepted this.

Now, looking back, I see he did many unethical things. But he never touched me. He never suggested FOR REAL that we should have a romantic or physical relationship. He was a colorful guy.

I had just moved to California at that time. I thought that’s just how therapy was done in California.

Years later, I found out that #1 PrevPdoc had some kind of front lobe dementia. He was arrested for writing opioid and benzo prescriptions and selling them. At least one person died from overdosing on his prescriptions. He is now a felon and in prison. Although I never saw that kind of behavior around me, I never heard of him selling scripts around me or my group of friends, his dementia was probably part of the explanation for his colorful therapy style and lack of boundaries when I knew him. How would a regular person be able to spot that? He was the director of the hospital. Why wouldnt his own colleagues call him out if they knew better?? How could I know he was sick if no ne else knew it or said anything?
My take-away was this behavior was accepted!

#1 PrevPDoc moved and I began seeing #2 AbusivePdoc.

But up until after the #2 abusive Pdoc, no one had ever discussed ‘boundaries’ with me. Therapists before had redirected me, Sure, they might say, ‘Let’s not discuss that here. Take that issue back to group and tell THEM.’ Therapists had boundaries on their contact limitations, etc. But no one had ever discussed MY boundaries with me in a meaningful way.

It’s a conversation I needed to have. I needed to learn where my boundaries were. I needed to know I should have my own boundaries and not just go along and accept everything that happened to me. No one told me about ‘ethics.’
I was gullible and naive. I wish someone had told me before I got into this entire mess.. but who?

It’s a conversation more therapists need to have with their clients.

I am better at boundaries now. But I beat myself up with when ‘I should have known.’

I think about it. But I just don’t know when ‘I should have known.’

I don't think any sexualized comment is appropriate from a therapist, including comments on a client's physical appearance or how they please the T's senses. Even just checking out the client visibly. There is also no therapeutic reason for those things to be said. I've heard that some Ts think it can be appropriate to comment on the client's improvements in appearance to inspire, for example, a depressed person or someone with low self-esteem, but I think it can be expressed in different ways that don't have confusing meaning. If nothing else, sexualizing therapy interactions (even in subtle ways) can be distracting from what should really be the focus.

This alone makes me think you should get away from this T. How could that comment ever be helpful to a client? It's really inappropriate.

Hi everyone,

thank You for all of Your responses and messages. I didn't come here for a long time, because I really found some of Your responses a little exaggerated and hurtful I couldn't find strength to confront them. Sorry If You are not thinking about it in the same way, but I really see him as a human being above all and I couldn't just cut the therapy that is helping me so much like that... Being in integrative therapy mostly CBT oriented, I wonder also if the counter-transference issue is so important to focus on...

precaryous, I'm really so sorry for Your terrifying experience. I've read it carefully and I imagine it must have been awful. I am happy to hear he paid for all of that.

However, my therapist isn't Your therapist and he had never initiated physical contact with me and he is not exploiting me financially either. And most of all, he did not sexually exploited me.

The only thing he is doing rarely, is sometimes sexualizing therapy interactions, as Xynesthesia called it. Not every time, not even so often, only once in a while.

Than, usually after he does that, he becomes very strict, correct, and even exigent to me. Once I joked that probably I should bring him some big cake to thank him for all of the changes in the schedule that he made to adapt to my working days (we change often from Friday to Wednesday, etc.). Surprisingly, his reaction was very strict and he told me "I could never accept a cake from You, it is a therapeutic boundary!" I was about to laugh hard in his face - I didn't even bring it yet and he was like talking about an evil cake, while he's crossing them so much more - is he a schizophrenic or what (with all due respect to schizophrenics)? There are so many contradictions in his behavior. Once he is joking like even we could have sex, making ambiguous jokes about it (but always in a way that leave space for imagination, not literally... like lately after a long session when we talked about my sex life, we were finishing standing close and I accidentally locked the door instead of opening it, he was all smiling and flirting about it and said "as for the interpretation of what have just happened here, let's just leave it to our own judgement to think about it on our way home today..." and then I saw him watching me from the window when I was going back home, the window that is usually covered with blinds... like, he didn't say "if you closed the door it means you wanted to stay here with me and make all the dirty things you talked about in session, but it was so sexual from his side, or maybe I am going crazy already and exaggerating... just to be clear: it was the first time I talked openly about things that are hurting me in my sex life, not that we are talking about it often), than the next session he is going crazy about hypothetical cake that I didn't bring to him and I would never do. He's also a christian therapist, lately he told me how he thinks that Someone made him do what he's doing to help people. I am a christian, too and I am happy that he thinks about his mission like that, but... All of this really seem to me so inconsistent, like he doesn't know what he wants literally and above all, he pretends that nothing has happened even when he says things that are really sexual. Does he even remember it all after it happens?... I can't understand what is the state of hi conscience, knowing he is a really intelligent and smart man, graduated in different stuff, certificated, etc... He has all this beautiful family, wife and three kids, I know who they are because it's a quite small, christian community here, even if I don't have any contact with them and I don't want to (we have mutual friends with his family on Facebook, he doesn't use it, though)... But sometimes I wonder, how would his wife feel if she knew about all of these comments, would it be ok for her?... Maybe it would, maybe she accept this part of him. I don't know.

Would like to add, that when I tried two or three times to lightly touch the subject in some way, I saw him really afraid about talking "us" - he was like closed, distant, not willing to speak about it. Once I was so tired of all of this changes of his behavior, his flirting and then becoming closed and distant, that I wrote him of anger a text message that I see that maybe if it's a difficult time for him and we should quit for a while. On a next session I wanted to explain why I did that, but he was like offended and told me "for me we can quit if you like" without even asking what is going on, like an offended kid. I was really hurt by this words and wrote to him after a really short e-mail (I never do that), that I know that we can quit and it wasn't necessary to say and that there are some things I don't feel comfortable enough to speak about in our therapy... And some other stuff how grateful I am for his support etc. He suddenly couldn't make his computer start working, he had so many things for different weeks, when I finally confronted him about my e-mail he started to laugh nervously that his Internet is not working and "he isn't good in these type of conversations". After I was really ready to dump all of that and than suddenly he wrote me an e-mail and a text message at the same time, that he wants to continue the therapy with me and it is not indifferent to him whether I will break it or not. So logical, isn't it...

From this time I have never tried to speak about the subject again.

Lately I thought about talking with him about it again, because it really irritates me but then I thought that it won't change anything that we concentrate about it in my therapy... Because for now the most important thing for me is that the therapy really helps me with some other, urgent staff that I am straggling with, my health issues, the way I am treated in home by my husband (we started couple therapy with my husband lately and he was diagnosed as a passive-aggressive person by a couple therapist...) and the role I took at work that is also generating a lot of stress at the moment in my life. I am not writing about all of this problems I'm straggling with here, but my T is a real professional with experience and I don't know what I would do without his support is all these fields mentioned above...

I would like to thank You all for Your messages and say that I really appreciate Your willingness to help and You responses, also Your private messages You've sent me. I know he's behavior isn't 100% correct and I promise I will keep an eye on it thanks to the examples You brought...

P.S. The only dangerous part of all that I see at the moment, is that I really like him as a man, too. I didn't like him before, but know it's different, I admit it. But I would never make a move on him and I think he would never make a move on me, so as long as nothing gets physical between us, as long as we don't call each other or meet often, I hope there is no danger to us or our families... Although I sometimes feel guilty, that maybe it's my behavior or dress or my eyes shining more in his presence, that are tempting him...

Ups maybe I wrote too much because nobody's responding. 😉

You didn't share too much, I mean, I personally would not share that much detail here but that's me. If you are ok with it, then it's fine. I am happy you reached out via DM too and hopefully you find some comfort in my reply. I prefer to keep our chats about this subject to DM... as I wont post any examples of stuff here...

Thank You, DP.

I putted so many examples, because I can't understand weather I should speak wit him or am I exaggerating. It's so difficult to judge and see in a objective way.

I will write You a private message as soon as possibile.

Here in Europe we're going to sleep, so wish You a good night ;-)

He said he has to finish our therapy "because he's wife is jealous" that I wrote him a text message. He made it seem like it was his wife's jealousy and my problem. He neglected completely that he was inappropriate, that he said many flirtatious things. He didn't even make me speak, wanted me to leave as soon as possibile. He said everything he told me has terapeutic sense, even the thing that he could cheat on his wife. He said he was charmed by different clients but not by me. When I said what was the sens of different other sexual jokes, he said we are finishing. I said we have still time but he said "no, we always see each other 50 minutes". I said "What are You talking about? Now the session lasts 50 minutes? It was sometimes 70, 80 minutes, always at least 60", he looked me in the eyes and lied "IT was always 50 minutes"... I am destroyed. I cant eat and sleep. I can't believe it all. Why is he lying. Or was I delusional. He said we still will meet for one month, but I cannot see any sense in this...

All of this months of him flirting and highly inappropriate, and now wanting me to leave because his wife is jealous, but he can't exolain why is she jealous if he hasn't done anything. I feel like in some Greek ancient comedy or better tragedy... I new You were telling me I should leave him, I should have listened to You... Now I am really a wreck....

I'm so sorry you're having this experience. It sounds very painful. Maybe there's some value in seeing him another month to wrap things up, but honestly he sounds manipulative and I don't see any reason you should subject yourself to that much less pay for it.

So sorry that happened. Wish I had something better to say but i can't stand liars. I wish ts were more honest with clients. For people with trust issues, things like this are the opposite of helpful. Message if you need to talk

Thank You so much for Your support... The worst thing for me is that he is now angry at me, denying anything and telling me that he has done nothing, all of these flirting and comments was on therapy purpose! Even comments about "my beautiful perfumes that I bring to his cold office" and joking about me closing his studio door's on purpose (to stay with him) and everything, it was innocente! All this denying and anger when confronted, was all described in "Dangerous signs" post above, but I didn't believe it would happen in my case... But You saw it and You can tell that he objectively crossed the lines, didn't You? I am not delusional? He humiliated me by saying that he never liked me as a woman, just as I thought he will and even if I know what he was doing, it still hurts me as a woman that he is lying and I can't ubderstand, why. I am writing with him in these days telling him that I don't know if there is any sense to see each other anymore - he respond me, that there is and he wrote "I really understand your point of view...", but always writes in this cold and "professional" manner, that is totally different from the way he was in all of these two years. Maybe he's afraid that his wife would read it again? Yesterday I got fight with my husband and after I was feeling so lonely, that for the first time I felt like cutting my arm with the knife. It helped me not to feel the pain of my heart, knowing that he won't defend me anymore.

I'm so sorry he's acting this way. This suggests to me that he knows he did something wrong and is trying to cover for it. Please stay safe and take care of yourself.

Girl from Europe.
Sad it happened like this. It reminds me my t very much (we had romantic relationships) that his wife is jealous. My t left me blaming me that his wife read my texts and wants to divorce now because he cheated on her. Its not my fault that he cheated and that she read my texts but its easy to blame anyone else.

What did you wrote to him to make his wife jealous? Its not a reason to end therapy.
Why the hell his wife reads your texts??? Even if he cheated his wife with you he cant blame you for anything.

Dont believe in s*** he says now because he is mad and tries to hurt you by saying this.
He is not ok, he needs therapy for himself.
He has conflict with his wife and he puts his anger in you and acting really really bad to you.

Hi Lunatic Soul, thank You for Your answer. I also think, that whatever has happened between You and Your T,, or between me and mine (even if it was "only" flirting and seducing with words or gestures, etc.), it's not our fault. But it's really difficult to not feel guilty now, when the person I trusted is blaming me, as if I was the reason of his maritial issues... I thought he is there to support me, he was the one encouraging me to not feel guilty for everything, to express my emotions, and suddenly he is freaking out and acting as if I was some kind of evil person wanting to seduce his poor soul.

As for the messages, I wrote him some thoughts about mine and our situation. As consequence of a session about my very intimate things between me and my husband (I said I feel frustrated not receiving love and attention from him and sometimes I'm afraid I could cheat on him), he became very seductive and flirtatious at the end of the meeting as I described before. Suddenly one week after I saw him irritated and distant, so I blamed myself of course that I did something wrong and asked him in my message maybe I should have not speak to him about things I did and if he is ok with that. He respondend that he is ok and that he is sending greetings to my cat and his fleas... (usual, stupid jokes we were making). I responded thank You, even though I know you can't tell the honest truth because of the therapy boundries. One day later I felt really bad, I had a flu with the fever and was coughing a lot, that is also my psychosomatic issue we were working about, that I feel I cannot breath (I suffer from severe acid reflux) and I wrote also that I feel like I am trapped in every single part of my life, including our therapy and don't know how to proceed with all of the unclear stuff I am confronting. I used an example of the book I wrote diploma about, I meant I am trapped as a book's hero which was a girl - florist that changed her life but wasn't really ready to all of the changes. He responded that even a florist has a right to the happiness and breath and asked me to think what makes me suffocate so much that my body is reacting with different symptoms (usually he was implying that it is my husband). I wrote that the thing that is making me feel choking is that I cannot be really free to be myself, which is being in love with the freedom (but in my lanugage it could also be understood as I would like to be free to be in love with someone in liberty - the meaning was I am in love with the fact I could be myself, and I am choking because I cannot - and I also explained it in the other message - I wrote "I meant in love with being free, because I don't know if it was clear)). Then we were writing about some chrisitan event I would like to go but It knew he will be there, so I said maybe I won't, and he wrote that for him it isn't problem, but I joked that I couldn't even say about my therapist to others or even give him a piece of cake, so maybe better no, and then we wrote some other stuff and greetings, etc.
I know it could seem like I was seductive now, whan I Read all of the stupid things I wrote, but I think I was really confused because of his flirty jokes and behaviours and wanted to go clear in some way, and also I was feeling really, really bad these days and had a fever. Normally, I think I would wait for our session.

Aś You already know, one week later he started to accuse me and attack me by saying what was I thinking and that his wife saw everything, and the rest You know... His wife was jealous and told him to leave me.

P.s. It was the first time I wrote so many things, for example when he was on a vacarion we didn't speak for three months between rare sessions and I wasnt searhcing for him. It's that I was really confused of all of the situation.

Im sorry it happens to you. This cant be your fault, naybe he is lying about his wife. If its true why is she jealous to clients? It seems she cant trust him. Its not your problems anymore, its their problems.

What are you planing to do?

Thank You. In fact, I was suspecting that this isn't true also, and that is only his way to finish it without consequences, by blaming me and his wife instead of admitting his own behavior and errors. However, if it's true, then he's wife had a reason not to trust him and I know why - because he was being seductive.. Maybe not only with me.

We've met yesterday. He started form excuses about "everything", about his "behavior", about how he takes the whole responsibility, etc. The problem is, he didn't admit explicitly what his behavior wasn't correct - even last time, when we argued, he said he takes the responsibility, but then he neglected everything, so I have doubts now about what is he really meaning.

He said he is sorry for how we were humiliating and accusing one another and looked in a place where we were standing when he said he has never crossed boundaries on purpose and neglected he liked me, so maybe that was his way of admitting it, I don't know. I sad I was also thinking about finishing out therapy, he asked why and I said "Because of similar reasons, but from your side", and I changed topic and he didn't comment...

Now he wants to meet three other times and I don't know what to do.

I don't know if there is any sense of meeting without talking openly about his behaviors and feelings that brought us to this point IMO. I don't know if I will be able to speak about it fearing he will neglect everything and humiliate me again.

I am not feeling very well also physically in this period and have a lot of doubts about meeting him again.

Seems like he wants to scratch our wounds we made to each other again and again, but what's the point about it if we are still going to end everything and nothing will be like it was before, never again. He said he wants me to leave without suffering and without feeling so bad, I said I don't know if it's gonna happen. I'm already hurt so much... He said he wants me to send him to hell and live my life. I said I've already send him to hell.

Oh gosh, this sounds so painful and confusing. You have done absolutely nothing wrong, regardless of what you have said in person or via texts. His behaviour sounds really odd, and what he said to you regarding terminating therapy, was really cruel. He is blatantly lying and trying to cover is cowardly a--rse. If he was a decent therapist, he would not mention his wife's jealousy, or tell you that he was attracted to other clients but not you, he might explain that you would be better off seeing someone else and try to make a referral to another therapist. Therapists do make mistakes but the good ones should always have the best interests of the clients at heart. Sounds like he cares more about himself than you.

I'm sorry if this is hard to hear but you deserve better. Are there any other therapists you could see in your community? Or could you possible travel out a little further to find one?

Only go back and see him if you think it would help. I would really recommend you record the session too... in case you need it later.

Good luck and sending you hugs, let us know how it goes. xx

I would like to say first of all, that You guys are really helping me A LOT to pass this difficult time in my life. Maybe for You it's just a message, but I am feeling so lonely now with this crappy situation, I am waking up at night at blaming myself - so it really helps there are some persons that find even one or two words to lift me up. Thank You so much.

TeaVicar, thank You for Your comment.

At the moment I tried contacting different therapists online and two in person, but couldn't find a common language with them. One of them, ultra-catholic one, just made me feel like she thinks maybe I am exaggerating, or having a pleasure from this situation, she said she "usually don't take sides in conflicts", and I felt really bad afterwards. I felt like she was defending him from some sense of sick solidarity between therapists.

The worst thing of all for now is, that I see how dependent I became of him. He was really "getting" me, You know, both as a therapist but unfortunately also as a man - because of the flirtatious area I felt like there is something that will happen sooner or later, I knew it would bring us to bed one day (oh gosh I know how it sounds, but it was a part of a problem...). I know I shouldn't have even think about it, but his seductiveness became like some sort of drug that was killing my pain in my marriage, especially because he was always emphasizing the fact that I was unfulfilled in my marriage, the fact that a woman in bed deserves a real pleasure - of course we were only talking, but You can immagine how much I was craving for it afterwards.

That's also why it is so difficult now to say goodbye. We have still three meetings left and although I know now, how bad person he is, I know I don't trust him, I know he has done so many things wrong and he's been extremely cruel to me two weeks ago - and still I wish to see him. I am so stupid, I know. Maybe it is all my fault, after all.

It will be difficult to say goodbye, for sure. That doesn't mean that you're stupid or that it's your fault. As you know from being on here, developing loving feelings for your therapist is a really common occurrence... and why wouldn't it be? The environment is perfect for fostering those feelings. Unfortunately your therapist, for whatever reason, was not able to respond to your feelings in an appropriate way... most likely through lack of training and or lack of successful personal therapy. The failure is 100% down to him. If you want to see him again, go ahead, just make sure you're looking after yourself.

Try to be kind to yourself, you're going through a lot right now. xx

Thank You.
The truth is I would never be suffering so much of his loss, if it wouldn't be for his flirting, his seductiveness, his making me feel so special by creating erotic atmosphere.

And the worst part is, that I feel anything can happen if I go see him again...

I have had argument with him via sms, because he wants me to do the 3 final sessions ASAP, and I am feeling really bad now and feel need to get help both for my disease and for my metal state, so I wrote I need time, and he was acting like he can't understand and wrote with anger something like "I dont get what do You want, want to meet or no". I got angry, too, and I wrote that he is making me decide to fast because he wants just to quit and get over with it and it isn't ok that he is not trying to understand how I feel, etc, and he didn't respond me anymore. Tomorrow we should have sessions, and I didn't even let him know if I will come. I feel so low today, my father left when I was a teenager and I feel exactly the same kind of emotions, lost, betrayed, treated like ****, guilty, sad, everything the same...

And then there is my husband that also is angry at me and told me today, that none of this would happen if I put pur relationship in a first place. It was SO painful to here that he is also blaming me. I feel destroyed really, and feel like no one understands me except You guys...